Found out my son is not mine
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Anonymous
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I don't even know where to post this...
Found out today that my son is not mine. Very long story short... I dated a woman for about a year and things were very rocky, I was going to end it and then found out she was pregnant so we stayed together for another two years to try and raise our son together. Broke up with her after I found out she cheated on me and there was a possibility that my son was not mine biologically. Just found out today that he is biologically not my son. I love him with all my heart but I don't know what to do. The mother wants to get back together and work things out, but I'm so torn. Should I stay in my son's life? He is 2.5 years old now and if I leave his life now, he probably won't remember me and will be able to live his life drama free with his biological dad. The biological dad BTW is a great guy besides sleeping with my ex and wants to be in my son's life. |
Anonymous
| Why do you love this woman? You are not married, the child isn't yours and the biological father wants to be the father. I would leave. Sorry, terrible situation. |
Anonymous
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Wow. What a messy situation. I'm so sorry, OP. Despite your emotional turmoil, I think you need to consult a lawyer ASAP on what that means for your financial obligations to this child as well as your parental rights. |
Anonymous
Op, so sorry, this must be terrible for you  First, do check with an attorney, you have to do this for yourself. Second, he is very young and should you decide to step away, do it gradually so as not to stress him too much. Don't spend time with your ex and his father, this will kill you emotionally. You sound like a great, upstanding guy and I promise you, this will get better, it will. Someone with your kind heart will always win in the end. Good luck 
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Anonymous
| Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. |
Anonymous
| How much contact have you had with your son? How often do you see him? |
Anonymous
| Legally you may be stuck and have to pay child support. You need to talk to an attorney. Why would you want to be with someone who repeatedly cheats on you? |
Anonymous
This is a scary yet possible outcome. If you haven't been paying support (because you were/are living together) and just now got paternity results, it's time to bail. Did you sign the birth certificate? Swear to paternity (DC requirement for unmarried)? If not, walk away NOW. If you did, move out and get a lawyer. Do not waste time here. Find a good woman, have a wonderful family. |
Anonymous
| Dude, move to a foreign country and never send a penny to the cheating whore and her bastard spawn. |
Anonymous
| Run, don't walk |
LastAcorn99
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| I’m so sorry. I can only imagine your hurt and confusion. It’s so touching to see how concerned you are for your son’s well-being despite this revelation. This is a difficult situation that needs to be dealt with carefully, and I would suggest that you seek out the help of a counselor. I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Sending you prayers. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry, OP.
You just found out. Give yourself a few days before you make any decisions. And definitely consult a lawyer. If you do decide to back away (understandable IMO) try to do it gradually. He's 2.5, you're right that he won't remember you. The process could be confusing, though. Out of curiosity, do you know what his biological father thinks of you being in the boy's life? I'm wondering if you may end up pushed out regardless of what you want. |
Anonymous
| This child is yours, OP, in every way that matters. Don't leave him. |
Anonymous
| I couldn't leave a child I loved, can you become more if an uncle type figure? You and the bio dad gradually switch roles...... |
Anonymous
This. OP, you must be crazy to entertain any other option. Don't refer to the child as your son. He is not. He has a father who is willing to step in. This whole thing sucks, but man up and cut your losses here. Go find a woman who will have children with you. |