APS had my second grader eat inside today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s good to remember that second graders aren’t reliable narrators. I’m sure he ate inside but there may be more to it.

Ugh the the relatable narrator phrase 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m irate. After keeping schools closed almost all year last year they elected at their own discretion to have my child eat inside with another kid that he is friends with who has emotional/behavioral issues today.

Nobody contacted me for permission beforehand.

They are using my child as an emotional/behavioral support and reward for this child who has issues.

We know their family because they were in our same daycare. During covid we did hang out with them a bit because they were in our daycare bubble. We really like the parents but the kid has serious issues and we wish to separate our child from him to a good extent so he forms other friendships and also doesn’t pick up this kid’s behaviors or become exclusively associated with him.

I’m just so furious that they risked my child’s health and safety with no regard for my concern or permission (after he was kept out of school almost all of last year) and that they are using him as an emotional support/reward for this ED kid. And I will now look like the bad guy for breaking up their lunch club.

They also told my son he could bring beyblades to school last week when he and the other boy get to have indoor recess together if the other boy is well behaved. Again. They didn’t ask my permission before telling my son this and it was again a difficult conversation when we first resisted letting him bring toys to school (a general no in our house).

I’ve already emailed the special Ed aide and principal and asked for someone to contact me about this ASAP.

Calm down. You're not presenting very well. You are coming off as completely irrational and entitled.

Also, get used to this sort of thing. It's common. Schools often look for "good influences" to pair with children who have behavioral problems -- eat at the same table at lunch, sit at the same table in class, etc. I mean absolutely no VBA when I say this, but it happened to my children all the time.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, both of my kids were brought into lunch bunches with various kids throughout their elementary years in APS. We were never informed ahead of time, and I never really thought much about them. The kids would mention them in passing, like "Larlo invited me to his lunch bunch today". And yes, we knew that Larlo had some social or emotional issues, but the kids never acted like it was an imposition or that they would have preferred to be with the rest of the kids in the cafeteria. Some kids can't handle the noise/chaos of being around 100 kids at the same time (have you gone to lunch at one of the schools? The noise can be deafening). The lunch bunch is a calmer environment, that can allow more environmentally sensitive kids to have fun and make friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, both of my kids were brought into lunch bunches with various kids throughout their elementary years in APS. We were never informed ahead of time, and I never really thought much about them. The kids would mention them in passing, like "Larlo invited me to his lunch bunch today". And yes, we knew that Larlo had some social or emotional issues, but the kids never acted like it was an imposition or that they would have preferred to be with the rest of the kids in the cafeteria. Some kids can't handle the noise/chaos of being around 100 kids at the same time (have you gone to lunch at one of the schools? The noise can be deafening). The lunch bunch is a calmer environment, that can allow more environmentally sensitive kids to have fun and make friends.

My kid has often been invited to them a few times over the years, he almost always declines, he’s not forced.

[Anonymous]

You're the one who decided to send your kid back into the school building, and all that involves. If you don't like your kid being inside the building, sign up for virtual learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're the one who decided to send your kid back into the school building, and all that involves. If you don't like your kid being inside the building, sign up for virtual learning.

This. Since you’re throwing a hissy fit over two kids eating inside what are you going to do in winter?

Clearly you need the stellar virtual program APS has created.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash, OP, your kid goes to school with kids who are neurodiverse and need help being friends. Kudos to your son for being kind to this boy and a good example. He clearly didn’t get it from you.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness. First thing I'd work on is finding out the whole story. One thing I am CERTAIN is that many 2nd graders are not reliable narrators. He may be saying he was "forced" when in reality he was asked if he wants to do that.

My 2nd grader would absolutely change the way this was presented if she was feeling pouty.

So before you freak out on everyone, just email the teacher and ASK WHAT HAPPENED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s good to remember that second graders aren’t reliable narrators. I’m sure he ate inside but there may be more to it.

Ugh the the relatable narrator phrase 🙄

The OP sounds like she hit the roof before getting the whole story. Her own title is "APS had my 2nd grader...". APS (as a system) was not responsible, this was a teacher decision. So, email the teacher!! Find out what's going on. THEN react. Don't just freak out because of a story your 7 year old told you. He may have it mostly right, but the entire crux on her anger is intent. She may not completely understand the teacher's intentions here. The best way to find those is to talk to the other adults. Once the teacher confirms she is using her hcild as a reward system (IF that is what is happening) then you can elevate this to other channels and let her know you don't think that's appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s good to remember that second graders aren’t reliable narrators. I’m sure he ate inside but there may be more to it.

