DH says he has no connection to our kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

I think OP is a troll.

IVF for sex selection isn't covered under insurance and costs like 50k. OP do you have that kind of money? This is a troll.

I’m not sure what the cost was 8 years ago but it’s not necessarily 50k. Our insurance did cover IVF and genetic testing. Without insurance 1 cycle was 30k, including testing. A lot of people do genetic testing and gender select (although most do not do IVF to gender select). It’s not terrible unusual in the IVF community.

Not saying it’s not a troll but I notice there tend to be a lot of misinformation about IVF out there. If OP got lucky and had a healthy male embryo from one cycle I’m guessing 30k. And this is DCUM, 30k isn’t much to many of us.

Insurance covered it for you because you needed it. It doesn't cover it u less you have a medical need for IVF. "Wanting a son" isn't a medical need. Additionally, OP's husband is in the military. Unless he is an officer most military families with two kids don't have 50k lying around.

Are you from the 1950s too?

Why are we assuming OP doesn’t work?

Where did I assume that? Do you think she earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while married to an enlisted service member? Maybe! But higk u likely.

I’m a ICU nurse and my insurance covered three rounds of IVF. It did not cover genetic testing though, we had to pay for that and the majority of the meds our of pocket.

I definitely do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don’t think everyone who does IVF does.

I will say that I was also 39 and DH was 42 when we got pregnant with our son, so that was also a contributing factor to why we chose IVF. We had been trying for a third for a few years and it wasn’t happening.

JFC you people are thick. If you decide to do IVF solely for the purpose of sex selection insurance covers NONE OF IT. Not just the cost of genetic testing, they cover absolutely nothing. You are out of pocket for all of it.
Insurance will cover IVF if you have a medical need. Wanting a son isn't a medical need. Genetic testing has nothing to do with it.

WR has an IVF clinic and they may be more flexible. Tricare covers IVF.

He was probably gone during the early years of all the kids. He probably has depression and PTSD depending on where he was deployed to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have PTSD if he was deployed?

Yes. He has a slew of issues but won’t address them because he’s “old school” and doesn’t believe in therapy or mental health. He’s very much, “buck up, shut up, and deal with it.”

It’s upsetting to watch.

He needs to do EMDR, you must demand it or else.

Also I would choose activities for him to do with the kids and require he do them.

It won't hurt your kids to fish or hunt with your H.

Your kids should pick one thing they like to do and your H should do that.

Kind this all up.

My asd and bipolar H needed an intervention from me, my parents and his parents. He was neglecting us all and lashing out. Untreated mental disorders are no joke.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you live in a time warp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

I think OP is a troll.

IVF for sex selection isn't covered under insurance and costs like 50k. OP do you have that kind of money? This is a troll.

I’m not sure what the cost was 8 years ago but it’s not necessarily 50k. Our insurance did cover IVF and genetic testing. Without insurance 1 cycle was 30k, including testing. A lot of people do genetic testing and gender select (although most do not do IVF to gender select). It’s not terrible unusual in the IVF community.

Not saying it’s not a troll but I notice there tend to be a lot of misinformation about IVF out there. If OP got lucky and had a healthy male embryo from one cycle I’m guessing 30k. And this is DCUM, 30k isn’t much to many of us.

Insurance covered it for you because you needed it. It doesn't cover it u less you have a medical need for IVF. "Wanting a son" isn't a medical need. Additionally, OP's husband is in the military. Unless he is an officer most military families with two kids don't have 50k lying around.

Are you from the 1950s too?

Why are we assuming OP doesn’t work?

Where did I assume that? Do you think she earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while married to an enlisted service member? Maybe! But higk u likely.

I’m a ICU nurse and my insurance covered three rounds of IVF. It did not cover genetic testing though, we had to pay for that and the majority of the meds our of pocket.

I definitely do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don’t think everyone who does IVF does.

I will say that I was also 39 and DH was 42 when we got pregnant with our son, so that was also a contributing factor to why we chose IVF. We had been trying for a third for a few years and it wasn’t happening.

