For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing is odd.

It’s strange for a 50 or 60 year old man to want to start over with babies. As a woman I was barely interested in stroller shopping and nursery planning for baby #2. I don’t understand why a 60 year old would be up for doing this again at an old age.

I also can’t imagine why any young woman with options would want to sign up for a marriage with someone old enough to be their dad.

It makes me think there is something very wrong with the woman. I assume the man is simply after sex with someone younger.

It’s more often men in their late forties or early fifties who want to remarry and have more kids. Usually they’re very wealthy. It’s not just about sex because that’s easy to find without having to start a family. They want a young, beautiful wife and a young family. In more modern examples, they end up with intellectual peers as well - women with an md, jd or mba. There are a few successful, long lasting families like this where the man is very committed to his new family and very rich. It’s what he chose and he’s committed. The rest are total disasters - the men end up disappointing everyone. His young wife leaves him because he doesn’t have enough time or money for her and he’s old on top of it all. His adult kids hate him. He ends up broke after two divorces.

From what I have observed first family kids have been the most messed up.
Turbulent marriage, a vindictive mother, entitled kids treating dad like a check boom.
Second kids have a better relationship with their dads, more attention and a better quality of life.
First wife is jealous of second because she seems to think second has stolen the life she should have had. Passes this nonsense onto kids and that's why so many adult children here are crying about inheritance.
Maybe should have worked harder on your marriage when you had him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear, Americans are all mentally sick. This is nothing new, it's been happening for forever, and in the old times usually because the 1st wife died during childbirth.
You are an independent adult with your own life, money, SO, friends, career, and interests. Your dad moved on, has a new life, and it's his choice to have more kids. Your feelings are irrelevant - European here from a family with no divorces or second families. It's also SO weird to vacation with your parents. No wonder you have such incredibly messed up family lives.

That’s f**** up.

No, it's not. Your dad has the right to be happy and it's not fair for you to demand that he spends the rest of his life miserable and alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing is odd.

It’s strange for a 50 or 60 year old man to want to start over with babies. As a woman I was barely interested in stroller shopping and nursery planning for baby #2. I don’t understand why a 60 year old would be up for doing this again at an old age.

I also can’t imagine why any young woman with options would want to sign up for a marriage with someone old enough to be their dad.

It makes me think there is something very wrong with the woman. I assume the man is simply after sex with someone younger.

It’s more often men in their late forties or early fifties who want to remarry and have more kids. Usually they’re very wealthy. It’s not just about sex because that’s easy to find without having to start a family. They want a young, beautiful wife and a young family. In more modern examples, they end up with intellectual peers as well - women with an md, jd or mba. There are a few successful, long lasting families like this where the man is very committed to his new family and very rich. It’s what he chose and he’s committed. The rest are total disasters - the men end up disappointing everyone. His young wife leaves him because he doesn’t have enough time or money for her and he’s old on top of it all. His adult kids hate him. He ends up broke after two divorces.

From what I have observed first family kids have been the most messed up.
Turbulent marriage, a vindictive mother, entitled kids treating dad like a check boom.
Second kids have a better relationship with their dads, more attention and a better quality of life.
First wife is jealous of second because she seems to think second has stolen the life she should have had. Passes this nonsense onto kids and that's why so many adult children here are crying about inheritance.
Maybe should have worked harder on your marriage when you had him

Nah. This is all second wife cope. Everyone knows the dad is to blame for bailing on their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

I’m not at all bitter? I come from parents with a long and happy marriage, and have been happily married myself for over twenty years. None of my siblings are divorced, my husband’s siblings aren’t married. I mean there is nothing for me to be bitter about, I guess. But what I am saying is that over the years I’ve known several families in this situation and universally the kids in the second family are messed up. Sorry my reality bothers you so much but I am only reporting on what I’ve seen play out multiple times.

How old are your kids? You sound super defensive and I have to guess it’s because your kids are still young.

Crazy, your reality. Usually the first round kids have abandonment and daddy issues, entitlement issues, failure to launch issues, etc. It's all over this thread.

Abandonment issues because their dads… abandoned them? Wow what winners you later wives are scooping up. But I’m sure he won’t do it you you. Men never discard the mothers of their children for younger prettier women *twice.*

You know this can happen to you, too, right? It wouldn’t be the first time a same-aged husband cheats on his menopausal 45 yo wife with a 20-something. Life happens.

And? My identity isn’t wrapped around being validated by men’s . I have a great career, great kids, great life. As it happens my husband and I are happily and deeply in love, but if it should come to pass, I’ll enjoy many wine tastings in Spain with my kids. And my sister. And frankly also my ex MIL because DH comes from a culture that is very harsh to men who abandon their family. My cousin-in-law was disowned by my husband’s aunt and uncle and they bought a house for his ex wife and grandkids adjacent to their estate.

