One Spouse Who Spends Money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, was this on appliances or kitchenware? Honestly, $8K is pretty normal for appliances. A good double door fridge would cost $2500.

He already said no. It was on dishes, silverware, cookware, blender. Not really sure how you would blow through 8k on that. Maybe she bought a sterling set.

If she bought stainless steel, she probably bought All Clad. That brand is super expensive and adds up.

I have an all clad set. It is was around $700. Expensive yes, but not thousands of dollars. Did she buy a huge copper set made in France?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll marry you and not spend your money on dumb shit. I would not be okay with this because we’d need to be on the same page. We spend a lot and I mean a lot of money on art and furniture and we always agree and consult with each other. Ugh If you have kids is she going to have a 50K nursery?

She always has the PBK set she wants picked out.

OP here. We are trying for a baby and have been looking at these things together. All of our friends warned us against PBK because they said the quality is very cheap. She really likes the Babyletto cribs her friends have.

Omg, you must be a troll.

OP here. How am I a troll?

How is OP a Troll. I know 10 couple friends who had babies in the last 3 years. At least 8 of them bought a Babyletto crib. Those cribs are very popular. I also looked at baby stuff while trying to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll marry you and not spend your money on dumb shit. I would not be okay with this because we’d need to be on the same page. We spend a lot and I mean a lot of money on art and furniture and we always agree and consult with each other. Ugh If you have kids is she going to have a 50K nursery?

She always has the PBK set she wants picked out.

OP here. We are trying for a baby and have been looking at these things together. All of our friends warned us against PBK because they said the quality is very cheap. She really likes the Babyletto cribs her friends have.

PBK sells babyletto. They are the cheapest cribs they have.

Babyletto is sold on the site but is not owned by the same brand as PBK. Babyletto is much better quality than PBK.

It is a $300 crib made in China. I’m sure it is fine and does the job, but let’s not pretend it is some high quality piece of craftsman made furniture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, was this on appliances or kitchenware? Honestly, $8K is pretty normal for appliances. A good double door fridge would cost $2500.

He already said no. It was on dishes, silverware, cookware, blender. Not really sure how you would blow through 8k on that. Maybe she bought a sterling set.

If she bought stainless steel, she probably bought All Clad. That brand is super expensive and adds up.

I have an all clad set. It is was around $700. Expensive yes, but not thousands of dollars. Did she buy a huge copper set made in France?

OP here. She bought everything from Crate & Barrel.

- New cookware that I think is Clad Ware or something for like $1500. She bought a roasting pan, bakeware set, and stainless steel spatulas and those other claw things from the same company.
- All new food storage is Pyrex glass. Lots of them.
- All new dishes, drinks, silverware, etc.
- New blender, food processor, kitchen aid mixer, etc.
- New wine glasses

Most brands are that clad ware, la creusest, and kitchen aid.

We didn’t have many of the things she bought because we never cooked. We ate out for almost meal or got something that was quick and easy. She has been taking cooking lessons online and has started cooking. She bought a bunch of things for the house that we didn’t have and that she felt she would need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll marry you and not spend your money on dumb shit. I would not be okay with this because we’d need to be on the same page. We spend a lot and I mean a lot of money on art and furniture and we always agree and consult with each other. Ugh If you have kids is she going to have a 50K nursery?

She always has the PBK set she wants picked out.

OP here. We are trying for a baby and have been looking at these things together. All of our friends warned us against PBK because they said the quality is very cheap. She really likes the Babyletto cribs her friends have.

PBK sells babyletto. They are the cheapest cribs they have.

Babyletto is sold on the site but is not owned by the same brand as PBK. Babyletto is much better quality than PBK.

It is a $300 crib made in China. I’m sure it is fine and does the job, but let’s not pretend it is some high quality piece of craftsman made furniture.

+1. Most cribs today’s are made in China or foreign countries. If you want America made, Room and Board sells two that are made of real made in upstate

https://www.roomandboard.com/m/catalog/kids/cribs/aster-crib

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll marry you and not spend your money on dumb shit. I would not be okay with this because we’d need to be on the same page. We spend a lot and I mean a lot of money on art and furniture and we always agree and consult with each other. Ugh If you have kids is she going to have a 50K nursery?

She always has the PBK set she wants picked out.

