How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

[Anonymous]

Mine started because we were both engaged to other people. We thought it would be a short thing. He's divorced now and I am still married with one kid.

[Anonymous]

How do I approach a married man? So much of this is advice on how to hit on a married woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really interesting.

I've been occasionally hanging out with this guy for 3 yrs now. We seldom see each other but when we do I feel like I really wanna go for it and actually seduce him. The last time we hung out, I thought this was the night I was gonna go for it because he kept saying that he needed sex and he hasn't been getting much from his wife and was thinking of getting it on with these 2 girls at work but I felt that he needed a friend more than a lover. He was also telling me all of his problems with his sick parents and career. So I just listened to him all night.

Another reason that's keeping me from going for it is that I'm afraid that our friendship will end once we actually start an affair.

He told me a few years back that he's had an affair but terribly regretted it. I see that he is also attracted to me but I can't exactly tell if he's just a tease or the type of guy who'd really go for it.

Would a guy talk about sex with a female even if he doesn't want to do it with her and would prefer doing it with someone else?

He wants to have sex with you. Whether he would do it is another question. Even though he has cheated before it's still a big step to take the plunge. You can throw it out there in a joking way, see how he responds - "This would be such a better conversation if we were naked" and laugh.

It will ruin your friendship though, eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really not so hard. You demonstrate your interest in the other person by doing things that clearly suggest an interest but are plausibly deniable and gradually escalate over time. Light flirting, more physical contact than normal (such as holding a handshake just a smigden longer than normal, light touching that isn't strictly speaking necessary). If the person reacts poorly, you just stop, and if called on it you claim a misunderstanding and never do anything like that again. If the person seems receptive, you are off to the races. Not that I would ever do this, but practically it is not that hard a problem and if you can't figure it out, you aren't really affair material.

This is true and I think a lot of affairs in the workplace start this way without people realizing they are testing the waters. Call me a cynic, but I do believe not all affairs start because someone wakes up and says, I want to have an affair! I will start today! I think people get in ruts in their marriage, stop communicating effectively, start resenting the spouse, and an opportunity comes up where you start feeling supported/validated by a co-worker of the opposite sex, you guys start spending more time together, and bam, you are doing these thing without realizing it (or realizing it but rationalizing and justifying the hell out of it). Then you either have the beginning of an emotional affair that stays that way or evolves into a physical affair.

Yes, this is spot on. Had a three month affair that started off as a work friendship that led to something emotional then physical. OP, it is not worth it. My spouse found out about it, and while we are still together it took a lot for us to mend things. Work on fixing what is plaguing the marriage. If it can't be fixed, leave. Honestly, I've seen affairs happen, I've been in one and I can tell you that absent physical abuse most marriages can come back from the brink of destruction and be stronger than before. People throw out marriages because one person bangs someone else and yeah it's a shitty thing to do but oftentimes they're better off with their spouse than with the person they cheated with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I approach a married man? So much of this is advice on how to hit on a married woman.

Flirt with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I approach a married man? So much of this is advice on how to hit on a married woman.

walk up to him. grab his shirt and whisper in his ear "I want you to fuck me. Now."

[Anonymous]

I told a married man that I had a dream we had sex and it was so good I wanted to do it again and then I gave him my number. That turned into 3 great years of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really interesting.

I've been occasionally hanging out with this guy for 3 yrs now. We seldom see each other but when we do I feel like I really wanna go for it and actually seduce him. The last time we hung out, I thought this was the night I was gonna go for it because he kept saying that he needed sex and he hasn't been getting much from his wife and was thinking of getting it on with these 2 girls at work but I felt that he needed a friend more than a lover. He was also telling me all of his problems with his sick parents and career. So I just listened to him all night.

Another reason that's keeping me from going for it is that I'm afraid that our friendship will end once we actually start an affair.

He told me a few years back that he's had an affair but terribly regretted it. I see that he is also attracted to me but I can't exactly tell if he's just a tease or the type of guy who'd really go for it.

Would a guy talk about sex with a female even if he doesn't want to do it with her and would prefer doing it with someone else?

He wants to have sex with you. Whether he would do it is another question. Even though he has cheated before it's still a big step to take the plunge. You can throw it out there in a joking way, see how he responds - "This would be such a better conversation if we were naked" and laugh.

It will ruin your friendship though, eventually.

Is there a way for me to confirm that he really wants to have sex or it's just friendship? I hate being led on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I approach a married man? So much of this is advice on how to hit on a married woman.

You're a sick F.

[Anonymous]

Hi! So very sorry that I am late here, but I got caught up with my lover and narrowly missed having that exposed to my wife of over 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I approach a married man? So much of this is advice on how to hit on a married woman.

walk up to him. grab his shirt and whisper in his ear "I want you to fck me. Now."

(sweeps everything off the meeting room table) "OK, everyone else, get out, meeting will resume in 30 minutes!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way for me to confirm that he really wants to have sex or it's just friendship? I hate being led on.

He does want sex. But he's scared of blowing up his life over it.

[Anonymous]

When Suzanne did it with my husband, she did it when they were out to lunch together on a work trip. She reached across the table, grabbed his hand, and said "Eric, I've been feeling very close to you lately. And now, I'm feeling more than that."

They were sleeping together by the end of the trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When Suzanne did it with my husband, she did it when they were out to lunch together on a work trip. She reached across the table, grabbed his hand, and said "Eric, I've been feeling very close to you lately. And now, I'm feeling more than that."

They were sleeping together by the end of the trip.

Wow, interesting!
Let's go to lunch and you can tell me the whole story.

[Anonymous]

15:59 here. Lol.... I kicked his ass out when I found out. Far as I know, they are still together.