Walked in on my MIL going through my purse

[Anonymous]

My in laws were visiting last weekend. I walked into a room to find my MIL digging through my purse. The minute she caught me at the corner of her eye, she quickly jumped up and put my purse down (I had it sitting on the floor). I was so shocked and it was such an awkward situation, I turned and walked out without saying anything. They do not live near us, and we visit with them probably a half dozen times during the year, so I didn't feel it was worth the drama.

My husband has always been very protective and defensive of his mother (he's by far her favorite); I didn't mention anything to him because I don't see any good that would come out of doing so.

But does anyone on here have any clue as to why on earth she was digging through my purse? She's far from short on cash so I can't imagine her trying to take money..

[Anonymous]

You could have said, "Are you looking for something?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could have said, "Are you looking for something?"

After the fact, I thought I could have asked something like this.. but because I was so shocked and unsure of what to do/say, I just quickly walked out. I know she saw me and am pretty sure she knows I caught her.. just so awkward and I am at a loss of what her purpose was.

[Anonymous]

Well, first of all, tell your husband.

The answer is that there is no good reason. She's snooping. Be wary.

[Anonymous]

When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, first of all, tell your husband.

The answer is that there is no good reason. She's snooping. Be wary.

I know his response - he will tell me I'm being ridiculous, she would never do that and I misjudged what I was seeing. Been down this road with other situations in the past, he'll just defend her and try to make me think I'm nuts for thinking she would do such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

Okay - now this is a great idea!! Maybe I'll stage a purse with some staining substance all over it.

[Anonymous]

I think the fact that you said nothing is OK, if it was just a one-time thing, but if you let it go now, you can't refer to it in the future if she snoops again--it will seem like you are making it up.

I would email her or text her--so that there is a record--and say, "Linda, I didn't say anything the other day, because I was caught off guard and uncomfortable. But I need you to know that I did not appreciate you going through my purse without permission--it was a violation of my privacy. Did you need something? I won't mention this to anyone else, but I would like an apology from you."

Get a record of the incident. Even if she doesn't respond, it's in your sent mail. No response would prove she did do it, because why wouldn't she dispute it if it wasn't true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

Haha. Big dildo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, first of all, tell your husband.

The answer is that there is no good reason. She's snooping. Be wary.

I know his response - he will tell me I'm being ridiculous, she would never do that and I misjudged what I was seeing. Been down this road with other situations in the past, he'll just defend her and try to make me think I'm nuts for thinking she would do such a thing.

That's not good, OP.

Is there a way that you can say to him "Is there any reason you can think of that your mom would need to go through my purse?"

[Anonymous]

I'd say something to her, but be nice and as nonconfrontational as possible - "Hey, MIL, what were you looking for in my purse yesterday? That was sort of an awkward situation. If you need something, tell me and I'll help you get it, ok?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, first of all, tell your husband.

The answer is that there is no good reason. She's snooping. Be wary.

I know his response - he will tell me I'm being ridiculous, she would never do that and I misjudged what I was seeing. Been down this road with other situations in the past, he'll just defend her and try to make me think I'm nuts for thinking she would do such a thing.

That's not good, OP.

Is there a way that you can say to him "Is there any reason you can think of that your mom would need to go through my purse?"

Thanks, but it will have the same exact result. He'll tell me I'm making false accusations, and that I'm ridiculous, etc etc.

[Anonymous]

You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, first of all, tell your husband.

The answer is that there is no good reason. She's snooping. Be wary.

I know his response - he will tell me I'm being ridiculous, she would never do that and I misjudged what I was seeing. Been down this road with other situations in the past, he'll just defend her and try to make me think I'm nuts for thinking she would do such a thing.

That's not good, OP.

Is there a way that you can say to him "Is there any reason you can think of that your mom would need to go through my purse?"

Thanks, but it will have the same exact result. He'll tell me I'm making false accusations, and that I'm ridiculous, etc etc.

My sympathies; I have a husband just like this. FWIW, I'd be hiding all kinds if stuff for her to "find." What kind of person invades another's privacy like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

Yup. I understand loyalty to one's mother, but it's got to have limits. Especially when it involves a violation of privacy of the one you took as your wife to have and to hold til death do you part.