For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

You're never planning to take a fun vacation with your children when they're adults? Look, all ACOD are looking for is a small bit of the normal family life they could have had. It's not unusual for families to vacation together.

I’m not planning on leaving my husband behind to go wine tasting in Europe with my adult child, no. That’s nuts. I would 100 percent divorce him over this kind of incestuous BS. As it stands, I’m younger, more attractive and entitled to half of everything he’s made in the last 10 years, which have by far been his peak earning years. If he prefers to spend his vacations galavanting around with adult children instead of being the husband and father he promised me he’d be, then it’s his loss. My kids probably won’t have him around when they have kids anyway. He’ll be too old to treat them to romantic trips to Spain and France or Arizona that you’re suggesting . It’s now or never. I’ll leave if he fails us because there’s no pot of gold for us at the end of this journey.

Maybe the second family kids are messed up because they are getting raised by someone like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

You're never planning to take a fun vacation with your children when they're adults? Look, all ACOD are looking for is a small bit of the normal family life they could have had. It's not unusual for families to vacation together.

I’m not planning on leaving my husband behind to go wine tasting in Europe with my adult child, no. That’s nuts. I would 100 percent divorce him over this kind of incestuous BS. As it stands, I’m younger, more attractive and entitled to half of everything he’s made in the last 10 years, which have by far been his peak earning years. If he prefers to spend his vacations galavanting around with adult children instead of being the husband and father he promised me he’d be, then it’s his loss. My kids probably won’t have him around when they have kids anyway. He’ll be too old to treat them to romantic trips to Spain and France or Arizona that you’re suggesting . It’s now or never. I’ll leave if he fails us because there’s no pot of gold for us at the end of this journey.

Maybe the second family kids are messed up because they are getting raised by someone like this.

It’s wild tfat a full in adult woman is so jealous of her H’s kids.

I wonder if he’s allowed to have any friend? Can he go on a vacation with his buddies ever without her? Wild!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

People with terrible parents nothing terrible parents. The fact that you think that adults going to Europe together is incestuous is quite frankly insane. No joke girlfriend. You really need some therapy.

Taking your adult kids wine tasting in Europe is text book incest. This is where daddy issues come from. It’s not my problem because DH takes me to Paris, not his adult kids. If that changes we’ll both know that it’s time to move on. My affairs are in order.

I traveled with my parents including tastings and I promise it did not end in an orgy, what is wrong with you? Do you just have no idea what a happy functional family looks like?

You traveled with your “parents”, not your dad. Who left your mom home with younger siblings.

My parents are divorced you dimwit! I travel with them both. And no one is doing anything incestuous. It’s called being family

Yes be family - your dad should be bringing along his wife and kids too. After all you are family no?

Don’t worry my dad divorced #2, and #3 too. They don’t want to come.

You have ivanka syndrome lol

What does that mean? That I’m tall rich and blonde? Because that’s all true.

Firstly I doubt you are that rich because you wouldn't be crying over daddy's inheritance and begging for trips to Europe. Nor would you be insecure over your new siblings.
Ivanka syndrome is mini wife syndrome

Do you actually think that the dads are paying for these trips? Omg

You have literally been crying over inheritance and not getting trips and daddy paying for grand kids. Mini wife syndrome
And agree with pp

No we are not talking about that. We are simply talking about our yearly family vacation that dad normally goes to but all of a sudden he can’t because his new wife won’t let him go like he’s not an adult anymore who can make his own decisions.

I also think it’s weird he can’t go visit his new grandchild for the weekend because his new wife won’t let him and yes he tells us that it’s causing a big fight.

This is bizzare. Why can’t you invite all of them? If you want to be treated like their family, you also need to treat them like family. Why can’t you go visit them! If it is a family vacation and includes young kids that’s is bizzare your kids can come but your half siblings cannot You are creating an impossible situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

People with terrible parents nothing terrible parents. The fact that you think that adults going to Europe together is incestuous is quite frankly insane. No joke girlfriend. You really need some therapy.

Taking your adult kids wine tasting in Europe is text book incest. This is where daddy issues come from. It’s not my problem because DH takes me to Paris, not his adult kids. If that changes we’ll both know that it’s time to move on. My affairs are in order.

I traveled with my parents including tastings and I promise it did not end in an orgy, what is wrong with you? Do you just have no idea what a happy functional family looks like?

You traveled with your “parents”, not your dad. Who left your mom home with younger siblings.

My parents are divorced you dimwit! I travel with them both. And no one is doing anything incestuous. It’s called being family

Yes be family - your dad should be bringing along his wife and kids too. After all you are family no?

Don’t worry my dad divorced #2, and #3 too. They don’t want to come.

You have ivanka syndrome lol

What does that mean? That I’m tall rich and blonde? Because that’s all true.

Firstly I doubt you are that rich because you wouldn't be crying over daddy's inheritance and begging for trips to Europe. Nor would you be insecure over your new siblings.
Ivanka syndrome is mini wife syndrome

I’m not crying over anything. I’m cackling at idiotic later wives who don’t think what happened to first wives can happen to them.