JFC you people are thick. If you decide to do IVF solely for the purpose of sex selection insurance covers NONE OF IT. Not just the cost of genetic testing, they cover absolutely nothing. You are out of pocket for all of it.
Insurance will cover IVF if you have a medical need. Wanting a son isn't a medical need. Genetic testing has nothing to do with it.

You seem dim.

PGT/PGS testing wasn’t covered under our insurance (UnitedHealthcare) but everything else was covered for us (including meds). We didn’t have to prove infertility or go through IUIs. Our policy cover 30k lifetime for IVF which covered everything but PGT/PGT testing.

You are lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

I think OP is a troll.

IVF for sex selection isn't covered under insurance and costs like 50k. OP do you have that kind of money? This is a troll.

I’m not sure what the cost was 8 years ago but it’s not necessarily 50k. Our insurance did cover IVF and genetic testing. Without insurance 1 cycle was 30k, including testing. A lot of people do genetic testing and gender select (although most do not do IVF to gender select). It’s not terrible unusual in the IVF community.

Not saying it’s not a troll but I notice there tend to be a lot of misinformation about IVF out there. If OP got lucky and had a healthy male embryo from one cycle I’m guessing 30k. And this is DCUM, 30k isn’t much to many of us.

Insurance covered it for you because you needed it. It doesn't cover it u less you have a medical need for IVF. "Wanting a son" isn't a medical need. Additionally, OP's husband is in the military. Unless he is an officer most military families with two kids don't have 50k lying around.

Are you from the 1950s too?

Why are we assuming OP doesn’t work?

Where did I assume that? Do you think she earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while married to an enlisted service member? Maybe! But higk u likely.

I’m a ICU nurse and my insurance covered three rounds of IVF. It did not cover genetic testing though, we had to pay for that and the majority of the meds our of pocket.

I definitely do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don’t think everyone who does IVF does.

I will say that I was also 39 and DH was 42 when we got pregnant with our son, so that was also a contributing factor to why we chose IVF. We had been trying for a third for a few years and it wasn’t happening.

JFC you people are thick. If you decide to do IVF solely for the purpose of sex selection insurance covers NONE OF IT. Not just the cost of genetic testing, they cover absolutely nothing. You are out of pocket for all of it.
Insurance will cover IVF if you have a medical need. Wanting a son isn't a medical need. Genetic testing has nothing to do with it.

You seem dim.

PGT/PGS testing wasn’t covered under our insurance (UnitedHealthcare) but everything else was covered for us (including meds). We didn’t have to prove infertility or go through IUIs. Our policy cover 30k lifetime for IVF which covered everything but PGT/PGT testing.

You are lying.

I’m not the OP (who could very well be lying). But no, I’m not lying and you’re very odd for focusing on the IVF part of this story versus the neglectful father.

Why are you debating what my insurance covered for me? Odd bird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

I think OP is a troll.

IVF for sex selection isn't covered under insurance and costs like 50k. OP do you have that kind of money? This is a troll.

I’m not sure what the cost was 8 years ago but it’s not necessarily 50k. Our insurance did cover IVF and genetic testing. Without insurance 1 cycle was 30k, including testing. A lot of people do genetic testing and gender select (although most do not do IVF to gender select). It’s not terrible unusual in the IVF community.

Not saying it’s not a troll but I notice there tend to be a lot of misinformation about IVF out there. If OP got lucky and had a healthy male embryo from one cycle I’m guessing 30k. And this is DCUM, 30k isn’t much to many of us.

Insurance covered it for you because you needed it. It doesn't cover it u less you have a medical need for IVF. "Wanting a son" isn't a medical need. Additionally, OP's husband is in the military. Unless he is an officer most military families with two kids don't have 50k lying around.

Are you from the 1950s too?

Why are we assuming OP doesn’t work?

Where did I assume that? Do you think she earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while married to an enlisted service member? Maybe! But higk u likely.

