APS had my second grader eat inside today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with covid and pretty typical. You need to email the principal, school counselor, teacher, etc. and let them know your child will not be used as a reward or forced friendship for this child nor will your child be separated and eat indoors.

Her kid likes this other kid! I agree that she has a right to request her kid is not used as an incentive but I think it may be a bummer for her kid

Fine, he can be friends outside of school. This isn't right.

[Anonymous]

The school cannot separate your child from the class to in effect provide them a break or ways to incentivize his friend.

If it happened on occasion and didn’t bother your child, I’d tell the teacher you don’t expect your son to be separated from the class with just this other child more than once a month or something like that.

I’d also say that just like other kids you assume there will be supervision at all times. No putting them in a classroom alone.

[Anonymous]

wow you are really something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could advocate for the disabled kid to be integrated with the wider community (which is what APS is supposed to be doing) so that both kids can eat outside. Instead, you just show your full a$$.

You're only okay with the other kid when you can use them towards your own ends. I hope the other family reads this and sees that you are pure trash and tells the other parents in your class not to hang out with your precious kid. I'd bet the other kids would love to have lunch with a kid with Beyblades.

This. This right here OP. The kid needs SpED services, not to be separated from their classmates. Your kid is their only friend likely, and you want to take that away from them?

I agree that neither kid should be eating or spending recess inside. This school needs better ways of intervening. This is not the only kid with mental/learning disabilities, and not the first child of this nature they've ever dealt with.

This child was okay in a bubble, not okay when your child can have "normal" friends? Shame on you.

It’s not OPs job to advocate for services for someone else’s child. It is her responsibility to make sure her kid is not isolated from his peers because it makes another kid easier to handle. You’re saying that OPs kid should suck it up and perform only friend duties instead of playing tag outside during recess or sitting with the rest of the class during lunch. The other kid needs help. It is not another child’s job to be that help.

OP here-thank you. This is it exactly. The other child is receiving sped services. I do not wish for my child to be isolated with the sped kid as an incentive for the sped kid because the school has not figured out other ways to effectively discipline or motivate him. And I absolutely hate that they are putting me in this position by permitting these activities without even bothering to speak with us first.

possibly because they didn’t think it was possible you’d be such a giant, self-centered B about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like that your kid is the reward. It puts way too much pressure on him and it's not a healthy dynamic. I'd definitely call the teacher and say you don't want your kid excluded from the class or used as a reward or punishment. You are fine with your kid being a buddy, the SN kid eating with the class, and the kid playing with him at recess if they want, but it's unfair to exclude your child

This. One million percent.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that you guys are okay with a child's presence being a reward for another child who behaves?!

That's crazy!

I would be irate if my kid came home and told me that they weren't allowed to eat outside with the class because Larlo was good and won their presence as a reward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could advocate for the disabled kid to be integrated with the wider community (which is what APS is supposed to be doing) so that both kids can eat outside. Instead, you just show your full a$$.

You're only okay with the other kid when you can use them towards your own ends. I hope the other family reads this and sees that you are pure trash and tells the other parents in your class not to hang out with your precious kid. I'd bet the other kids would love to have lunch with a kid with Beyblades.

This. This right here OP. The kid needs SpED services, not to be separated from their classmates. Your kid is their only friend likely, and you want to take that away from them?

I agree that neither kid should be eating or spending recess inside. This school needs better ways of intervening. This is not the only kid with mental/learning disabilities, and not the first child of this nature they've ever dealt with.

This child was okay in a bubble, not okay when your child can have "normal" friends? Shame on you.

It’s not OPs job to advocate for services for someone else’s child. It is her responsibility to make sure her kid is not isolated from his peers because it makes another kid easier to handle. You’re saying that OPs kid should suck it up and perform only friend duties instead of playing tag outside during recess or sitting with the rest of the class during lunch. The other kid needs help. It is not another child’s job to be that help.

OP here-thank you. This is it exactly. The other child is receiving sped services. I do not wish for my child to be isolated with the sped kid as an incentive for the sped kid because the school has not figured out other ways to effectively discipline or motivate him. And I absolutely hate that they are putting me in this position by permitting these activities without even bothering to speak with us first.

possibly because they didn’t think it was possible you’d be such a giant, self-centered B about it?

