Boyfriend Wants To Get Back Together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

These are MINOR details you can compromise on - if you really love each other these are EASY.

He probably just misses the sex after a month away. And often a first breakup is just the rehearsal for the final one.

Stop wasting our time.

If they could easily compromise on them, they wouldn’t have broken up over it. For some reason, it’s *not* easy for them to compromise on these things.

If you want to get back together with him, OP, work these issues out first before you get back together. Don’t waste your time spending another year with him only to break up again for exactly the same reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

These are MINOR details you can compromise on - if you really love each other these are EASY.

He probably just misses the sex after a month away. And often a first breakup is just the rehearsal for the final one.

Stop wasting our time.

If they could easily compromise on them, they wouldn’t have broken up over it. For some reason, it’s *not* easy for them to compromise on these things.

If you want to get back together with him, OP, work these issues out first before you get back together. Don’t waste your time spending another year with him only to break up again for exactly the same reasons.

LEARN TO READ TO THE END OF THE SENTENCE..easy to compromise on "if you really love each other".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

OP here. He has decided he is willing to wait until I’m ready to have kids. We also realize which state to raise kids in or suburbs vs city is something we can compromise on. I just couldn’t compromise on having kids before I’m ready.

So if the issues are all worked out, why do you need our opinions on whether to get back together? It sounds like there are other things holding you back from committing to him that you don’t want to talk about. Or maybe you don’t trust that you will actually work those issues out later and you’ll be stuck with his preferences by default if he won’t compromise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

City vs suburbs and which state can be big. Your "main issue" is actually the lesser issue, though I'd feel differently if the roles were reversed because there is a more of a biological clock issue with women. How old are you both and when exactly do you envision having kids and when does he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

These are MINOR details you can compromise on - if you really love each other these are EASY.

He probably just misses the sex after a month away. And often a first breakup is just the rehearsal for the final one.

Stop wasting our time.

No one told you to come on here and post. You’re the only one wasting your time. Find something else more amusing. Anyone can post what they want. It’s not all about you.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? How old is he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

OP here. He has decided he is willing to wait until I’m ready to have kids. We also realize which state to raise kids in or suburbs vs city is something we can compromise on. I just couldn’t compromise on having kids before I’m ready.

How old are you guys and why do you want to wait? Do you really want kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

These are MINOR details you can compromise on - if you really love each other these are EASY.

He probably just misses the sex after a month away. And often a first breakup is just the rehearsal for the final one.

Stop wasting our time.

If they could easily compromise on them, they wouldn’t have broken up over it. For some reason, it’s *not* easy for them to compromise on these things.

If you want to get back together with him, OP, work these issues out first before you get back together. Don’t waste your time spending another year with him only to break up again for exactly the same reasons.

LEARN TO READ TO THE END OF THE SENTENCE..easy to compromise on "if you really love each other".

Not necessarily. What if they both have careers they feel passionate about, but one’s job is tied to this area and the other’s requires them to move every few years? You can truly love someone but also not be willing to give up something else you love, or be willing to ask the person you love to give up something they care about deeply to follow you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

OP here. He has decided he is willing to wait until I’m ready to have kids. We also realize which state to raise kids in or suburbs vs city is something we can compromise on. I just couldn’t compromise on having kids before I’m ready.

Newsflash... nobody is ever reaallllly ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

These are MINOR details you can compromise on - if you really love each other these are EASY.

He probably just misses the sex after a month away. And often a first breakup is just the rehearsal for the final one.

Stop wasting our time.

No one told you to come on here and post. You’re the only one wasting your time. Find something else more amusing. Anyone can post what they want. It’s not all about you.

+1. People like PP are so annoying. Stop coming on this thread if you don’t like it. It’s really that easy. You’re not the only person on this board. No one cares about your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he articulated what he’s willing to change to address the reasons you broke in the first place? Have you?

OP here. He’s a little older than me and is ready for marriage and kids. I want to get married but want to wait a couple more years to have kids. This is thy r main issue, but there is also city vs suburbs and which state we would raise our kids in.

OP here. He has decided he is willing to wait until I’m ready to have kids. We also realize which state to raise kids in or suburbs vs city is something we can compromise on. I just couldn’t compromise on having kids before I’m ready.

How old are you guys and why do you want to wait? Do you really want kids?

OP here. I’m 30 and he is 37. We have been dating for a year. I love him and I’m very much still in love with him. We had a wonderful relationship but I initiated the talk about breaking up because I felt it was wrong to keep him waiting. He’s ready for kids and I’m not. I didn’t want that to a problem and source of resentment down the road.

I do really want kids. I just turned 30 and I want to wait 3-5 years. The earliest I would consider trying is two years. I just got an advanced degree that I want to put to use and build up my career before kids come into play. I worked really hard and don’t want to get pregnant next year and then be on maternity leave and then have to start building my new career with a baby. My hope is to build my career to the point I have a lot more flexibility and time when I do have kids to work less or have a good schedule.

He wants to get married next year and then immediately start trying for kids. We both want two kids. Im not ready for kids that soon.

He’s from VA and I’m from the Midwest. I would like to move back to the Midwest and he wants to raise a family in VA.

We can compromise on that, but the timeline of having kids is a huge issue for me. I worry that I may never find someone I see a future with if we end things for good. I also fear that I will have this pressure to be ready before I want kids if we do get back together.

[Anonymous]

You’ve posted before, I believe. If these were significant enough to break up initially then they still are. I think you both need to move on.

[Anonymous]

OP do you even know if you're capable of having kids? What if you start trying at 35 and by 42 you have zero kids and are looking at your 25th round of IVF / Adoption?

[Anonymous]

Not to insinuate that boyfriend isn't sincere and truly does want to make it work. But upcoming holidays also many times makes people lonelier and wanting to be with someone. I'd take it slow in case these issues start to become problems again after the first of the year. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you even know if you're capable of having kids? What if you start trying at 35 and by 42 you have zero kids and are looking at your 25th round of IVF / Adoption?

OP here. I think I would have issues at any age if there was a real issue. I’ve had full work ups and everything looked good but you never know. I’m not going to start trying for kids before I’m ready out of fear. I ideally would like to wait until 32/33 to start trying for kids. If kids don’t work out, I can consider things then, but I’m not going to panic and fear about something that I know not sure will be an issue.