Lol fantasy world

? You really think it’s a fantasy to not make male validation your identity? Dream bigger sweetheart!

It’s a fantasy world you think his family will be on your side. You are cray cray.

And if your identity is not wrapped up in your husband, why do you care how much time he spends with his adult children?

??? My husband is 37. His oldest child is my 10 yr old.

Then, why are you posting on a thread about man with a 20 year old children?

Because my dad did this twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

I’m not at all bitter? I come from parents with a long and happy marriage, and have been happily married myself for over twenty years. None of my siblings are divorced, my husband’s siblings aren’t married. I mean there is nothing for me to be bitter about, I guess. But what I am saying is that over the years I’ve known several families in this situation and universally the kids in the second family are messed up. Sorry my reality bothers you so much but I am only reporting on what I’ve seen play out multiple times.

How old are your kids? You sound super defensive and I have to guess it’s because your kids are still young.

Crazy, your reality. Usually the first round kids have abandonment and daddy issues, entitlement issues, failure to launch issues, etc. It's all over this thread.

Abandonment issues because their dads… abandoned them? Wow what winners you later wives are scooping up. But I’m sure he won’t do it you you. Men never discard the mothers of their children for younger prettier women *twice.*

You know this can happen to you, too, right? It wouldn’t be the first time a same-aged husband cheats on his menopausal 45 yo wife with a 20-something. Life happens.

And? My identity isn’t wrapped around being validated by men’s . I have a great career, great kids, great life. As it happens my husband and I are happily and deeply in love, but if it should come to pass, I’ll enjoy many wine tastings in Spain with my kids. And my sister. And frankly also my ex MIL because DH comes from a culture that is very harsh to men who abandon their family. My cousin-in-law was disowned by my husband’s aunt and uncle and they bought a house for his ex wife and grandkids adjacent to their estate.

Lol fantasy world

? You really think it’s a fantasy to not make male validation your identity? Dream bigger sweetheart!

It’s a fantasy world you think his family will be on your side. You are cray cray.

And if your identity is not wrapped up in your husband, why do you care how much time he spends with his adult children?

??? My husband is 37. His oldest child is my 10 yr old.

Then, why are you posting on a thread about man with a 20 year old children?

Because deep down she's scared she will get replaced when her husband realizes she's a greedy gold digger

Sounds like projection. My husband and I are both professionally successful. We have both done an amazing job of breaking the cycles our Boomer parents created.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing is odd.

It’s strange for a 50 or 60 year old man to want to start over with babies. As a woman I was barely interested in stroller shopping and nursery planning for baby #2. I don’t understand why a 60 year old would be up for doing this again at an old age.

I also can’t imagine why any young woman with options would want to sign up for a marriage with someone old enough to be their dad.

It makes me think there is something very wrong with the woman. I assume the man is simply after sex with someone younger.

It’s more often men in their late forties or early fifties who want to remarry and have more kids. Usually they’re very wealthy. It’s not just about sex because that’s easy to find without having to start a family. They want a young, beautiful wife and a young family. In more modern examples, they end up with intellectual peers as well - women with an md, jd or mba. There are a few successful, long lasting families like this where the man is very committed to his new family and very rich. It’s what he chose and he’s committed. The rest are total disasters - the men end up disappointing everyone. His young wife leaves him because he doesn’t have enough time or money for her and he’s old on top of it all. His adult kids hate him. He ends up broke after two divorces.

I disagree with this. Even for an attractive successful man in his 50s, it’s relatively hard to find sex. A successful man is busy working and doing the things he needs to do to be successful. It’s not like he’s going to get on Tinder. The best way for a man of that age to secure sex is to get married to someone younger. It’s a lot of work to completely get back on the dating market to find sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing is odd.

It’s strange for a 50 or 60 year old man to want to start over with babies. As a woman I was barely interested in stroller shopping and nursery planning for baby #2. I don’t understand why a 60 year old would be up for doing this again at an old age.

I also can’t imagine why any young woman with options would want to sign up for a marriage with someone old enough to be their dad.

It makes me think there is something very wrong with the woman. I assume the man is simply after sex with someone younger.

It’s more often men in their late forties or early fifties who want to remarry and have more kids. Usually they’re very wealthy. It’s not just about sex because that’s easy to find without having to start a family. They want a young, beautiful wife and a young family. In more modern examples, they end up with intellectual peers as well - women with an md, jd or mba. There are a few successful, long lasting families like this where the man is very committed to his new family and very rich. It’s what he chose and he’s committed. The rest are total disasters - the men end up disappointing everyone. His young wife leaves him because he doesn’t have enough time or money for her and he’s old on top of it all. His adult kids hate him. He ends up broke after two divorces.

