Help! Are my husband and I being unreasonable or are my in-laws expecting too much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

for a husband's brother's sister-in-law? I don't even know if my husband's brother has a sister in law, much less who she might be, much less be invited to her wedding!

And no, no adult goes to a kid's birthday party at a kiddie venue unless they live right there and it's convenient. Stop with the family guilt trips!

You don't sound like a close family PP.

Not pp, but I've met all my husband's brother's wife's siblings and am friendly with them at parties, but I have zero expectations of being invited to their weddings, let alone expecting my attendance to be mandatory. That's just nuts.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

for a husband's brother's sister-in-law? I don't even know if my husband's brother has a sister in law, much less who she might be, much less be invited to her wedding!

And no, no adult goes to a kid's birthday party at a kiddie venue unless they live right there and it's convenient. Stop with the family guilt trips!

You don't sound like a close family PP.

NP here. If they had RSVP'd no for the wedding from the beginning, I don't think it would be a big deal. My impression is that they RSVP'd yes and then at the last minute decided that neither of them could go due to the dog's injury. That's rude.

My family is loaded with animal lovers and we would have understood why OP and spouse missed the wedding.

[Anonymous]

One of you should have gone to the wedding. But, that has nothing to do with the kids' party. You need to learn to establish boundaries with your ILs NOW. You think things are difficult n ow, wait until you have kids.......

[Anonymous]

No support on BOTH of you missing wedding because of dog (that really was lame) but 2 year old's party is a silly ask

[Anonymous]

One of you should have gone to the wedding. You were being brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eff no. That's a kid party. Not a family party.

+1. That's entirely different than a dinner at home with cake and presents. We do both with our kids and don't invite family to the kid party.

[Anonymous]

I would not drive 7 hours for a gymnastics olace type party on a Sunday. In laws are being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

for a husband's brother's sister-in-law? I don't even know if my husband's brother has a sister in law, much less who she might be, much less be invited to her wedding!

And no, no adult goes to a kid's birthday party at a kiddie venue unless they live right there and it's convenient. Stop with the family guilt trips!

You don't know if your sister-in-law (husband's brother's wife) has any siblings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

for a husband's brother's sister-in-law? I don't even know if my husband's brother has a sister in law, much less who she might be, much less be invited to her wedding!

And no, no adult goes to a kid's birthday party at a kiddie venue unless they live right there and it's convenient. Stop with the family guilt trips!

You don't sound like a close family PP.

Not pp, but I've met all my husband's brother's wife's siblings and am friendly with them at parties, but I have zero expectations of being invited to their weddings, let alone expecting my attendance to be mandatory. That's just nuts.

It's mandatory to attend a wedding once you RSVP yes absent an excellent excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

for a husband's brother's sister-in-law? I don't even know if my husband's brother has a sister in law, much less who she might be, much less be invited to her wedding!

And no, no adult goes to a kid's birthday party at a kiddie venue unless they live right there and it's convenient. Stop with the family guilt trips!

You don't sound like a close family PP.

Not pp, but I've met all my husband's brother's wife's siblings and am friendly with them at parties, but I have zero expectations of being invited to their weddings, let alone expecting my attendance to be mandatory. That's just nuts.

It's mandatory to attend a wedding once you RSVP yes absent an excellent excuse.

I should say excellent excuse = unavoidable emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In response to 18:21, we did not miss the party hosts wedding! It was my husband's brothers wife's brother whose wedding we missed.

Do you people honestly thing OP's husband's brothers wife's brother was really upset that OP and spouse were not there? I'm not sure they were anchoring the head table or anything! I'm sure folks will argue the expense or whatever but if the happy couple is inviting relatives by marriage 4 times removed, I don't think they're micromanaging the guest list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing the wedding was horrible . I would disown you guys. Yes you go to the party

It is not horrible to miss the wedding of a distant relative by marriage for any reason.

And expecting someone to drive 7 hours for a two hour jump party for a two year old is just silly.

Stay strong OP! Don't feed the monster.

[Anonymous]

If it was a family party, I'd say maybe - b/c I don't think that's ALL that far. And if you were staying for the weekend or whatever, then yeah, I'd go.

But to drive that far for a toddler birthday party at a gymnastics place??? Hell no. Zero chance.

Now, I would also not have missed a wedding for a dog injury. But then again, I would also not ever be going to my husband's brother's sister-in-laws wedding in the first place!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Staying the weekend is not an option because they are moving in 2 weeks. Additionally, our dog's injury was very serious. the tennis ball that hit him straight in the eye was going about 50 miles per hour and had we not brought him directly in for care he could have lost his eyesight. We we're getting ready to leave for the wedding when this injury occurred. The wedding was 2 hours away. Sorry, I should have included that information in the original post. Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice!

Were you under the impression at the time that it would kill him? Is one of you unable to drive? Still completely unclear on why ONE of you didn't attend with apologies for the other missing.

[Anonymous]

You are ADULTS. Manage your own relationships, and make your own decisions.