OP here. We are trying for a baby and have been looking at these things together. All of our friends warned us against PBK because they said the quality is very cheap. She really likes the Babyletto cribs her friends have.

PBK sells babyletto. They are the cheapest cribs they have.

Babyletto is sold on the site but is not owned by the same brand as PBK. Babyletto is much better quality than PBK.

It is a $300 crib made in China. I’m sure it is fine and does the job, but let’s not pretend it is some high quality piece of craftsman made furniture.

PBK is also cheap crap made in a foreign country. I would rather spend less on a crib that will be used for a couple of years than buy a PBK crib.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll marry you and not spend your money on dumb shit. I would not be okay with this because we’d need to be on the same page. We spend a lot and I mean a lot of money on art and furniture and we always agree and consult with each other. Ugh If you have kids is she going to have a 50K nursery?

She always has the PBK set she wants picked out.

OP here. We are trying for a baby and have been looking at these things together. All of our friends warned us against PBK because they said the quality is very cheap. She really likes the Babyletto cribs her friends have.

PBK sells babyletto. They are the cheapest cribs they have.

Babyletto is sold on the site but is not owned by the same brand as PBK. Babyletto is much better quality than PBK.

It is a $300 crib made in China. I’m sure it is fine and does the job, but let’s not pretend it is some high quality piece of craftsman made furniture.

+1. Most cribs today’s are made in China or foreign countries. If you want America made, Room and Board sells two that are made of real made in upstate

https://www.roomandboard.com/m/catalog/kids/cribs/aster-crib

That’s a nice crib.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, was this on appliances or kitchenware? Honestly, $8K is pretty normal for appliances. A good double door fridge would cost $2500.

He already said no. It was on dishes, silverware, cookware, blender. Not really sure how you would blow through 8k on that. Maybe she bought a sterling set.

If she bought stainless steel, she probably bought All Clad. That brand is super expensive and adds up.

I have an all clad set. It is was around $700. Expensive yes, but not thousands of dollars. Did she buy a huge copper set made in France?

OP here. She bought everything from Crate & Barrel.

- New cookware that I think is Clad Ware or something for like $1500. She bought a roasting pan, bakeware set, and stainless steel spatulas and those other claw things from the same company.
- All new food storage is Pyrex glass. Lots of them.
- All new dishes, drinks, silverware, etc.
- New blender, food processor, kitchen aid mixer, etc.
- New wine glasses

Most brands are that clad ware, la creusest, and kitchen aid.

We didn’t have many of the things she bought because we never cooked. We ate out for almost meal or got something that was quick and easy. She has been taking cooking lessons online and has started cooking. She bought a bunch of things for the house that we didn’t have and that she felt she would need.

You clearly can afford it, it made her happy and you didn't have any of it. Where is the issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll marry you and not spend your money on dumb shit. I would not be okay with this because we’d need to be on the same page. We spend a lot and I mean a lot of money on art and furniture and we always agree and consult with each other. Ugh If you have kids is she going to have a 50K nursery?

She always has the PBK set she wants picked out.

OP here. We are trying for a baby and have been looking at these things together. All of our friends warned us against PBK because they said the quality is very cheap. She really likes the Babyletto cribs her friends have.

PBK sells babyletto. They are the cheapest cribs they have.

Babyletto is sold on the site but is not owned by the same brand as PBK. Babyletto is much better quality than PBK.

It is a $300 crib made in China. I’m sure it is fine and does the job, but let’s not pretend it is some high quality piece of craftsman made furniture.

PBK is also cheap crap made in a foreign country. I would rather spend less on a crib that will be used for a couple of years than buy a PBK crib.

Agree, even better, get a used one from a friend/family member.

[Anonymous]

Many years ago when dh and I were in premarital counseling. We were told to decide how much we could spend without consulting the other one. It’s a good idea to have a shared understanding of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, was this on appliances or kitchenware? Honestly, $8K is pretty normal for appliances. A good double door fridge would cost $2500.

He already said no. It was on dishes, silverware, cookware, blender. Not really sure how you would blow through 8k on that. Maybe she bought a sterling set.

If she bought stainless steel, she probably bought All Clad. That brand is super expensive and adds up.

I have an all clad set. It is was around $700. Expensive yes, but not thousands of dollars. Did she buy a huge copper set made in France?