From what I have observed first family kids have been the most messed up.
Turbulent marriage, a vindictive mother, entitled kids treating dad like a check boom.
Second kids have a better relationship with their dads, more attention and a better quality of life.
First wife is jealous of second because she seems to think second has stolen the life she should have had. Passes this nonsense onto kids and that's why so many adult children here are crying about inheritance.
Maybe should have worked harder on your marriage when you had him

Nah. This is all second wife cope. Everyone knows the dad is to blame for bailing on their kids.

No they are nor. Moms can poison the well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife. My husband’s children in their 30’s decided we were just a bank. My DH did the best he could to stay in touch. They didn’t see him before he died of stage 4 cancer. Yet, they were shocked he left me his entire estate. We commingled a lot of money.

Parents have the relationship they earn. You people don’t even realize you’re telling on yourself with these stories.

Parents' job is done when their kids become adults. The adult children should earn the relationship now.

LOL! I’m loving watching the inner workings of the evil stepmother mind. It must feel so good to air out all these weak rationalizations in private. After all if you said this BS in public all your friends would have a group chat tearing you apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing is odd.

It’s strange for a 50 or 60 year old man to want to start over with babies. As a woman I was barely interested in stroller shopping and nursery planning for baby #2. I don’t understand why a 60 year old would be up for doing this again at an old age.

I also can’t imagine why any young woman with options would want to sign up for a marriage with someone old enough to be their dad.

It makes me think there is something very wrong with the woman. I assume the man is simply after sex with someone younger.

It’s more often men in their late forties or early fifties who want to remarry and have more kids. Usually they’re very wealthy. It’s not just about sex because that’s easy to find without having to start a family. They want a young, beautiful wife and a young family. In more modern examples, they end up with intellectual peers as well - women with an md, jd or mba. There are a few successful, long lasting families like this where the man is very committed to his new family and very rich. It’s what he chose and he’s committed. The rest are total disasters - the men end up disappointing everyone. His young wife leaves him because he doesn’t have enough time or money for her and he’s old on top of it all. His adult kids hate him. He ends up broke after two divorces.

I disagree with this. Even for an attractive successful man in his 50s, it’s relatively hard to find sex. A successful man is busy working and doing the things he needs to do to be successful. It’s not like he’s going to get on Tinder. The best way for a man of that age to secure sex is to get married to someone younger. It’s a lot of work to completely get back on the dating market to find sex.

Ridiculous not true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing is odd.

It’s strange for a 50 or 60 year old man to want to start over with babies. As a woman I was barely interested in stroller shopping and nursery planning for baby #2. I don’t understand why a 60 year old would be up for doing this again at an old age.

I also can’t imagine why any young woman with options would want to sign up for a marriage with someone old enough to be their dad.

It makes me think there is something very wrong with the woman. I assume the man is simply after sex with someone younger.

It’s more often men in their late forties or early fifties who want to remarry and have more kids. Usually they’re very wealthy. It’s not just about sex because that’s easy to find without having to start a family. They want a young, beautiful wife and a young family. In more modern examples, they end up with intellectual peers as well - women with an md, jd or mba. There are a few successful, long lasting families like this where the man is very committed to his new family and very rich. It’s what he chose and he’s committed. The rest are total disasters - the men end up disappointing everyone. His young wife leaves him because he doesn’t have enough time or money for her and he’s old on top of it all. His adult kids hate him. He ends up broke after two divorces.

From what I have observed first family kids have been the most messed up.
Turbulent marriage, a vindictive mother, entitled kids treating dad like a check boom.
Second kids have a better relationship with their dads, more attention and a better quality of life.
First wife is jealous of second because she seems to think second has stolen the life she should have had. Passes this nonsense onto kids and that's why so many adult children here are crying about inheritance.
Maybe should have worked harder on your marriage when you had him

Nah. This is all second wife cope. Everyone knows the dad is to blame for bailing on their kids.

No they are nor. Moms can poison the well.

Nope. Dads who step up and take their 50% never end up in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife. My husband’s children in their 30’s decided we were just a bank. My DH did the best he could to stay in touch. They didn’t see him before he died of stage 4 cancer. Yet, they were shocked he left me his entire estate. We commingled a lot of money.

Parents have the relationship they earn. You people don’t even realize you’re telling on yourself with these stories.

