Boyfriend Wants To Get Back Together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’ll be too old for kids and Midwest vs VA is actually another issue because those are quite different.

By the way, you sound very immature and you don’t know what “career” is lol you need exactly two years to do what exactly? Get some magical promotion by then? By the way way, plenty of women have jobs and kids and continue to advance their careers. If you have a job you like to stick around at then you’re ready for kids or do you imagine you won’t work as hard or be a sahm? I had kids at 31 and am now pregnant again and I’m in a higher up better paying position now, women don’t stop being “good at their jobs” because they have kids.

I wish I knew your ex to tell him to drop you and move on to someone that is ready and has the same goals as he does. You’re just wrong for each other and you sound very immature.

Don't shame the OP. Some jobs are harder to sustain with children and there's a pressure to choose between them. I seriously doubt you're a senior partner in a law firm. Perhaps that's what the OP is aiming for.

I’m not a senior partner but tell me how you can be a senior partner in two years when she’s starting her career after her advanced degree would love to know how that works! You’re making excuses for her just like she is.

OP here. It’s not an excuse. I’m entitled to have kids when I want to have them on my time. Sorry you clearly think your husband owns your body and can dictate when you have kids for his benefit, but that’s not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’ll be too old for kids and Midwest vs VA is actually another issue because those are quite different.

By the way, you sound very immature and you don’t know what “career” is lol you need exactly two years to do what exactly? Get some magical promotion by then? By the way way, plenty of women have jobs and kids and continue to advance their careers. If you have a job you like to stick around at then you’re ready for kids or do you imagine you won’t work as hard or be a sahm? I had kids at 31 and am now pregnant again and I’m in a higher up better paying position now, women don’t stop being “good at their jobs” because they have kids.

I wish I knew your ex to tell him to drop you and move on to someone that is ready and has the same goals as he does. You’re just wrong for each other and you sound very immature.

Don't shame the OP. Some jobs are harder to sustain with children and there's a pressure to choose between them. I seriously doubt you're a senior partner in a law firm. Perhaps that's what the OP is aiming for.

I’m not a senior partner but tell me how you can be a senior partner in two years when she’s starting her career after her advanced degree would love to know how that works! You’re making excuses for her just like she is.

OP here. It’s not an excuse. I’m entitled to have kids when I want to have them on my time. Sorry you clearly think your husband owns your body and can dictate when you have kids for his benefit, but that’s not me.

Lol your immaturity is showing my dear… I thought it wasn’t about wanting but work is the story changing? You’ll need to come up with more and better excuses btw because you clearly can’t own your shit. And unlike your old boyfriend now ex but maybe not ex blah blah, my husband and I are and continue to be on the same page about major life decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’ll be too old for kids and Midwest vs VA is actually another issue because those are quite different.

By the way, you sound very immature and you don’t know what “career” is lol you need exactly two years to do what exactly? Get some magical promotion by then? By the way way, plenty of women have jobs and kids and continue to advance their careers. If you have a job you like to stick around at then you’re ready for kids or do you imagine you won’t work as hard or be a sahm? I had kids at 31 and am now pregnant again and I’m in a higher up better paying position now, women don’t stop being “good at their jobs” because they have kids.

I wish I knew your ex to tell him to drop you and move on to someone that is ready and has the same goals as he does. You’re just wrong for each other and you sound very immature.

Don't shame the OP. Some jobs are harder to sustain with children and there's a pressure to choose between them. I seriously doubt you're a senior partner in a law firm. Perhaps that's what the OP is aiming for.

I’m not a senior partner but tell me how you can be a senior partner in two years when she’s starting her career after her advanced degree would love to know how that works! You’re making excuses for her just like she is.

OP here. It’s not an excuse. I’m entitled to have kids when I want to have them on my time. Sorry you clearly think your husband owns your body and can dictate when you have kids for his benefit, but that’s not me.

Lol your immaturity is showing my dear… I thought it wasn’t about wanting but work is the story changing? You’ll need to come up with more and better excuses btw because you clearly can’t own your shit. And unlike your old boyfriend now ex but maybe not ex blah blah, my husband and I are and continue to be on the same page about major life decisions.

You don’t make any sense. Go take your meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’ll be too old for kids and Midwest vs VA is actually another issue because those are quite different.

