Found out my son is not mine

[Anonymous]

Family comes about in all sorts of ways. If this is your son (in your heart, where it matters), then make arrangements that will allow you the joy of raising him.

Paternity is decided by a signature on the birth certificate, not biology. Did you sign? Then you are this child's father. There are lots of bio-dads who play uncle to their children, while others parent.

If you choose to leave for whatever reason (no one can judge you either way), then give yourself the time and space to mourn. You had a son. You will feel his absence.

I'm so sorry this has happened, OP. Let your heart rule over your head. Find a way to bring yourself peace whatever the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run, don't walk

This. OP, you must be crazy to entertain any other option. Don't refer to the child as your son. He is not. He has a father who is willing to step in.

This whole thing sucks, but man up and cut your losses here. Go find a woman who will have children with you.

Oh yes, that's just great for a 2.5 year old kid to have a "new daddy" one day. No problems there. Yeah, run like the wind. You're a piece of shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run, don't walk

This. OP, you must be crazy to entertain any other option. Don't refer to the child as your son. He is not. He has a father who is willing to step in.

This whole thing sucks, but man up and cut your losses here. Go find a woman who will have children with you.

Oh yes, that's just great for a 2.5 year old kid to have a "new daddy" one day. No problems there. Yeah, run like the wind. You're a piece of shit.

That's on mom. Not OP's responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Why does he need a lawyer if they are not married and the kid isn't his?

I agree w pp that you should do a gradual transition to more if an uncle role.

I am sure this is tough and I'm sorry op. Hopefully you will soon see that you were blessed to get away from a lifetime with a woman who is not honest and blessed to know and love a child.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Think of the long term. At age 5, he is not going to see you as his dad. In fact, by then, you will likely have moved on to a new relationship and maybe even children of your own. Would you still want to involve this child in your family? What about your partner? What is she was not ok with the arrangement? What about your own kids? How will they feel about it?

Right now, it's hard. Right now is the time to grieve not to make plans for some kind of protracted custody. It will be tough but you will move on and so will this child pretty quickly actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need a lawyer if they are not married and the kid isn't his?

I agree w pp that you should do a gradual transition to more if an uncle role.

I am sure this is tough and I'm sorry op. Hopefully you will soon see that you were blessed to get away from a lifetime with a woman who is not honest and blessed to know and love a child.

Good luck!

If he signed the birth certificate he is liable for 18 years of child support. He will have to go to court, show paternity is not his it is Joe Schmoe and Ioe Schmoe is willing to step up as Father to have a judge make the change. So he needs representation if that's the case.

[Anonymous]

State law differs, but in most cases, people have between 2 months and 2 years to get a DNA test to remove their name from the birth certificate. If the person fails to do so in the required time period, they will be legally responsible for child support until the child reaches the age of majority, usually 18. The only way they will be excused from child support payments is if the biological parent (or another responsible individual in the court’s discretion) steps up and claims support for the child.

[Anonymous]

I'm am so sorry, Op. Women that do this to men are scum. If she knew that there was a question as to who the child's father was she should have mentioned that from the get go. She didn't and now you are heartbroken and this little boy's world is suddenly turned upside down....

The ahole here is this crappy excuse for a woman. Feel free to dump her azz like a hot potato. You owe her nothing. As far as the little boy goes, he now has a biological father that wants him to be in his life. You are a good man for not trying to stand in his way. Definitely work on getting yourself disentangled from the legal aspect of this situation (support, etc). If you can continue to see this little guy while he gets to know his new father that would be good. Maybe you can find a way to be in the picture long term for him but that may not be possible. Again, I am so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Have you been raising him since birth, in the same household? I have a 3 yo, and I can't imagine just up and walking out on her one day. It breaks my heart just thinking about a child having to go through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you been raising him since birth, in the same household? I have a 3 yo, and I can't imagine just up and walking out on her one day. It breaks my heart just thinking about a child having to go through that.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:State law differs, but in most cases, people have between 2 months and 2 years to get a DNA test to remove their name from the birth certificate. If the person fails to do so in the required time period, they will be legally responsible for child support until the child reaches the age of majority, usually 18. The only way they will be excused from child support payments is if the biological parent (or another responsible individual in the court’s discretion) steps up and claims support for the child.

Well, if the Op is legally the father than the Op could fight for custody of this child? Maybe that would be the way to go. He could then sue for this woman for child support...

[Anonymous]

Be a man, not a cuckold, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you been raising him since birth, in the same household? I have a 3 yo, and I can't imagine just up and walking out on her one day. It breaks my heart just thinking about a child having to go through that.

+1000

Yep. And this lousy mother can take full credit for putting her little boy and these two men in this terrible situation.

I suppose the Op should just suck it up and allow himself to be relegated to the child support provider while this other man takes over the parenting duties with his biological son....is that right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run, don't walk

This. OP, you must be crazy to entertain any other option. Don't refer to the child as your son. He is not. He has a father who is willing to step in.

This whole thing sucks, but man up and cut your losses here. Go find a woman who will have children with you.

Oh yes, that's just great for a 2.5 year old kid to have a "new daddy" one day. No problems there. Yeah, run like the wind. You're a piece of shit.

That's on mom. Not OP's responsibility.

Wrong wrong wrong. Once we have become involved with a child, it becomes OUR responsibility. We are the adults. The child should not suffer more from this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run, don't walk

This. OP, you must be crazy to entertain any other option. Don't refer to the child as your son. He is not. He has a father who is willing to step in.

This whole thing sucks, but man up and cut your losses here. Go find a woman who will have children with you.

Oh yes, that's just great for a 2.5 year old kid to have a "new daddy" one day. No problems there. Yeah, run like the wind. You're a piece of shit.

That's on mom. Not OP's responsibility.

Wrong wrong wrong. Once we have become involved with a child, it becomes OUR responsibility. We are the adults. The child should not suffer more from this.

Ha. Too late! The child is going to find out one way or the other that Op is not his biological dad - which is going to be hard to explain. This kid is going to find out that the daddy he loves and looks up to and runs to every night when he gets home is not his biological father. And the biological father who is a good man and wants to be in this child's life should not be shut out by this conniving woman - not her call.

The mess has been made. Op now just has to figure out how to make this whole thing less tragic for this little boy. Which SUCKS.