I’m a ICU nurse and my insurance covered three rounds of IVF. It did not cover genetic testing though, we had to pay for that and the majority of the meds our of pocket.

I definitely do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don’t think everyone who does IVF does.

I will say that I was also 39 and DH was 42 when we got pregnant with our son, so that was also a contributing factor to why we chose IVF. We had been trying for a third for a few years and it wasn’t happening.

JFC you people are thick. If you decide to do IVF solely for the purpose of sex selection insurance covers NONE OF IT. Not just the cost of genetic testing, they cover absolutely nothing. You are out of pocket for all of it.
Insurance will cover IVF if you have a medical need. Wanting a son isn't a medical need. Genetic testing has nothing to do with it.

You seem dim.

PGT/PGS testing wasn’t covered under our insurance (UnitedHealthcare) but everything else was covered for us (including meds). We didn’t have to prove infertility or go through IUIs. Our policy cover 30k lifetime for IVF which covered everything but PGT/PGT testing.

You are lying.

Look, I’m an NP here. The definition of infertility is trying for a year with no baby. This is self reported. They could easily have said they’ve been trying for a third since the second child was born. They would be one of many experiencing “secondary infertility.” All it takes is one appointment with your OB where you self report your problem. If they can’t find a reason for the infertility then it’s diagnosed as unexplained secondary infertility. Given ages the doctor could recommend going straight to IVF. Many insurance plans allow you to go straight to IVF after an infertility diagnosis.

This is not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

+1

He really does. A sexist ex-military guy who enjoys hurting/killing things for fun. What a prize.

OP, your kids are going to be so messed up if you stay with this guy.

And after divorce the kids may spend 50% of their childhood alone with him. And away from their mom. How is that better for them?

That’s only when the dad requests 50% custody. This guy is not going to be doing that.

It may, in fact, fit his, suck it up, do what you gotta do ethos. Would SUCK for the kids though.

OP, you realize that while he does not beat or scream at the kids he is profoundly damaging them in other ways instead, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

I think OP is a troll.

IVF for sex selection isn't covered under insurance and costs like 50k. OP do you have that kind of money? This is a troll.

I’m not sure what the cost was 8 years ago but it’s not necessarily 50k. Our insurance did cover IVF and genetic testing. Without insurance 1 cycle was 30k, including testing. A lot of people do genetic testing and gender select (although most do not do IVF to gender select). It’s not terrible unusual in the IVF community.

Not saying it’s not a troll but I notice there tend to be a lot of misinformation about IVF out there. If OP got lucky and had a healthy male embryo from one cycle I’m guessing 30k. And this is DCUM, 30k isn’t much to many of us.

Insurance covered it for you because you needed it. It doesn't cover it u less you have a medical need for IVF. "Wanting a son" isn't a medical need. Additionally, OP's husband is in the military. Unless he is an officer most military families with two kids don't have 50k lying around.

Are you from the 1950s too?

Why are we assuming OP doesn’t work?

Where did I assume that? Do you think she earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while married to an enlisted service member? Maybe! But higk u likely.

I’m a ICU nurse and my insurance covered three rounds of IVF. It did not cover genetic testing though, we had to pay for that and the majority of the meds our of pocket.

I definitely do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don’t think everyone who does IVF does.

I will say that I was also 39 and DH was 42 when we got pregnant with our son, so that was also a contributing factor to why we chose IVF. We had been trying for a third for a few years and it wasn’t happening.

JFC you people are thick. If you decide to do IVF solely for the purpose of sex selection insurance covers NONE OF IT. Not just the cost of genetic testing, they cover absolutely nothing. You are out of pocket for all of it.
Insurance will cover IVF if you have a medical need. Wanting a son isn't a medical need. Genetic testing has nothing to do with it.

You seem dim.

PGT/PGS testing wasn’t covered under our insurance (UnitedHealthcare) but everything else was covered for us (including meds). We didn’t have to prove infertility or go through IUIs. Our policy cover 30k lifetime for IVF which covered everything but PGT/PGT testing.

You are lying.