By the way, you sound very immature and you don’t know what “career” is lol you need exactly two years to do what exactly? Get some magical promotion by then? By the way way, plenty of women have jobs and kids and continue to advance their careers. If you have a job you like to stick around at then you’re ready for kids or do you imagine you won’t work as hard or be a sahm? I had kids at 31 and am now pregnant again and I’m in a higher up better paying position now, women don’t stop being “good at their jobs” because they have kids.

I wish I knew your ex to tell him to drop you and move on to someone that is ready and has the same goals as he does. You’re just wrong for each other and you sound very immature.

Don't shame the OP. Some jobs are harder to sustain with children and there's a pressure to choose between them. I seriously doubt you're a senior partner in a law firm. Perhaps that's what the OP is aiming for.

I’m not a senior partner but tell me how you can be a senior partner in two years when she’s starting her career after her advanced degree would love to know how that works! You’re making excuses for her just like she is.

OP here. It’s not an excuse. I’m entitled to have kids when I want to have them on my time. Sorry you clearly think your husband owns your body and can dictate when you have kids for his benefit, but that’s not me.

Lol your immaturity is showing my dear… I thought it wasn’t about wanting but work is the story changing? You’ll need to come up with more and better excuses btw because you clearly can’t own your shit. And unlike your old boyfriend now ex but maybe not ex blah blah, my husband and I are and continue to be on the same page about major life decisions.

Nope. Sorry it’s not 1950’s. Men don’t decide when to have kids. OP is 30, not 40. She isn’t ready and shouldn’t be forced to have kids when she will be the default parent. You just don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’ll be too old for kids and Midwest vs VA is actually another issue because those are quite different.

By the way, you sound very immature and you don’t know what “career” is lol you need exactly two years to do what exactly? Get some magical promotion by then? By the way way, plenty of women have jobs and kids and continue to advance their careers. If you have a job you like to stick around at then you’re ready for kids or do you imagine you won’t work as hard or be a sahm? I had kids at 31 and am now pregnant again and I’m in a higher up better paying position now, women don’t stop being “good at their jobs” because they have kids.

I wish I knew your ex to tell him to drop you and move on to someone that is ready and has the same goals as he does. You’re just wrong for each other and you sound very immature.

Don't shame the OP. Some jobs are harder to sustain with children and there's a pressure to choose between them. I seriously doubt you're a senior partner in a law firm. Perhaps that's what the OP is aiming for.

I’m not a senior partner but tell me how you can be a senior partner in two years when she’s starting her career after her advanced degree would love to know how that works! You’re making excuses for her just like she is.

OP here. It’s not an excuse. I’m entitled to have kids when I want to have them on my time. Sorry you clearly think your husband owns your body and can dictate when you have kids for his benefit, but that’s not me.

Lol your immaturity is showing my dear… I thought it wasn’t about wanting but work is the story changing? You’ll need to come up with more and better excuses btw because you clearly can’t own your shit. And unlike your old boyfriend now ex but maybe not ex blah blah, my husband and I are and continue to be on the same page about major life decisions.

Nope. Sorry it’s not 1950’s. Men don’t decide when to have kids. OP is 30, not 40. She isn’t ready and shouldn’t be forced to have kids when she will be the default parent. You just don’t get it.

Are you as dumb as the OP or just have reading comprehension issues…??? OP argued she wanted to “advance” her career in two years lol whatever that means as in if you have kids you can’t do that which is ….as dumb as OP. As I said, just because women have kids doesn’t mean they can’t do a job well and get promoted. She’s just being stupid and using arbitrary excuses like career read her posts in her words, successful career and kids are mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of income do you have? Does he have? This makes a difference for a working mom.

OP here. I currently make $80k but will be making close to $150k with this new job. I’m 30 and just don’t want a baby right now. I’m entitled to feel that way and have kids on my own timeline. Nothing is perfect and things don’t always work out like you want, but I’m also not willing to have kids where I will be the main parent when I’m not ready. He brings in a lot of money but works a very demanding job. I will end up being the sole parent and my career will be the one affected the most if we have kids. He wants two kids back to back, so that means two kids in 2-3 years for me if it works out. I’m not ready to become a mom at 31 and have to put my career on hold. I would rather work up a career for 3-5 years and then have the ability to scale hours back or work PT when I have kids.

This is the reason I broke up with him. No one is at fault and neither of us are wrong for wanting what we want. We just have a different timeline. I’ve decided not to get back together with him.