Parents' job is done when their kids become adults. The adult children should earn the relationship now.

LOL! I’m loving watching the inner workings of the evil stepmother mind. It must feel so good to air out all these weak rationalizations in private. After all if you said this BS in public all your friends would have a group chat tearing you apart.

First wife response - typical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This thread is disgusting. The adult children should be independent instead of looking for inheritance. The 2nd wives should marry their peer instead of some old men - looking at Murdoch makes me want to puke.

This is true but most adult children in this thread aren’t even talking about inheritance. They’re just taking about a normal happy adult child-parent relationship. Which deranged second moms are calling “incestuous.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

I’m not at all bitter? I come from parents with a long and happy marriage, and have been happily married myself for over twenty years. None of my siblings are divorced, my husband’s siblings aren’t married. I mean there is nothing for me to be bitter about, I guess. But what I am saying is that over the years I’ve known several families in this situation and universally the kids in the second family are messed up. Sorry my reality bothers you so much but I am only reporting on what I’ve seen play out multiple times.

How old are your kids? You sound super defensive and I have to guess it’s because your kids are still young.

Crazy, your reality. Usually the first round kids have abandonment and daddy issues, entitlement issues, failure to launch issues, etc. It's all over this thread.

Abandonment issues because their dads… abandoned them? Wow what winners you later wives are scooping up. But I’m sure he won’t do it you you. Men never discard the mothers of their children for younger prettier women *twice.*

You know this can happen to you, too, right? It wouldn’t be the first time a same-aged husband cheats on his menopausal 45 yo wife with a 20-something. Life happens.

And? My identity isn’t wrapped around being validated by men’s . I have a great career, great kids, great life. As it happens my husband and I are happily and deeply in love, but if it should come to pass, I’ll enjoy many wine tastings in Spain with my kids. And my sister. And frankly also my ex MIL because DH comes from a culture that is very harsh to men who abandon their family. My cousin-in-law was disowned by my husband’s aunt and uncle and they bought a house for his ex wife and grandkids adjacent to their estate.

Lol fantasy world

? You really think it’s a fantasy to not make male validation your identity? Dream bigger sweetheart!

It’s a fantasy world you think his family will be on your side. You are cray cray.

And if your identity is not wrapped up in your husband, why do you care how much time he spends with his adult children?

??? My husband is 37. His oldest child is my 10 yr old.

Then, why are you posting on a thread about man with a 20 year old children?

Because my dad did this twice.

Well now we know how badly that turned out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife. My husband’s children in their 30’s decided we were just a bank. My DH did the best he could to stay in touch. They didn’t see him before he died of stage 4 cancer. Yet, they were shocked he left me his entire estate. We commingled a lot of money.

Parents have the relationship they earn. You people don’t even realize you’re telling on yourself with these stories.

Parents' job is done when their kids become adults. The adult children should earn the relationship now.

LOL! I’m loving watching the inner workings of the evil stepmother mind. It must feel so good to air out all these weak rationalizations in private. After all if you said this BS in public all your friends would have a group chat tearing you apart.

First wife response - typical

You mean only wife?

I’m honestly not mad at my stepmoms at all. I feel sad for them. My dad churned & burned them. But I do wonder if they were huffing this kind of copium at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of thing is odd.

It’s strange for a 50 or 60 year old man to want to start over with babies. As a woman I was barely interested in stroller shopping and nursery planning for baby #2. I don’t understand why a 60 year old would be up for doing this again at an old age.

I also can’t imagine why any young woman with options would want to sign up for a marriage with someone old enough to be their dad.

It makes me think there is something very wrong with the woman. I assume the man is simply after sex with someone younger.

It’s more often men in their late forties or early fifties who want to remarry and have more kids. Usually they’re very wealthy. It’s not just about sex because that’s easy to find without having to start a family. They want a young, beautiful wife and a young family. In more modern examples, they end up with intellectual peers as well - women with an md, jd or mba. There are a few successful, long lasting families like this where the man is very committed to his new family and very rich. It’s what he chose and he’s committed. The rest are total disasters - the men end up disappointing everyone. His young wife leaves him because he doesn’t have enough time or money for her and he’s old on top of it all. His adult kids hate him. He ends up broke after two divorces.

I disagree with this. Even for an attractive successful man in his 50s, it’s relatively hard to find sex. A successful man is busy working and doing the things he needs to do to be successful. It’s not like he’s going to get on Tinder. The best way for a man of that age to secure sex is to get married to someone younger. It’s a lot of work to completely get back on the dating market to find sex.

Ridiculous not true

It’s not true that most successful 50 year olds don’t want to join Tinder or hangout at bars to find sex?