Look, I’m an NP here. The definition of infertility is trying for a year with no baby. This is self reported. They could easily have said they’ve been trying for a third since the second child was born. They would be one of many experiencing “secondary infertility.” All it takes is one appointment with your OB where you self report your problem. If they can’t find a reason for the infertility then it’s diagnosed as unexplained secondary infertility. Given ages the doctor could recommend going straight to IVF. Many insurance plans allow you to go straight to IVF after an infertility diagnosis.

This is not hard.

This is true. I have DOR and AMA but never had to “prove” anything. Our first RE meeting I said we had been trying for 6 months and no pregnancy and they started planning my cycle. My insurance (i’ve had two plans on cigna and one with uhc over the years) have all just approved us straight to ivf - non iui needed. Pgt was covered. 20k/30k/no max plans respectfully. Had a daughter 5 years ago and due w my second DD in Jan.

I’m sure if they made enough blasts to test they were offered the gender split and chose a boy. Wouldnt ever have to divulge the preference

[Anonymous]

DTMFA

[Anonymous]

Lots of Caucasian American women choose female embryos over male embryos. Many women prefer to have a daughter and it is considered OK. I do not see a problem with a man desiring a son. What is the difference? Gender selection is legal in US and people choose gender all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of Caucasian American women choose female embryos over male embryos. Many women prefer to have a daughter and it is considered OK. I do not see a problem with a man desiring a son. What is the difference? Gender selection is legal in US and people choose gender all the time.

I think gender selection is pretty awful in general. But in this case, this man didn’t think his daughters were good enough, did IVF just to get a “manly son” and didn’t get the son he wanted so won’t try to have a relationship with him. It’s awful and abusive and OP is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

+1

He really does. A sexist ex-military guy who enjoys hurting/killing things for fun. What a prize.

OP, your kids are going to be so messed up if you stay with this guy.

But you sure enjoy eating dead fish and animals, hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

I think OP is a troll.

IVF for sex selection isn't covered under insurance and costs like 50k. OP do you have that kind of money? This is a troll.

I’m not sure what the cost was 8 years ago but it’s not necessarily 50k. Our insurance did cover IVF and genetic testing. Without insurance 1 cycle was 30k, including testing. A lot of people do genetic testing and gender select (although most do not do IVF to gender select). It’s not terrible unusual in the IVF community.

Not saying it’s not a troll but I notice there tend to be a lot of misinformation about IVF out there. If OP got lucky and had a healthy male embryo from one cycle I’m guessing 30k. And this is DCUM, 30k isn’t much to many of us.

Insurance covered it for you because you needed it. It doesn't cover it u less you have a medical need for IVF. "Wanting a son" isn't a medical need. Additionally, OP's husband is in the military. Unless he is an officer most military families with two kids don't have 50k lying around.

Are you from the 1950s too?

Why are we assuming OP doesn’t work?

Where did I assume that? Do you think she earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while married to an enlisted service member? Maybe! But higk u likely.

I’m a ICU nurse and my insurance covered three rounds of IVF. It did not cover genetic testing though, we had to pay for that and the majority of the meds our of pocket.

I definitely do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don’t think everyone who does IVF does.

I will say that I was also 39 and DH was 42 when we got pregnant with our son, so that was also a contributing factor to why we chose IVF. We had been trying for a third for a few years and it wasn’t happening.

JFC you people are thick. If you decide to do IVF solely for the purpose of sex selection insurance covers NONE OF IT. Not just the cost of genetic testing, they cover absolutely nothing. You are out of pocket for all of it.
Insurance will cover IVF if you have a medical need. Wanting a son isn't a medical need. Genetic testing has nothing to do with it.

You seem dim.

PGT/PGS testing wasn’t covered under our insurance (UnitedHealthcare) but everything else was covered for us (including meds). We didn’t have to prove infertility or go through IUIs. Our policy cover 30k lifetime for IVF which covered everything but PGT/PGT testing.

You are lying.