Ugh the the relatable narrator phrase 🙄

The OP sounds like she hit the roof before getting the whole story. Her own title is "APS had my 2nd grader...". APS (as a system) was not responsible, this was a teacher decision. So, email the teacher!! Find out what's going on. THEN react. Don't just freak out because of a story your 7 year old told you. He may have it mostly right, but the entire crux on her anger is intent. She may not completely understand the teacher's intentions here. The best way to find those is to talk to the other adults. Once the teacher confirms she is using her hcild as a reward system (IF that is what is happening) then you can elevate this to other channels and let her know you don't think that's appropriate.

OP here--just received a call from the Assistant Principal and SPED aide. Immediately off the bat they stated that it was a decision made on the spot and it was a mistake. They said the staff member didn't know that kids should eat outside on nice days.

I call BS. I'm sorry--that has been the most contentious issue of returning to in person school and if staff don't understand the gravity of the risks that come with that situation and that they are way out of bounds if they think that it is their own discretion to uniquely put a child at risk without the parent's consent or awareness, then I don't even know what to say.

They acknowledged that it is the other child who needs support, and not my child, so, my child will not be singled out in that way going forward and they will modify lunch and recess for the other child as needed.

I described it as APS to indicate which system we were dealing with, but, did not name the school so as to not totally throw them under the bus though I am half tempted to. I emailed the SPED aide and principal immediately upon returning home last evening, so, I didn't wait around stewing over a child's hearsay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, both of my kids were brought into lunch bunches with various kids throughout their elementary years in APS. We were never informed ahead of time, and I never really thought much about them. The kids would mention them in passing, like "Larlo invited me to his lunch bunch today". And yes, we knew that Larlo had some social or emotional issues, but the kids never acted like it was an imposition or that they would have preferred to be with the rest of the kids in the cafeteria. Some kids can't handle the noise/chaos of being around 100 kids at the same time (have you gone to lunch at one of the schools? The noise can be deafening). The lunch bunch is a calmer environment, that can allow more environmentally sensitive kids to have fun and make friends.

Picking up on this, lunch bunch can be a valuable experience for neurotypical kids as well. It helps them learn to communicate and cooperate with people who aren’t just like them, and helps them get to know other kid’s who aren’t just like them so they are less likely to stereotype and exhibit bias toward people later in life. These are good experiences for kids to have, and something they don’t get when their parents freak out over them spending one lunch period sitting with a kid who isn’t just like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s good to remember that second graders aren’t reliable narrators. I’m sure he ate inside but there may be more to it.

Ugh the the relatable narrator phrase 🙄

The OP sounds like she hit the roof before getting the whole story. Her own title is "APS had my 2nd grader...". APS (as a system) was not responsible, this was a teacher decision. So, email the teacher!! Find out what's going on. THEN react. Don't just freak out because of a story your 7 year old told you. He may have it mostly right, but the entire crux on her anger is intent. She may not completely understand the teacher's intentions here. The best way to find those is to talk to the other adults. Once the teacher confirms she is using her hcild as a reward system (IF that is what is happening) then you can elevate this to other channels and let her know you don't think that's appropriate.

OP here--just received a call from the Assistant Principal and SPED aide. Immediately off the bat they stated that it was a decision made on the spot and it was a mistake. They said the staff member didn't know that kids should eat outside on nice days.

I call BS. I'm sorry--that has been the most contentious issue of returning to in person school and if staff don't understand the gravity of the risks that come with that situation and that they are way out of bounds if they think that it is their own discretion to uniquely put a child at risk without the parent's consent or awareness, then I don't even know what to say.

They acknowledged that it is the other child who needs support, and not my child, so, my child will not be singled out in that way going forward and they will modify lunch and recess for the other child as needed.

I described it as APS to indicate which system we were dealing with, but, did not name the school so as to not totally throw them under the bus though I am half tempted to. I emailed the SPED aide and principal immediately upon returning home last evening, so, I didn't wait around stewing over a child's hearsay.

great job making the lives of the school SPED harder, making a SPED kid’s life harder, and probably confusing your kid. Hope you’re happy!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s good to remember that second graders aren’t reliable narrators. I’m sure he ate inside but there may be more to it.

