Am I obligated to emotionally support my sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's time for all of you to let go of your bigotry and racism and allow your sister to be happy.

People have different preferences. Some people don't want a family member to marry a black person or a jewish person or a blue color person. Dictating how someone feels about something is authoritarian.

My family is justified at feeling uncomfortable at her pick of a white christian guy. It doesn't make it PC but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's time for all of you to let go of your bigotry and racism and allow your sister to be happy.

People have different preferences. Some people don't want a family member to marry a black person or a jewish person or a blue color person. Dictating how someone feels about something is authoritarian.

My family is justified at feeling uncomfortable at her pick of a white christian guy. It doesn't make it PC but it is what it is.

You do realize that you are describing yourself and your parents, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's time for all of you to let go of your bigotry and racism and allow your sister to be happy.

People have different preferences. Some people don't want a family member to marry a black person or a jewish person or a blue color person. Dictating how someone feels about something is authoritarian.

My family is justified at feeling uncomfortable at her pick of a white christian guy. It doesn't make it PC but it is what it is.

Actually, no, your family is not justified. It might be understandable that they are uncomfortable, given their background, but it is not justifiable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP sounds more like this gem:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/504650.page

If they're not the same person, I suspect they'd get along famously.

Agree and it also sounds like the "self-racist" poster.

I'm calling TROLL on this post and the others. OP go find a real hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's time for all of you to let go of your bigotry and racism and allow your sister to be happy.

People have different preferences. Some people don't want a family member to marry a black person or a jewish person or a blue color person. Dictating how someone feels about something is authoritarian.

My family is justified at feeling uncomfortable at her pick of a white christian guy. It doesn't make it PC but it is what it is.

You do realize that you are describing yourself and your parents, right?

Somehow i think that will fly right over her head. Calling someone authoritarian in the same moment when they are being authoritarian is priceless.

Again, OP, it's time for a chance in your family. Preferring that your sister marries someone is one thing. Basically ordering her and manipulating her to do that out of bigotry is despicable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's time for all of you to let go of your bigotry and racism and allow your sister to be happy.

People have different preferences. Some people don't want a family member to marry a black person or a jewish person or a blue color person. Dictating how someone feels about something is authoritarian.

My family is justified at feeling uncomfortable at her pick of a white christian guy. It doesn't make it PC but it is what it is.

OP, please go look up the definition of "hypocrite." Your picture is there.

She's doing what you have done, but it was OK for you and not for her, in your book.

I think you're just scared that once your family finds out, sister is going to rat you out to your parents and then they'll be furious with YOU for dating a white guy in the past.

You don't have to "support" her emotionally or any other way. You only have to butt out. Don't dare to advise her, and don't tattle on her to mommy and daddy either. And wake up to the incredible, profound hypocrisy you're demonstrating here. You -- and she -- are letting your parents' approval trump the fact that you are (one assumes) adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is dating a white Catholic guy. My parents and family have no idea. She told me and I blew up at her. I'm so disappointed that she'd take an action that would upset our parents and family. We are a conservative Indian family. Her decision would break my parents hearts. She says I'm a bad sister for not supporting her. I just feel bad for my parents.

P.s I myself have dated white guys in the past and my parents never knew. My sister always supported me.

You kind of answered it yourself, didn't you. WTH. Its OK if you do it, but not her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is dating a white Catholic guy. My parents and family have no idea. She told me and I blew up at her. I'm so disappointed that she'd take an action that would upset our parents and family. We are a conservative Indian family. Her decision would break my parents hearts. She says I'm a bad sister for not supporting her. I just feel bad for my parents.

P.s I myself have dated white guys in the past and my parents never knew. My sister always supported me.

For all you know, your sister is just having some fun, getting her white guy fix on, before marrying a suitable, family-approved Indian man. Support her fun like she supported yours. Dating someone is not a lifelong commitment.

[Anonymous]

It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean "obliged," and no, you can do whatever you want.

NP here.
"Obligated" is the correct word and usage for this thread title.

[Anonymous]

If you're doing it because you have to it isn't exactly emotional support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families.

So you can't be bigoted? Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families.

So you can't be bigoted? Interesting.

See, I think it's just cultural bigotry. If you would oppose your daughter marrying a white guy, regardless of anything else you knew about him, you're being bigoted. The fact that your whole family is bigoted doesn't change that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families.

So you can't be bigoted? Interesting.

OP here.

I deeply resent being called a "bigot" and the other awful comments thrown my way on this thread. There is a lot more at play here than simply the fact that he's white or christian. There is a MASSIVE culture and lifestyle gap between my family and a regular white western family.

Okay, so my sister gets along with this guy. But do they have similar values? Goals? Outlooks? How will they raise their children? What about the fact that our family doesn't drink or party and his family is made up of loud drinking parties. How will the two families ever socialize when they get together? ETC.

It sets up a couple for a lifelong struggle.

My sister likes to think that she's very different from us. You know, maybe she is. But her dating this guy seriously and stepping out of our culture and traditions and associating with a family that is SO FUNDAMENTALLY different than us just means that we will not be involved in her life.

[Anonymous]

If your sister supported you when you were dating white guys secretly, you should support her. Otherwise, if you don't, I know I would "tell on" you and all your past exploits with guys. And, you know, how your sister got the memo it was ok to secretly data white guys.