Look, I’m an NP here. The definition of infertility is trying for a year with no baby. This is self reported. They could easily have said they’ve been trying for a third since the second child was born. They would be one of many experiencing “secondary infertility.” All it takes is one appointment with your OB where you self report your problem. If they can’t find a reason for the infertility then it’s diagnosed as unexplained secondary infertility. Given ages the doctor could recommend going straight to IVF. Many insurance plans allow you to go straight to IVF after an infertility diagnosis.

This is not hard.

This is true. I have DOR and AMA but never had to “prove” anything. Our first RE meeting I said we had been trying for 6 months and no pregnancy and they started planning my cycle. My insurance (i’ve had two plans on cigna and one with uhc over the years) have all just approved us straight to ivf - non iui needed. Pgt was covered. 20k/30k/no max plans respectfully. Had a daughter 5 years ago and due w my second DD in Jan.

I’m sure if they made enough blasts to test they were offered the gender split and chose a boy. Wouldnt ever have to divulge the preference

+!. More than half of my AMA UC and UMC NYC girlfriends did exactly this. You show up at a RE at 37 and say you've been trying for 18 months with no pregnancy and they move you right along. You get 5 blasts, 3 girls and 2 boys? Well, either the doctor picks or you do. You obviously go for "the healthiest" but all things being equal? You're going to gender select a that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry and do gender selection with an asshole, OP? He sounds awful.

I think OP is a troll.

IVF for sex selection isn't covered under insurance and costs like 50k. OP do you have that kind of money? This is a troll.

I’m not sure what the cost was 8 years ago but it’s not necessarily 50k. Our insurance did cover IVF and genetic testing. Without insurance 1 cycle was 30k, including testing. A lot of people do genetic testing and gender select (although most do not do IVF to gender select). It’s not terrible unusual in the IVF community.

Not saying it’s not a troll but I notice there tend to be a lot of misinformation about IVF out there. If OP got lucky and had a healthy male embryo from one cycle I’m guessing 30k. And this is DCUM, 30k isn’t much to many of us.

Insurance covered it for you because you needed it. It doesn't cover it u less you have a medical need for IVF. "Wanting a son" isn't a medical need. Additionally, OP's husband is in the military. Unless he is an officer most military families with two kids don't have 50k lying around.

Are you from the 1950s too?

Why are we assuming OP doesn’t work?

Where did I assume that? Do you think she earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year while married to an enlisted service member? Maybe! But higk u likely.

I’m a ICU nurse and my insurance covered three rounds of IVF. It did not cover genetic testing though, we had to pay for that and the majority of the meds our of pocket.

I definitely do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don’t think everyone who does IVF does.

I will say that I was also 39 and DH was 42 when we got pregnant with our son, so that was also a contributing factor to why we chose IVF. We had been trying for a third for a few years and it wasn’t happening.

JFC you people are thick. If you decide to do IVF solely for the purpose of sex selection insurance covers NONE OF IT. Not just the cost of genetic testing, they cover absolutely nothing. You are out of pocket for all of it.
Insurance will cover IVF if you have a medical need. Wanting a son isn't a medical need. Genetic testing has nothing to do with it.

You seem dim.

PGT/PGS testing wasn’t covered under our insurance (UnitedHealthcare) but everything else was covered for us (including meds). We didn’t have to prove infertility or go through IUIs. Our policy cover 30k lifetime for IVF which covered everything but PGT/PGT testing.

You are lying.

Look, I’m an NP here. The definition of infertility is trying for a year with no baby. This is self reported. They could easily have said they’ve been trying for a third since the second child was born. They would be one of many experiencing “secondary infertility.” All it takes is one appointment with your OB where you self report your problem. If they can’t find a reason for the infertility then it’s diagnosed as unexplained secondary infertility. Given ages the doctor could recommend going straight to IVF. Many insurance plans allow you to go straight to IVF after an infertility diagnosis.

This is not hard.

Committing insurance fraud is not the same thing as having insurance coverage for IVF when not medically indicated. This is not hard.

[Anonymous]

Who paid for the IVF gender selection? That’s expensive!