'


I advocate for other people's children all the time. Because I care about them too, and want them to succeed. Arlington is so full of self-centered jerks.

[Anonymous]

This isn't about COVID mitigation. Even one kid eating inside could send your kid home for two weeks. Everybody needs to be outside.

This is about you not wanting your precious snowflake to play with the SpED kids. APS is abdicating their responsibility by segregating two children for the sake of one. The other kid needs to be reintegrated back into the classroom activities too.

If you even like the other parents just a little bit, you should talk to them and yell at your principal together about keeping both of your children COVID free.

The other kid needs more supervision and intervention with SpED services. They are not likely intrinsically bad. They just need help from trained adults who exist in the same building. Public schools, by law, must provide children with special needs with the same opportunities for education as other children and they can get into a lot of trouble.

Mentioning FAPE (Free and appropriate public education) will make your administration jump and say when. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

I see OP position and the school. It doesn't sound like SPED is involved and if so not a well trained one. In this case I would suggest that this other child get connected to SPED services in and outside of school including behavior modification therapy. He has emotional regulation issues clearly and if that doesn't get resolved the school may need to reccomend a pull out classroom for the safety of all children involved. OP O think it is not fair your child was asked to sit inside for lunch or recess, whic ever it was. If anything this other child could have been offered positive behavior modification incentives using your DS by giving each child some time to play when classroom work was completed or after each child finished their lunch yours ourside and other child indoors at the counselor office for few minutes per day with your permission of course. Sounds like the school is overwhelmed and pulling at straws here. I'd let them know what they did was not ok,but suggest an alternative. I would
also express fears of safety from the other child and encourage them to explore other support for this child as well. Sometimes if other families express grave concerns to the school this prompts better response.If you just make this about Covid and not overall safety it will be a missed opportunity to help your DS and classmates as well as other child.

[Anonymous]

OP, how does your son feel about it? When my kids school did something similar, it was presented as a “ lunch bunch” and mostly, kids wanted to be chosen. If your son is complaining then absolutely say something. If he is having fun, then perhaps tone down your outrage and ask that they limit this reward to once per week and make sure they ask your son privately if he would like to go that day. Kids should not be put in uncomfortable positions to serve the needs of other kids but nothing OP has written suggests that he kid is unhappy with the situation.

[Anonymous]

Op, was it lunch bunch with the guidance counselor? You'll sound crazy if you go in ranting about having your kid participate in lunch bunch. It's usually a nice program with the counselor and a small group of students who talk about emotional regulation skills and other social skills. Totally different than isolating your kid or using him as an incentive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that you guys are okay with a child's presence being a reward for another child who behaves?!

That's crazy!

I would be irate if my kid came home and told me that they weren't allowed to eat outside with the class because Larlo was good and won their presence as a reward.

It sounds to me like the kid wanted to eat inside with his friend, and was allowed to do so. OP has admitted that the kid is more comfortable with his friend then with the other kids.

OP, how did your kid feel about it? Are you sure he didn’t ask to join his friend? Because it kind of sounds to me like he did. It also sounds like your kid wanted to bring Beyblades in and was told “only if Larlo behaves”. Something in the story is really off, and I suspect it would sound entirely different if either the school or the kid were telling it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, was it lunch bunch with the guidance counselor? You'll sound crazy if you go in ranting about having your kid participate in lunch bunch. It's usually a nice program with the counselor and a small group of students who talk about emotional regulation skills and other social skills. Totally different than isolating your kid or using him as an incentive.

Yes, it sounds like lunch bunch to me. You can opt out.

[Anonymous]

It’s good to remember that second graders aren’t reliable narrators. I’m sure he ate inside but there may be more to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, was it lunch bunch with the guidance counselor? You'll sound crazy if you go in ranting about having your kid participate in lunch bunch. It's usually a nice program with the counselor and a small group of students who talk about emotional regulation skills and other social skills. Totally different than isolating your kid or using him as an incentive.

Yes, it sounds like lunch bunch to me. You can opt out.

I was always notified about lunch Bunch Ahead if time, even before Covid. Sounds like OP was not given a heads up and her child is being used as a behavior mechanism for this other child. That’s what doesn’t sit right.