Walked in on my MIL going through my purse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

Yes, this is true. This is only the case when it comes to his parents though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say something to her, but be nice and as nonconfrontational as possible - "Hey, MIL, what were you looking for in my purse yesterday? That was sort of an awkward situation. If you need something, tell me and I'll help you get it, ok?"

I like this. Say it or email it to her. And next time hide some anal beads in there with a note "To DH, here are the beads you asked for!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, first of all, tell your husband.

The answer is that there is no good reason. She's snooping. Be wary.

I know his response - he will tell me I'm being ridiculous, she would never do that and I misjudged what I was seeing. Been down this road with other situations in the past, he'll just defend her and try to make me think I'm nuts for thinking she would do such a thing.

This is a far worse problem than MIL snooping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

Yes, this is true. This is only the case when it comes to his parents though.

yes I know there is an elephant in the room, but it is only 1 elephant.
DAFUGGG!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say something to her, but be nice and as nonconfrontational as possible - "Hey, MIL, what were you looking for in my purse yesterday? That was sort of an awkward situation. If you need something, tell me and I'll help you get it, ok?"

I like this. Say it or email it to her. And next time hide some anal beads in there with a note "To DH, here are the beads you asked for!"

This is probably the nicest thing you can say to MIL about the incident. But if you don't want to say it to her (honestly, I don't know if I would want to, I'm rather non-confrontational that way) I'd just try to forget about the incident. Let it go; family harmony is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say something to her, but be nice and as nonconfrontational as possible - "Hey, MIL, what were you looking for in my purse yesterday? That was sort of an awkward situation. If you need something, tell me and I'll help you get it, ok?"

I like this. Say it or email it to her. And next time hide some anal beads in there with a note "To DH, here are the beads you asked for!"

This is probably the nicest thing you can say to MIL about the incident. But if you don't want to say it to her (honestly, I don't know if I would want to, I'm rather non-confrontational that way) I'd just try to forget about the incident. Let it go; family harmony is worth it.

Family harmony is worth it ONLY if you think this was a one-time, anomalous thing, OP. Do you? Has she snooped before? If this is a pattern, you need to confront her via e-mail as suggested previously (so there is a record, yes), and if your husband doesn't like it, you say:

"It was a violation of my personal property. So I am handling this personally. Frankly, I would have asked you to help me address this issue, but you have a pattern of not backing me up or believing me when it comes to your mother, so you have lost the privledge of me consulting you before standing up for myself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, first of all, tell your husband.

The answer is that there is no good reason. She's snooping. Be wary.

I know his response - he will tell me I'm being ridiculous, she would never do that and I misjudged what I was seeing. Been down this road with other situations in the past, he'll just defend her and try to make me think I'm nuts for thinking she would do such a thing.

This is a far worse problem than MIL snooping.

Yes, and is the reason why MIL feels like she can snoop without any consequences.

[Anonymous]

It's strange that you haven't told your husband. She was snooping, but in a purse? Why would somebody snoop in a purse? There is nothing to see.

[Anonymous]

I'd just let it slide. Nothing good will come out of it.

[Anonymous]

Leave condoms, sex toys and a picture of a hunk ( not your husband) for her to find next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

I have to agree with this.

[Anonymous]

What is your relationship like? My MIL and I are very close - if she were in my purse I'd know she was looking for something specific (though she'd almost certainly just ask me)..

[Anonymous]

This is gold. She hopefully will be too shamed to ever screw with you again. Your marriage should be absolutely MIL proof forever!!

[Anonymous]

Your problem is not your MIL. Your problem is your husband. He married you. Promised to put you above all others. But this isn't the case in your marriage. If he would call you a LIAR over believing that his mother could be shady, your marriage is basically over already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say something to her, but be nice and as nonconfrontational as possible - "Hey, MIL, what were you looking for in my purse yesterday? That was sort of an awkward situation. If you need something, tell me and I'll help you get it, ok?"

I like this. Say it or email it to her. And next time hide some anal beads in there with a note "To DH, here are the beads you asked for!"

This is probably the nicest thing you can say to MIL about the incident. But if you don't want to say it to her (honestly, I don't know if I would want to, I'm rather non-confrontational that way) I'd just try to forget about the incident. Let it go; family harmony is worth it.

Family harmony is worth it ONLY if you think this was a one-time, anomalous thing, OP. Do you? Has she snooped before? If this is a pattern, you need to confront her via e-mail as suggested previously (so there is a record, yes), and if your husband doesn't like it, you say:

"It was a violation of my personal property. So I am handling this personally. Frankly, I would have asked you to help me address this issue, but you have a pattern of not backing me up or believing me when it comes to your mother, so you have lost the privledge of me consulting you before standing up for myself."

Yes. He has no right to complain if you choose to confront her directly.