Paying for adult children's vacation

[Anonymous]

Since birth we've taken our 3 kids on nice yearly family summer vacations, places like Hawaii, DisneyWorld, USVI, etc. All 3 are now out of college (we paid all costs) and over the last few years not all 3 have made these yearly vacations because of jobs or other commitments. All 3 currently have jobs and money in the bank.

My question: At what point do parents stop paying for these vacation's if ever? This is assuming they still wish to come along.

[Anonymous]

My parents didn't take me on vacation once I graduated high school. I have younger half siblings who are 25 and 29 and they are taken on really nice vacations but they are sometimes presented as birthday or Christmas gifts.

[Anonymous]

If you want/expect them to join you, it would be nice if you paid. If you don't want to pay, I think that's fine, but I wouldn't expect them to come along in that case.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine vacationing with parents once you leave home. If there were some sort of once-off like a Grand Trip to Asia or a 50th Anniversary or a destination wedding, that's one thing. But routinely paying for your adult working children to vacation with you? That's insane and your kids are taking advantage of you, and you shouldn't offer.

[Anonymous]

I would never vacation with ,y parents unless they did it as a gift.

As a young working person there is so little leave I would not really vacation every year with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want/expect them to join you, it would be nice if you paid. If you don't want to pay, I think that's fine, but I wouldn't expect them to come along in that case.

+1

[Anonymous]

For me, it stopped after college (and even in college it was mostly travel to family events not just for fun.) after we started having kids-the dynamic changed again. For example, we all went to a wedding and my family, parents, and sister shared a rental house. We paid our travel, my parents paid for the house and wouldn't let me pay them our share. They used frequent flier miles to bring my other sister out to visit them-because there was no way she could afford the plane tickets for her family of 6.

But these are occasional things. We aren't expected to vacation annually.

[Anonymous]

My parents stopped once I graduated high school and had a job. Around age 20

[Anonymous]

My Dad still pays for a week long vacation rental for my siblings and me ( and our families) every year too. All of us kids are every comfortable and could afford the trips ourselves, but my Dad has never accepted money from us to cover our share of the hotel/vacation rental. Instead, my siblings and I try to insure that we cover all meals and extras while there, but those costs still don't equal our share of the accomadations. I think he does it, but he really likes having all of us together under one roof again and he is afraid we wouldn't all come every year if he didn't pay. Although everyone (including our spouses) enjoy the trip, I could see us deciding to not go some years in order to save for our own expensive trip or big ticket item.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad still pays for a week long vacation rental for my siblings and me ( and our families) every year too. All of us kids are every comfortable and could afford the trips ourselves, but my Dad has never accepted money from us to cover our share of the hotel/vacation rental. Instead, my siblings and I try to insure that we cover all meals and extras while there, but those costs still don't equal our share of the accomadations. I think he does it, but he really likes having all of us together under one roof again and he is afraid we wouldn't all come every year if he didn't pay. Although everyone (including our spouses) enjoy the trip, I could see us deciding to not go some years in order to save for our own expensive trip or big ticket item.

That's really nice.

[Anonymous]

Any point you want. Stop inviting them, if you don't want to pay. As you said, they're grown with their own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any point you want. Stop inviting them, if you don't want to pay. As you said, they're grown with their own money.

I would either do this or, communicate your real feelings.

"While Dad and I have to start saving for retirement and can no longer buy everyone''s tickets etc., we want you to know that you are always welcome to join us on vacation." If that's how you feel.

They are not mind readers. If you stop inviting them, them might think you don't want them to come. And if that's how you feel, that's fine too.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws take us on vacation all the time. Our HHI is over 500K, so it's not like we can't afford it. They enjoy doing this. They're very well off, too.

[Anonymous]

[Post New]07/01/2016 05:27 Subject: Paying for adult children's vacation [Up]
Anonymous



I can't imagine vacationing with parents once you leave home. If there were some sort of once-off like a Grand Trip to Asia or a 50th Anniversary or a destination wedding, that's one thing. But routinely paying for your adult working children to vacation with you? That's insane and your kids are taking advantage of you, and you shouldn't offer.

Just want to offer a different perspective: My in-laws had a nice vacation home and the three adult kids with spouse and grandkids would pick a week or so to visit them. They didn't charge us rent so technically they paid for our vacation. My FIL has since died and MIL sold the place but, the memories we have ( not all great but still nobody's perfect ) have continued long after. So, while it might not be your cup of tea I don't think it is as insane as you put it.

Now, if the Op and her husband couldn't afford it than she is free to let them know. Maybe they could do a shorter and cheaper vacation if they wanted to treat.

[Anonymous]

No vacation time, not a spending priority. What percentage of their HHI is spent on rent/mortgage. It is tough on young people now.

If you raised them right, they don't expect you to pay anyway. Just tell them. We can't pay for you. They may, or may not come.