Walked in on my MIL going through my purse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have said, "Are you looking for something?"

After the fact, I thought I could have asked something like this.. but because I was so shocked and unsure of what to do/say, I just quickly walked out. I know she saw me and am pretty sure she knows I caught her.. just so awkward and I am at a loss of what her purpose was.

This is a little crazy but my first thought is that she has a prescription drug habit and she was looking for some drugs.

[Anonymous]

This is a little crazy but my first thought is that she has a prescription drug habit and she was looking for some drugs.

Or money...even if she doesn't need it, some people just like to steal.

As for thoughts:

-put a note from a "female friend" in there about unfulfilled desires and a hook up proposed
-put a fake receipt in there for flowers in her name for the day after you leave...she'll be so lost on what to do. Call you to see if they didn't arrive? Call the flower shop?? What to do?
-put in an offer letter for you or your DH from a company overseas, drop subtle hints during the weekend about "looming life changes"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the fact that you said nothing is OK, if it was just a one-time thing, but if you let it go now, you can't refer to it in the future if she snoops again--it will seem like you are making it up.

I would email her or text her--so that there is a record--and say, "Linda, I didn't say anything the other day, because I was caught off guard and uncomfortable. But I need you to know that I did not appreciate you going through my purse without permission--it was a violation of my privacy. Did you need something? I won't mention this to anyone else, but I would like an apology from you."

Get a record of the incident. Even if she doesn't respond, it's in your sent mail. No response would prove she did do it, because why wouldn't she dispute it if it wasn't true?

I wouldn't advise putting this in writing. She can then forward it to your DH and anyone else who is "on her side" and say she was only moving your purse and you overreacted/always think the worst, etc. You know and she knows what she did. Keep your purse in your room. She probably was looking for something to criticize you to DH or others about since it seems to be the dynamic at play here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

I never snoop, but I'd never come to your house if I knew you suspect everyone of snooping.

[Anonymous]

I say you tell your DH, but don't look to him to resolve it. And if he pushes back, now is the time to have the fight about how he doesn't believe you when it comes to his mother. It's a fact she was snooping, it's awkward, you don't need him to do anything other than believe you. Lay it out for him. Confronting her will just be awkward as hell. Maybe she wanted something like chapstick, or maybe she was looking to see if you carry birth control (and if not, maybe babies are coming!) or maybe she was just curious and wanted to take a peek. I have nothing exciting in my purse so I can't imagine looking through someone else's would be exciting...but...

Talk to your DH about how he will defend his mother at all costs, even if it means calling you a liar. That's your issue. Deal with it now. Pre-kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

I never snoop, but I'd never come to your house if I knew you suspect everyone of snooping.

I think pp's idea is funny--on the other hand, you sound boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

I never snoop, but I'd never come to your house if I knew you suspect everyone of snooping.

You would never know the notes are there. Unless you are snooping. That's the fun of it. You can't admit to knowing about the notes without also admitting you opened a cabinet or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

Yes, this is true. This is only the case when it comes to his parents though.

He should always believe you. A married couple should always have each other's backs. Do you want your children to grow up in a household where she is not respected or trusted by their father and grandparents? This is a very big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

Yes, this is true. This is only the case when it comes to his parents though.

He should always believe you. A married couple should always have each other's backs. Do you want your children to grow up in a household where she is not respected or trusted by their father and grandparents? This is a very big deal.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

I never snoop, but I'd never come to your house if I knew you suspect everyone of snooping.

You would never know the notes are there. Unless you are snooping. That's the fun of it. You can't admit to knowing about the notes without also admitting you opened a cabinet or two.

This is funny, and clever.

Yes OP, never tell your husband it will only backfire on you. Been there done that. Hear it all the time with horrible inlaws and step children.
Next time put a decoy purse in there with a note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband have a major problem if he doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.

Yes, this is true. This is only the case when it comes to his parents though.

OP, it sounds like your DH still has his mom in position 1. And you follow in position 2. I feel bad for you because you're not in a solid foundational marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

I never snoop, but I'd never come to your house if I knew you suspect everyone of snooping.

I think pp's idea is funny--on the other hand, you sound boring.

The idea is neither funny nor original. It's actually sad that you have to invite "friends" who you don't trust. Notes might work with people you tolerate (e.g., MIL), but not with people whose company you enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

I never snoop, but I'd never come to your house if I knew you suspect everyone of snooping.

You would never know the notes are there. Unless you are snooping. That's the fun of it. You can't admit to knowing about the notes without also admitting you opened a cabinet or two.

We put in ping pong balls a few times. (kinda a bitch to get them in and out without making a mess, but so worth it the two times someone DID snoop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

Haha. Big dildo.

This, with a supposed note from your husband that he can't wait to feel this inside of him.

I'd also fill my purse with powder that is staining (Cherry kool aid? RIT dye?). This would be worth the purse sacrifice to see her marked with proof of her snooping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we have big parties we put funny things and notes in our bathroom medicine cabinets for the people who snoop.

I think you should leave your MIL something in your purse next time. Use your imagination.

I never snoop, but I'd never come to your house if I knew you suspect everyone of snooping.

You would never know the notes are there. Unless you are snooping. That's the fun of it. You can't admit to knowing about the notes without also admitting you opened a cabinet or two.

We put in ping pong balls a few times. (kinda a bitch to get them in and out without making a mess, but so worth it the two times someone DID snoop. [/quote
Yeah but sometimes a friend just needs a tampon!