OP, you are really immature and your ex is better off without you. It is not so much about whether you want kids now or later, it is about your priorities and they are all set wrong. Even if you wanted kids today, they are not going to just pop out when you want them. You are trading likely long term happiness for short term gains and chasing a definition of success that has led many down a very unhappy path. I truly hope I am wrong and it works out for you…..but I have seen this move before.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why you're attacking the OP for not wanting kids right now. She may not actually want them at all but not have realized that yet. I have friends in their late 40s / early 50s who don't have kids and now they never will.

They were ambivalent about it in their 20s and 30s. Relationships ended over it. They are single or dating but happily childless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you're attacking the OP for not wanting kids right now. She may not actually want them at all but not have realized that yet. I have friends in their late 40s / early 50s who don't have kids and now they never will.

They were ambivalent about it in their 20s and 30s. Relationships ended over it. They are single or dating but happily childless.

No one is attacking her. She does not know what she wants. If she wants to be happily childless and dating in her 40s and 50s then she should not be back with her ex. She seems to be going down that path anyways but she does not seem to know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’ll be too old for kids and Midwest vs VA is actually another issue because those are quite different.

By the way, you sound very immature and you don’t know what “career” is lol you need exactly two years to do what exactly? Get some magical promotion by then? By the way way, plenty of women have jobs and kids and continue to advance their careers. If you have a job you like to stick around at then you’re ready for kids or do you imagine you won’t work as hard or be a sahm? I had kids at 31 and am now pregnant again and I’m in a higher up better paying position now, women don’t stop being “good at their jobs” because they have kids.

I wish I knew your ex to tell him to drop you and move on to someone that is ready and has the same goals as he does. You’re just wrong for each other and you sound very immature.

Don't shame the OP. Some jobs are harder to sustain with children and there's a pressure to choose between them. I seriously doubt you're a senior partner in a law firm. Perhaps that's what the OP is aiming for.

I’m not a senior partner but tell me how you can be a senior partner in two years when she’s starting her career after her advanced degree would love to know how that works! You’re making excuses for her just like she is.

OP here. It’s not an excuse. I’m entitled to have kids when I want to have them on my time. Sorry you clearly think your husband owns your body and can dictate when you have kids for his benefit, but that’s not me.

Lol your immaturity is showing my dear… I thought it wasn’t about wanting but work is the story changing? You’ll need to come up with more and better excuses btw because you clearly can’t own your shit. And unlike your old boyfriend now ex but maybe not ex blah blah, my husband and I are and continue to be on the same page about major life decisions.

Nope. Sorry it’s not 1950’s. Men don’t decide when to have kids. OP is 30, not 40. She isn’t ready and shouldn’t be forced to have kids when she will be the default parent. You just don’t get it.

Are you as dumb as the OP or just have reading comprehension issues…??? OP argued she wanted to “advance” her career in two years lol whatever that means as in if you have kids you can’t do that which is ….as dumb as OP. As I said, just because women have kids doesn’t mean they can’t do a job well and get promoted. She’s just being stupid and using arbitrary excuses like career read her posts in her words, successful career and kids are mutually exclusive.

What you fail to realize is OP isn’t ready to become a mom. Regardless of an “ excuse”, she doesn’t want them and she shouldn’t be made to have them before she is ready. Like it or not, most women are the default parents. OP will end up mommy teaching her career if she had two kids back to back and it will be that much harder to compete as she gets older. She is smart to get herself in a position she wants now. She is 30, not 35. She has time.

OP said her boyfriend works a lot. She will end up being the main caregiver and I wouldn’t be surprised if she becomes a PT worker or SAHM. Almost all the women I know ended up putting their career on hold when they had kids. Men very rarely do. OP is much smarter than you to realize she doesn’t want to be forced to have kids before she is ready and be mommy tracked since she be the main parent. Sorry you’re too dense to understand any of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you're attacking the OP for not wanting kids right now. She may not actually want them at all but not have realized that yet. I have friends in their late 40s / early 50s who don't have kids and now they never will.

They were ambivalent about it in their 20s and 30s. Relationships ended over it. They are single or dating but happily childless.

No one is attacking her. She does not know what she wants. If she wants to be happily childless and dating in her 40s and 50s then she should not be back with her ex. She seems to be going down that path anyways but she does not seem to know that.

She seems pretty damn clear about what she wants. I guess it doesn’t fit in the little box of needing a baby by 30. Gasp but Some women actually want more out of life than a husband and a baby. Maybe she stays single, maybe she meets a man in a year or two and has kids. She is smart not to have kids before she is ready. What if she ends up hating her life and resenting her husband? I wasn’t ready for kids at 30 and broke up with a boyfriend because of it. I met my husband at 32 with two kids at 35 and 37. No kids right now doesn’t mean no kids ever.

