One Spouse Who Spends Money
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
A theme dies not usually create the expense. Butterfly sheets vs solids are not where you are spending extra. It is the crib and all the baby equipment ...stroller carseat nigh chair |
Anonymous
Here’s what’s bothering me about your post, OP. Buying necessary household items is actually a chore. I spent the time and effort researching and buying a blender, set of pans, etc because they were needed by the household. Not needed by *me.* This spending is more like her buying paper towels and toilet paper than it is like her splurging on high-end jeans. If she’s the only one spending money on maintaining household needs, it just means you didn’t do your part in maintaining the needs of the household. It does sound like she spent more than a more frugal person would have to outfit your home, but if you wanted to shop frugally for dishware you should have stepped up and handled it. |
Anonymous
+1. I do nearly all of the spending in our house because I manage the household. I buy food and clothes and furniture and sign kids up for activities and get the carpet cleaned and the piano tuned. If you are unhappy with how much she is spending then you should have a conversation about it, but otherwise, just be glad that she is willing to take it on. I would be kind of resentful if DH referred to me as the “spender,” and himself as the “saver.” |
Anonymous
Troll |
Anonymous
I think that poster meant that “expensive” would be the theme, not that it costs a lot of money to have a theme. Rather expensive theme= whatever you buy for the nursery/baby will cost a lot more than baby/nursery items should so in the end you’ll have a theme but it won’t be animals or rainbows or baseball or whatever…itll be a $$$ crib, a $$$ glider, etc. Of the same type…we joked that my baby’s nursery’s theme was “IKEA” |
Anonymous
|
DW (not the OP's) and the spender in the partnership.
I buy everything. My DH happily states that he buys nothing. But what that means is I buy everything for the entire house, him included - his work pants are wearing out, I get him to new ones (not right away, I wait until he expresses that they are wearing out and he should get new ones which is probably way past the point of being replaced). I buy all the grocery items, I cook so I decide what household appliances I need (and at our current income, which ones I want to splurge on). I do 70% of the kid activity sign ups and payments, make sure they have the right supplies, etc. I don't mind, it's how we have divided labor. He has a lot of responsibilities for the family that I don't want. Mine just tend to involve spending our money and his do not. It took him a long time to be able to spend any money on himself just because he wanted it and we could afford it and it would bring him joy but he does now so I do it a little less for him. Together, we spend less than we can afford to, are saving tons of money, and are generally on the same page financially. That said, I wouldn't spend more than $1k at a time without at least telling him that I was and why, even knowing he'd be fine with it. It's not a frictionless arrangement but it is what works for us most of the time. A note for OP, she's going to spend way too much on your first baby. Yes, you will end up with a themed nursery. It's fine. It happens to all of us - you get wrapped up in the best for your kid even if some of it ends up being a waste. You'll spend even more at 2am when that baby won't sleep. |
Anonymous
I think this is a troll. He has posted about this before. Come on-an instant pot is like $90. |
Anonymous
Agree. Plus it sounds like a woman |
Anonymous
| Op, yes of course many of us deal with a spouse with different spending habits, you are not alone, that's for sure. Neither me or my spouse overspend drastically but like in your case, what we spend on in discretionary spending are different things. He will spend on good wine, cigars, coffee, hobbies, etc. I don't spend on any of those things and the wine and cigars used to really bug me. But then I thought about it and realized, the guy works his ass off, it's his money too and these are his pleasures. We can have different interests as long as we stay on track with broader goals. If she is using what she bought and you benefit from the great meals and new supplies...try to let it go. Try to pick your battles and listen to her perspective. |