Am I obligated to emotionally support my sister?

[Anonymous]

My sister is dating a white Catholic guy. My parents and family have no idea. She told me and I blew up at her. I'm so disappointed that she'd take an action that would upset our parents and family. We are a conservative Indian family. Her decision would break my parents hearts. She says I'm a bad sister for not supporting her. I just feel bad for my parents.

P.s I myself have dated white guys in the past and my parents never knew. My sister always supported me.

[Anonymous]

You mean "obliged," and no, you can do whatever you want.

[Anonymous]

No obligation, but if you stick in your heals on this one, be prepared to sacrifice your relationship with her. The choice is yours.

[Anonymous]

Loose the term "support".

Is it appropriate to try to control your sister's actions? No, not at all. Ever
Is it appropriate to have a private preference for who your sister dates. Sure, but you keep that to yourself. It is not spoken.
You can have any reason, rational or otherwise, why you don't want your sister dating someone.
Does she have the right to demand that you feel a certain way or demand that you express your feelings? No

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't you want your sister to be happy?
Your parents and their bigotry is wrong, let them be upset.
As PP said be prepared to lose your sister 1 of 2 ways

1. She breaks up with the guy and is miserable and forever blames the family causing nothing but tension.

2. She cuts you all off.

[Anonymous]

As a white Catholic, I'm just amused to hear we are such a rebellious choice.

[Anonymous]

Depends.
Is she using this guy only to rebel against the family and anger your parents?

If yes, she can do this on her own.

If she has genuine feelings for him I hope you could be supportive of that. If not the problem is with you and your parents and not your sister and the person she's fallen in love with.

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed at you too if you were my sister. She had your back when you dated the "wrong" type of guy and now you aren't giving her the same consideration. WTH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is dating a white Catholic guy. My parents and family have no idea. She told me and I blew up at her. I'm so disappointed that she'd take an action that would upset our parents and family. We are a conservative Indian family. Her decision would break my parents hearts. She says I'm a bad sister for not supporting her. I just feel bad for my parents.

P.s I myself have dated white guys in the past and my parents never knew. My sister always supported me.

Your sister always supported you, but you won't support her?

[Anonymous]

So it's okay for you to upset your parents, but not her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a white Catholic, I'm just amused to hear we are such a rebellious choice.

DH's German Lutheran family frowns upon my Irish Catholic family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a white Catholic, I'm just amused to hear we are such a rebellious choice.

DH's German Lutheran family frowns upon my Irish Catholic family.

LOL. Curious as to why? Are Lutherans considered more "Waspy"? Because the Irish Catholics are certainly better looking. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a white Catholic, I'm just amused to hear we are such a rebellious choice.

Me too! I'm excited.
Although my first thought was that the OP changed religion details to try to hide her identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a white Catholic, I'm just amused to hear we are such a rebellious choice.

DH's German Lutheran family frowns upon my Irish Catholic family.

LOL. Curious as to why? Are Lutherans considered more "Waspy"? Because the Irish Catholics are certainly better looking. Just saying.

I'm an NP, but being Lutheran puts the P in WASP- it means Protestant.