Am I obligated to emotionally support my sister?

[Anonymous]

Racism at its best

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families.

So you can't be bigoted? Interesting.

OP here.

I deeply resent being called a "bigot" and the other awful comments thrown my way on this thread. There is a lot more at play here than simply the fact that he's white or christian. There is a MASSIVE culture and lifestyle gap between my family and a regular white western family.

Okay, so my sister gets along with this guy. But do they have similar values? Goals? Outlooks? How will they raise their children? What about the fact that our family doesn't drink or party and his family is made up of loud drinking parties. How will the two families ever socialize when they get together? ETC.

It sets up a couple for a lifelong struggle.

My sister likes to think that she's very different from us. You know, maybe she is. But her dating this guy seriously and stepping out of our culture and traditions and associating with a family that is SO FUNDAMENTALLY different than us just means that we will not be involved in her life.

Ok OP, so you are racist, xenophobic and a bigot against other religions. Paint it any color you like, but that's what you are describing.

Actually, the OP is right. Lots of couples marry but then spend their marriage dealing with in-law conflicts due to cultural differences, etc. because they naievely thought that they could blend their families.

OP here. Also, don't get me wrong, my sister is very "westernized". She went to American middle and high schools AND went to college here. Her friendgroup has always consisted of westernized "brown" girls from the Arab world and Iran.

I always expected her to date other westernized muslims, sure. I think so did our parents. I just never imagined she'd step so far outside of what she knows. Right now she says that this is her decision and she knows what she is doing and she will deal with the fallout and the consequences of her choice.

And she's right. All of this is on her. But along with the life long cultural-religious conflict between the two families, what if she wakes up at 35 and decides she wants to go to the Mosque. Other people will ostracize her and any children she has. People change and I dunno...it just seems like such an extreme struggle to set yourself up to. She's young and non religious and has a lot in common with this guy. What happens when its Ramadan and she wants to pray or fast? What will he think?

I just think a lot more thought is required of this situation.

Yeah, I have Muslim friends from India and Pakistan who entered into interreligious/interracial marriages. I am a desi in an interreligious marriage myself. Many of our friends are in intercultural/interreligious marriages. Loving families do not react like this.

Don't pretend that your family's narrow mindedness is widely acceptable. If people in your mosque would ostracize her and her children, it's not a mosque she'll likely want to come home to, anyway. She'll find another community. The only way for her and her family to fit in is if you make room for her, which you clearly are not interested in doing.





Were they Muslim girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Racism at its best

Yep, this poster is every conservative's wet dream about why we shouldn't let any more of 'those people' into this country. Obsession with blood/cultural purity, defensiveness when called out, and unwillingness to accept wider American cultural norms.

[Anonymous]

Actually, not that different from angry Southern whites, tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Racism at its best

Yep, this poster is every conservative's wet dream about why we shouldn't let any more of 'those people' into this country. Obsession with blood/cultural purity, defensiveness when called out, and unwillingness to accept wider American cultural norms.

..and every liberals nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families.

So you can't be bigoted? Interesting.

OP here.

I deeply resent being called a "bigot" and the other awful comments thrown my way on this thread. There is a lot more at play here than simply the fact that he's white or christian. There is a MASSIVE culture and lifestyle gap between my family and a regular white western family.

Okay, so my sister gets along with this guy. But do they have similar values? Goals? Outlooks? How will they raise their children? What about the fact that our family doesn't drink or party and his family is made up of loud drinking parties. How will the two families ever socialize when they get together? ETC.

It sets up a couple for a lifelong struggle.

My sister likes to think that she's very different from us. You know, maybe she is. But her dating this guy seriously and stepping out of our culture and traditions and associating with a family that is SO FUNDAMENTALLY different than us just means that we will not be involved in her life.

Ok OP, so you are racist, xenophobic and a bigot against other religions. Paint it any color you like, but that's what you are describing.

Actually, the OP is right. Lots of couples marry but then spend their marriage dealing with in-law conflicts due to cultural differences, etc. because they naievely thought that they could blend their families.

OP here. Also, don't get me wrong, my sister is very "westernized". She went to American middle and high schools AND went to college here. Her friendgroup has always consisted of westernized "brown" girls from the Arab world and Iran.

I always expected her to date other westernized muslims, sure. I think so did our parents. I just never imagined she'd step so far outside of what she knows. Right now she says that this is her decision and she knows what she is doing and she will deal with the fallout and the consequences of her choice.

And she's right. All of this is on her. But along with the life long cultural-religious conflict between the two families, what if she wakes up at 35 and decides she wants to go to the Mosque. Other people will ostracize her and any children she has. People change and I dunno...it just seems like such an extreme struggle to set yourself up to. She's young and non religious and has a lot in common with this guy. What happens when its Ramadan and she wants to pray or fast? What will he think?

I just think a lot more thought is required of this situation.

Yeah, I have Muslim friends from India and Pakistan who entered into interreligious/interracial marriages. I am a desi in an interreligious marriage myself. Many of our friends are in intercultural/interreligious marriages. Loving families do not react like this.

Don't pretend that your family's narrow mindedness is widely acceptable. If people in your mosque would ostracize her and her children, it's not a mosque she'll likely want to come home to, anyway. She'll find another community. The only way for her and her family to fit in is if you make room for her, which you clearly are not interested in doing.

Were they Muslim girls?

Muslim women. Not children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Racism at its best

Yep, this poster is every conservative's wet dream about why we shouldn't let any more of 'those people' into this country. Obsession with blood/cultural purity, defensiveness when called out, and unwillingness to accept wider American cultural norms.

I think the poster is off her rocker but don't tell me that white Christian families would accept a Muslim in law with open arms. I know plenty of people from college and law school who said thy wouldn't marry a non white person because their parents would be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Racism at its best

Yep, this poster is every conservative's wet dream about why we shouldn't let any more of 'those people' into this country. Obsession with blood/cultural purity, defensiveness when called out, and unwillingness to accept wider American cultural norms.

I think the poster is off her rocker but don't tell me that white Christian families would accept a Muslim in law with open arms. I know plenty of people from college and law school who said thy wouldn't marry a non white person+ because their parents would be pissed.

This is NOT the norm. Bs .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Racism at its best

Yep, this poster is every conservative's wet dream about why we shouldn't let any more of 'those people' into this country. Obsession with blood/cultural purity, defensiveness when called out, and unwillingness to accept wider American cultural norms.

I think the poster is off her rocker but don't tell me that white Christian families would accept a Muslim in law with open arms. I know plenty of people from college and law school who said thy wouldn't marry a non white person+ because their parents would be pissed.

This is NOT the norm. Bs .

They would be more accepting if the girl converts . That's for sure.

[Anonymous]

Yep except I hear about this happening way more to Indians and Arabs . Not really comparable to the few crazy white American families.