How would you feel about this MIL taking over kitchen thing? Am I being petty?

[Anonymous]

You are being dramatic because the kitchen will not be "destroyed."

That said, just tell her that you're particular about your kitchen because it's new and you have it all set up the way you like. Tell her that you're enjoying it so much that you've already planned most of the meals. Laugh and say she'll be giving you a break by spending time with your DH and keeping him out of your hair. But no, having her working in there is not going to cause trauma. But warning her ahead of time that you're persnickety might ensure she cleans up better than she does at home.

[Anonymous]

It would be a boundary issue for me. If it was my “old” kitchen I might sit back but somehow “I’ll be the one to break in your new kitchen for the Holiday” seems pushy and overstepping. Actually obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Also searching for things afterwards is a pain. I put everything in a certain place so I don’t have to spend time looking for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's rude because she doesn't clean up after herself.

I'd have a talk with your DH about HIM doing the extra clean up and trying to steer her away from it.

But if that fails, pour a cocktail and excuse yourself from the kitchen entirely. Ask your DH to be one step behind mummy with the cleaning and you go read somewhere else so it doesn't drive you batty.

This

Literally make a time checklist like public bathrooms where he goes by the kitchen, cleans up all messes or outs things away, and signs off on the time. He needs to do this every 2-3 hours and after major MIL cooking or usage.

She sounds like she has zero self awareness. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One more tip: if she makes piles of stuff on the counters, have a place to PUT all that stuff. Clear a section of your pantry now, so you can put all that stuff away and keep your stress level low. Then just say "oh your stuff is in the pantry" without going bananas.

Cool! Have your houseguest rip roar around using and depleting everything AND never putting things back where they below. Just have a central depository pantry where the magic fairy can go to shop later for replacements and out things back where they really go. Cool. I love enabling BS.

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of my h. House looks great Friday night and by a mess because he wakes up early, dribbles pancake mix everywhere, never cleans up, let’s the 6 yo pour syrup everywhere, leaves out the milk, pans, bowls, flour, dirty plates. The kids eat sweets and by 9am he goes to the base,ENT to work and never clean anything. He doesn’t care either. It will sit the whole weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

Unf a lot of people of all ages do NOT know this nor do this. And are even more lax with family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

You are WRONG! This is her MOTHER in law. Does OP want to have a family or not? She should feel lucky she feels so comfortable in her home. She should be grateful to have a MIL who wants to help out. SO what if it's mesy. OP can clean up or her DH can clean up. OP is being too controlling here. She needs to lighten up and enjoy her MIL and let her DH enjoy hs mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

You are WRONG! This is her MOTHER in law. Does OP want to have a family or not? She should feel lucky she feels so comfortable in her home. She should be grateful to have a MIL who wants to help out. SO what if it's mesy. OP can clean up or her DH can clean up. OP is being too controlling here. She needs to lighten up and enjoy her MIL and let her DH enjoy hs mother.

I do not, really, want to have this mil and nobody particularly enjoys her. Sorry to rain on your rage parade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

You are WRONG! This is her MOTHER in law. Does OP want to have a family or not? She should feel lucky she feels so comfortable in her home. She should be grateful to have a MIL who wants to help out. SO what if it's mesy. OP can clean up or her DH can clean up. OP is being too controlling here. She needs to lighten up and enjoy her MIL and let her DH enjoy hs mother.

H can enjoy his mother in the family room while she leaves the kitchen alone. Not her house. She’s a guest. Sit down and enjoy the meals your host prepares. Maybe offer to take your hosts out once while you visit. Invading the kitchen, using everything in it, making a mess, and insisting you are breaking in the new kitchen is not your domain as a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

You are WRONG! This is her MOTHER in law. Does OP want to have a family or not? She should feel lucky she feels so comfortable in her home. She should be grateful to have a MIL who wants to help out. SO what if it's mesy. OP can clean up or her DH can clean up. OP is being too controlling here. She needs to lighten up and enjoy her MIL and let her DH enjoy hs mother.

H can enjoy his mother in the family room while she leaves the kitchen alone. Not her house. She’s a guest. Sit down and enjoy the meals your host prepares. Maybe offer to take your hosts out once while you visit. Invading the kitchen, using everything in it, making a mess, and insisting you are breaking in the new kitchen is not your domain as a guest.

You are wrong. She's in you home. She should feel welcome and she wants to help you, she's cooking for you. You are being selfish and ungrateful, Try to be a little less controlling and more welcoming. Do what if the kitchen gets a little messy or a pot is put in the wrong space. DH or OP can fix it after. Enjoy the food, maybe take the opportuntity to lear some family recipes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

You are WRONG! This is her MOTHER in law. Does OP want to have a family or not? She should feel lucky she feels so comfortable in her home. She should be grateful to have a MIL who wants to help out. SO what if it's mesy. OP can clean up or her DH can clean up. OP is being too controlling here. She needs to lighten up and enjoy her MIL and let her DH enjoy hs mother.

H can enjoy his mother in the family room while she leaves the kitchen alone. Not her house. She’s a guest. Sit down and enjoy the meals your host prepares. Maybe offer to take your hosts out once while you visit. Invading the kitchen, using everything in it, making a mess, and insisting you are breaking in the new kitchen is not your domain as a guest.

You are wrong. She's in you home. She should feel welcome and she wants to help you, she's cooking for you. You are being selfish and ungrateful, Try to be a little less controlling and more welcoming. Do what if the kitchen gets a little messy or a pot is put in the wrong space. DH or OP can fix it after. Enjoy the food, maybe take the opportuntity to lear some family recipes.

The last time my MIL tried to cook in our kitchen she stuck the electronic meat thermometer in the meat and put it in the oven. It started a fire in our oven. She was not old or infirm at the time. So no, I’m not ungrateful. I’m pragmatic. She would utterly destroy a new kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time.

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc.

You are WRONG! This is her MOTHER in law. Does OP want to have a family or not? She should feel lucky she feels so comfortable in her home. She should be grateful to have a MIL who wants to help out. SO what if it's mesy. OP can clean up or her DH can clean up. OP is being too controlling here. She needs to lighten up and enjoy her MIL and let her DH enjoy hs mother.

H can enjoy his mother in the family room while she leaves the kitchen alone. Not her house. She’s a guest. Sit down and enjoy the meals your host prepares. Maybe offer to take your hosts out once while you visit. Invading the kitchen, using everything in it, making a mess, and insisting you are breaking in the new kitchen is not your domain as a guest.

You are wrong. She's in you home. She should feel welcome and she wants to help you, she's cooking for you. You are being selfish and ungrateful, Try to be a little less controlling and more welcoming. Do what if the kitchen gets a little messy or a pot is put in the wrong space. DH or OP can fix it after. Enjoy the food, maybe take the opportuntity to lear some family recipes.

The last time my MIL tried to cook in our kitchen she stuck the electronic meat thermometer in the meat and put it in the oven. It started a fire in our oven. She was not old or infirm at the time. So no, I’m not ungrateful. I’m pragmatic. She would utterly destroy a new kitchen.

LOL, so something my mom would do.