Help! Are my husband and I being unreasonable or are my in-laws expecting too much?

[Anonymous]

We have twin niece/nephew who are about to turn two. We were invited to their birthday party but it is three and a half hours away. The birthday party is only 2 hours. So, we would be in the car for 7 hours for a two-hour birthday party, and that is without traffic. We already explored options of going up the day before and spending the night or going up earlier the day of the party. The party is on a Sunday at a children's gymnastics type place. If we went to the party we would not get home until about 7p.m. at the earliest, depending on traffic. My in-laws are the type of people that expect attendance at every family function unless you have a major conflict. For example, my husband and I had to miss my husbands brothers sister-in-laws wedding because our dog got hit in the eye with a tennis ball and needed emergency care. This caused a huge fight between my husband and his brother for a long time. We do not want to ruffle any feathers but we feel it is unreasonable for them to expect us to drive 7 hours total for a two hour party. My husband's parents are driving up that morning but they do not have to get up early the next day to go to work. Additionally, they are going up early despite my husband's brother making it clear that they do not want guests over before the party. Opinions? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I would not happy happy if you missed my wedding because of a dog injury. Now, you will basically need to attend this party to make up for this.

[Anonymous]

Eff no. That's a kid party. Not a family party.

[Anonymous]

I have driven farther than that for short events too. I once drive my kids to a Pokemon competition six hours away and drive home same day, NBD.

[Anonymous]

Your in-laws expect way too much. I would never expect family to drive like that for a party at a venue like that--it's not like you'd even be spending time with the birthday kid. Hell, my brother and SIL are local and we don't even invite them to our kids' parties. If we had them at home we would, but not at a venue where the kids are doing their own thing for two hours.

[Anonymous]

Hahaha. No, you don't need to attend this. The birthday girls will have no idea what's going on anyhow, will be overwhelmed and their parents will be running around like mad at the gym place, trying to keep 8 2 year olds alive. The only people who will really care are the grandparents.

Do not think for one more moment about this. Send balloons.

[Anonymous]

I'd go, but I love my brother and my niece. If I'm invited to ANYTHING involving either of them, I move heaven and earth to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd go, but I love my brother and my niece. If I'm invited to ANYTHING involving either of them, I move heaven and earth to go.

Then it's a good thing OP doesn't love her nieces!

[Anonymous]

Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

[Anonymous]

OP here. In response to 18:21, we did not miss the party hosts wedding! It was my husband's brothers wife's brother whose wedding we missed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eff no. That's a kid party. Not a family party.

+1
It is not an adult party. Basically, they expect you to drive 3.5 hours and stand in the vestibule of a strip-mall property watching toddlers play in ball pits. It might be different if it were at someone's house and was a real family occasion, but it's not. It's a kids' party at a children's venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

for a husband's brother's sister-in-law? I don't even know if my husband's brother has a sister in law, much less who she might be, much less be invited to her wedding!

And no, no adult goes to a kid's birthday party at a kiddie venue unless they live right there and it's convenient. Stop with the family guilt trips!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In response to 18:21, we did not miss the party hosts wedding! It was my husband's brothers wife's brother whose wedding we missed.

I think the point is that a wedding is a major life event, a birthday party for two-year-olds isn't. If you hadn't missed the wedding for a dog injury (I honestly wouldn't know what to say to that.), you could miss this without issue. But, there's bad blood, so you may want to prepare yourself. Sounds...complicated. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

At least one of you should have gone to the wedding.

I'd skip the bday party.

[Anonymous]

Op, you better get more comfortable about ruffling feathers.