You DON’T get to tell women when to have kids. Women have more value than being a wife and a mother. Sorry your outdated thinking hasn’t helped you see that. Be gone back to be a servant for your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you're attacking the OP for not wanting kids right now. She may not actually want them at all but not have realized that yet. I have friends in their late 40s / early 50s who don't have kids and now they never will.

They were ambivalent about it in their 20s and 30s. Relationships ended over it. They are single or dating but happily childless.

No one is attacking her. She does not know what she wants. If she wants to be happily childless and dating in her 40s and 50s then she should not be back with her ex. She seems to be going down that path anyways but she does not seem to know that.

She seems pretty damn clear about what she wants. I guess it doesn’t fit in the little box of needing a baby by 30. Gasp but Some women actually want more out of life than a husband and a baby. Maybe she stays single, maybe she meets a man in a year or two and has kids. She is smart not to have kids before she is ready. What if she ends up hating her life and resenting her husband? I wasn’t ready for kids at 30 and broke up with a boyfriend because of it. I met my husband at 32 with two kids at 35 and 37. No kids right now doesn’t mean no kids ever.

You DON’T get to tell women when to have kids. Women have more value than being a wife and a mother. Sorry your outdated thinking hasn’t helped you see that. Be gone back to be a servant for your husband.

You are the worst kind of person to advice anyone. You think there is only one way for women and that’s your way. You are a truly a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you're attacking the OP for not wanting kids right now. She may not actually want them at all but not have realized that yet. I have friends in their late 40s / early 50s who don't have kids and now they never will.

They were ambivalent about it in their 20s and 30s. Relationships ended over it. They are single or dating but happily childless.

No one is attacking her. She does not know what she wants. If she wants to be happily childless and dating in her 40s and 50s then she should not be back with her ex. She seems to be going down that path anyways but she does not seem to know that.

She seems pretty damn clear about what she wants. I guess it doesn’t fit in the little box of needing a baby by 30. Gasp but Some women actually want more out of life than a husband and a baby. Maybe she stays single, maybe she meets a man in a year or two and has kids. She is smart not to have kids before she is ready. What if she ends up hating her life and resenting her husband? I wasn’t ready for kids at 30 and broke up with a boyfriend because of it. I met my husband at 32 with two kids at 35 and 37. No kids right now doesn’t mean no kids ever.

You DON’T get to tell women when to have kids. Women have more value than being a wife and a mother. Sorry your outdated thinking hasn’t helped you see that. Be gone back to be a servant for your husband.

You are the worst kind of person to advice anyone. You think there is only one way for women and that’s your way. You are a truly a horrible person.

Pot meet kettle, lady.

You’re the worst kind of person if you think OP needs to just get a husband and have a bad even though she isn’t ready. This isn’t 1950. Women have options. It’s OPs choice, and only her choice, when she wants kids. That is not up for discussion from some lunatic online who is shaming OP for not having kids because she wants to be in a better career position. You still fail to realize most women are the default parents. She will sacrifice her work for a baby, but I guarantee OPs boyfriend won’t be doing the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you're attacking the OP for not wanting kids right now. She may not actually want them at all but not have realized that yet. I have friends in their late 40s / early 50s who don't have kids and now they never will.

They were ambivalent about it in their 20s and 30s. Relationships ended over it. They are single or dating but happily childless.

No one is attacking her. She does not know what she wants. If she wants to be happily childless and dating in her 40s and 50s then she should not be back with her ex. She seems to be going down that path anyways but she does not seem to know that.

She seems pretty damn clear about what she wants. I guess it doesn’t fit in the little box of needing a baby by 30. Gasp but Some women actually want more out of life than a husband and a baby. Maybe she stays single, maybe she meets a man in a year or two and has kids. She is smart not to have kids before she is ready. What if she ends up hating her life and resenting her husband? I wasn’t ready for kids at 30 and broke up with a boyfriend because of it. I met my husband at 32 with two kids at 35 and 37. No kids right now doesn’t mean no kids ever.

You DON’T get to tell women when to have kids. Women have more value than being a wife and a mother. Sorry your outdated thinking hasn’t helped you see that. Be gone back to be a servant for your husband.

You are the worst kind of person to advice anyone. You think there is only one way for women and that’s your way. You are a truly a horrible person.

What? You’re the only one saying OP doesn’t have any options other than to have kids because she will be single forever if she leaves her boyfriend. You sound delusional.