OP here. She bought everything from Crate & Barrel.

- New cookware that I think is Clad Ware or something for like $1500. She bought a roasting pan, bakeware set, and stainless steel spatulas and those other claw things from the same company.
- All new food storage is Pyrex glass. Lots of them.
- All new dishes, drinks, silverware, etc.
- New blender, food processor, kitchen aid mixer, etc.
- New wine glasses

Most brands are that clad ware, la creusest, and kitchen aid.

We didn’t have many of the things she bought because we never cooked. We ate out for almost meal or got something that was quick and easy. She has been taking cooking lessons online and has started cooking. She bought a bunch of things for the house that we didn’t have and that she felt she would need.

My husband I and did the same thing when we bought a condo. I bought everything new and we spent about $50k between cosmetics changes, furnishing, and new kitchen items. Those things will last you for years. I cook everyday and all of the things we bought get used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, was this on appliances or kitchenware? Honestly, $8K is pretty normal for appliances. A good double door fridge would cost $2500.

He already said no. It was on dishes, silverware, cookware, blender. Not really sure how you would blow through 8k on that. Maybe she bought a sterling set.

If she bought stainless steel, she probably bought All Clad. That brand is super expensive and adds up.

I have an all clad set. It is was around $700. Expensive yes, but not thousands of dollars. Did she buy a huge copper set made in France?

OP here. She bought everything from Crate & Barrel.

- New cookware that I think is Clad Ware or something for like $1500. She bought a roasting pan, bakeware set, and stainless steel spatulas and those other claw things from the same company.
- All new food storage is Pyrex glass. Lots of them.
- All new dishes, drinks, silverware, etc.
- New blender, food processor, kitchen aid mixer, etc.
- New wine glasses

Most brands are that clad ware, la creusest, and kitchen aid.

We didn’t have many of the things she bought because we never cooked. We ate out for almost meal or got something that was quick and easy. She has been taking cooking lessons online and has started cooking. She bought a bunch of things for the house that we didn’t have and that she felt she would need.

OP, you also said that $8k included a fridge so that’s like $3k right there. A blender is $500.

CB and barely a step up from IKEA, it’s not like she is getting outrageous items. If you cook, the quality is worlds better with all clad an Le cruset. We have had both for a decade and use them every day.

Having a spending limit is okay, but she could have just spread these out and kept under the limit, none of this is ridiculous amounts.

It’s clear you make most of the money, you both can afford this, but resent her outfitting your house with basic grown up house wears. Would you prefer she shop at Target or IKEA?

A $300 crib is hardly expensive. Do you really not spend any money for home electronics, sports equipment, hobbies, or tools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you had old appliances and she choose to buy new ones? How is this an issue or complaint?

8k worth of appliances? I think OP isn’t talking about stove or microwave.

A basic range is $1K, anything better is $2-4K. Fridge is $1500-3K. Plus, dishwasher, microwave, and installation.

OP here. It was not appliances. She upgraded everything like cookware, dishes, glasses, silverware, baking dishes, etc. She got everything in stainless steel and glass. She bought big items like blender, food processor, instant pot, etc. We didn’t have any of those appliances and a lot of our cookware and dishes were old. She has been taking cooking classes and has started getting into cooking.

We didn’t upgrade any of the house appliances like microwave, oven, or dishwasher because they are brand new. We did buy a new refrigerator.

Okay new fridge is $3k right there. A good blender is $500. Same with instant pot and food processor.

I mean it adds up but it’s really stuff for the whole family. I assume you are breadwinner and she is a SAHM?

OP here. We both work and we don’t have kids.

But you make more money right?

OP here. That doesn’t matter. I’m correcting PP about what she bought but I said the 8k spent didn’t matter because we have the money. There is no question or venting. I’m just sharing to see if other posters have this same struggle or one partner spending more than the other.

No struggle. We each spend the exact same amount each month, every time he uses the credit card I get notified and the I buy something odd Amazon for that exact same amount. /s

[Anonymous]

Planning the wedding must have been fun with OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is the spender in our relationship and I am the saver. I think what bothers me most is that every now and then I'd like to splurge on myself, but I never do because he's always splurging. If we had enough money for both of us to do this it wouldn't bother me, but we don't.

+1