Ugh the the relatable narrator phrase 🙄

The OP sounds like she hit the roof before getting the whole story. Her own title is "APS had my 2nd grader...". APS (as a system) was not responsible, this was a teacher decision. So, email the teacher!! Find out what's going on. THEN react. Don't just freak out because of a story your 7 year old told you. He may have it mostly right, but the entire crux on her anger is intent. She may not completely understand the teacher's intentions here. The best way to find those is to talk to the other adults. Once the teacher confirms she is using her hcild as a reward system (IF that is what is happening) then you can elevate this to other channels and let her know you don't think that's appropriate.

OP here--just received a call from the Assistant Principal and SPED aide. Immediately off the bat they stated that it was a decision made on the spot and it was a mistake. They said the staff member didn't know that kids should eat outside on nice days.

I call BS. I'm sorry--that has been the most contentious issue of returning to in person school and if staff don't understand the gravity of the risks that come with that situation and that they are way out of bounds if they think that it is their own discretion to uniquely put a child at risk without the parent's consent or awareness, then I don't even know what to say.

They acknowledged that it is the other child who needs support, and not my child, so, my child will not be singled out in that way going forward and they will modify lunch and recess for the other child as needed.

I described it as APS to indicate which system we were dealing with, but, did not name the school so as to not totally throw them under the bus though I am half tempted to. I emailed the SPED aide and principal immediately upon returning home last evening, so, I didn't wait around stewing over a child's hearsay.

It is at their discretion, and lunch outside isn't guaranteed. They eat inside when it rains. I expect they'll eat inside when it's really cold out in the winter. All of the kids, together - not just your kid and his friend. They're not going to call you beforehand to make sure that you are okay with their decision for that day.

I say this sincerely - if the lunch thing makes you this anxious and angry that you're lashing out about another student and the teachers, maybe you need to reevaluate if in-person is the right choice for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s good to remember that second graders aren’t reliable narrators. I’m sure he ate inside but there may be more to it.

Ugh the the relatable narrator phrase 🙄

The OP sounds like she hit the roof before getting the whole story. Her own title is "APS had my 2nd grader...". APS (as a system) was not responsible, this was a teacher decision. So, email the teacher!! Find out what's going on. THEN react. Don't just freak out because of a story your 7 year old told you. He may have it mostly right, but the entire crux on her anger is intent. She may not completely understand the teacher's intentions here. The best way to find those is to talk to the other adults. Once the teacher confirms she is using her hcild as a reward system (IF that is what is happening) then you can elevate this to other channels and let her know you don't think that's appropriate.

OP here--just received a call from the Assistant Principal and SPED aide. Immediately off the bat they stated that it was a decision made on the spot and it was a mistake. They said the staff member didn't know that kids should eat outside on nice days.

I call BS. I'm sorry--that has been the most contentious issue of returning to in person school and if staff don't understand the gravity of the risks that come with that situation and that they are way out of bounds if they think that it is their own discretion to uniquely put a child at risk without the parent's consent or awareness, then I don't even know what to say.

They acknowledged that it is the other child who needs support, and not my child, so, my child will not be singled out in that way going forward and they will modify lunch and recess for the other child as needed.

I described it as APS to indicate which system we were dealing with, but, did not name the school so as to not totally throw them under the bus though I am half tempted to. I emailed the SPED aide and principal immediately upon returning home last evening, so, I didn't wait around stewing over a child's hearsay.

great job making the lives of the school SPED harder, making a SPED kid’s life harder, and probably confusing your kid. Hope you’re happy!!!

NP: My kid is in high school now, but we saw this all the time in elementary and middle. Seat the challenging kid next to the good kid for her to model good behavior, which is in itself fine, but then good kid is bothered by challenging kid's behavior and nothing is done. I saw a parent literally pull her kid to private school because she couldn't get the elementary to take her seriously about her "good" kid's frustrations with the challenging kid. In first grade, I chaperoned a trip, and my good kid was paired with 2 kids with challenges who I had to chase around the DC monuments (eventually the teacher stepped in and took one of them out of my group.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash, OP, your kid goes to school with kids who are neurodiverse and need help being friends. Kudos to your son for being kind to this boy and a good example. He clearly didn’t get it from you.

Occasional lunch bunch is fine.

But OP has a history with this kid who has glommed on to her DS and the teachers are using her kid as a crutch to control the SPED kid. Of course her second grader will likely say yes to what their teachers asks, to be “nice” and a “good boy”, but his other relationships may suffer and he already is missing out on outside time.