And I’m rich through the magic of marrying well, to a man my own age, in my 20s, and building wealth together. No alimony, no child support, the only second households are at the beach.

Marrying well...ok gold digger. Wait till he ditches you for number 2

Big talk from Marla Maples. By “marrying well” I mean a high quality man I met at my prestigious grad school. Happily married 12 years with 3 beautiful children and 2 thriving careers. Actually not unlike Ivanka!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

I’m not at all bitter? I come from parents with a long and happy marriage, and have been happily married myself for over twenty years. None of my siblings are divorced, my husband’s siblings aren’t married. I mean there is nothing for me to be bitter about, I guess. But what I am saying is that over the years I’ve known several families in this situation and universally the kids in the second family are messed up. Sorry my reality bothers you so much but I am only reporting on what I’ve seen play out multiple times.

How old are your kids? You sound super defensive and I have to guess it’s because your kids are still young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

People with terrible parents nothing terrible parents. The fact that you think that adults going to Europe together is incestuous is quite frankly insane. No joke girlfriend. You really need some therapy.

Taking your adult kids wine tasting in Europe is text book incest. This is where daddy issues come from. It’s not my problem because DH takes me to Paris, not his adult kids. If that changes we’ll both know that it’s time to move on. My affairs are in order.

I traveled with my parents including tastings and I promise it did not end in an orgy, what is wrong with you? Do you just have no idea what a happy functional family looks like?

You traveled with your “parents”, not your dad. Who left your mom home with younger siblings.

My parents are divorced you dimwit! I travel with them both. And no one is doing anything incestuous. It’s called being family

Yes be family - your dad should be bringing along his wife and kids too. After all you are family no?

Don’t worry my dad divorced #2, and #3 too. They don’t want to come.

You have ivanka syndrome lol

What does that mean? That I’m tall rich and blonde? Because that’s all true.

Firstly I doubt you are that rich because you wouldn't be crying over daddy's inheritance and begging for trips to Europe. Nor would you be insecure over your new siblings.
Ivanka syndrome is mini wife syndrome

Do you actually think that the dads are paying for these trips? Omg

You have literally been crying over inheritance and not getting trips and daddy paying for grand kids. Mini wife syndrome
And agree with pp

No we are not talking about that. We are simply talking about our yearly family vacation that dad normally goes to but all of a sudden he can’t because his new wife won’t let him go like he’s not an adult anymore who can make his own decisions.

I also think it’s weird he can’t go visit his new grandchild for the weekend because his new wife won’t let him and yes he tells us that it’s causing a big fight.

This is bizzare. Why can’t you invite all of them? If you want to be treated like their family, you also need to treat them like family. Why can’t you go visit them! If it is a family vacation and includes young kids that’s is bizzare your kids can come but your half siblings cannot You are creating an impossible situation.

Because they are in school, have travel sports, etc. Their vacations don’t align. New wife would rather do the beach with young kids. People have limited vacation time, but retired 65 year old dad doesn’t.

There are a million reasons why.

They can do a joint vacation sometime but not every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

People with terrible parents nothing terrible parents. The fact that you think that adults going to Europe together is incestuous is quite frankly insane. No joke girlfriend. You really need some therapy.

Taking your adult kids wine tasting in Europe is text book incest. This is where daddy issues come from. It’s not my problem because DH takes me to Paris, not his adult kids. If that changes we’ll both know that it’s time to move on. My affairs are in order.

I traveled with my parents including tastings and I promise it did not end in an orgy, what is wrong with you? Do you just have no idea what a happy functional family looks like?

You traveled with your “parents”, not your dad. Who left your mom home with younger siblings.

My parents are divorced you dimwit! I travel with them both. And no one is doing anything incestuous. It’s called being family

Yes be family - your dad should be bringing along his wife and kids too. After all you are family no?

Don’t worry my dad divorced #2, and #3 too. They don’t want to come.

You have ivanka syndrome lol

What does that mean? That I’m tall rich and blonde? Because that’s all true.

Firstly I doubt you are that rich because you wouldn't be crying over daddy's inheritance and begging for trips to Europe. Nor would you be insecure over your new siblings.
Ivanka syndrome is mini wife syndrome

Do you actually think that the dads are paying for these trips? Omg

You have literally been crying over inheritance and not getting trips and daddy paying for grand kids. Mini wife syndrome
And agree with pp

No we are not talking about that. We are simply talking about our yearly family vacation that dad normally goes to but all of a sudden he can’t because his new wife won’t let him go like he’s not an adult anymore who can make his own decisions.

I also think it’s weird he can’t go visit his new grandchild for the weekend because his new wife won’t let him and yes he tells us that it’s causing a big fight.

This is bizzare. Why can’t you invite all of them? If you want to be treated like their family, you also need to treat them like family. Why can’t you go visit them! If it is a family vacation and includes young kids that’s is bizzare your kids can come but your half siblings cannot You are creating an impossible situation.

Are you saying that you never go on a vacation without your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

People with terrible parents nothing terrible parents. The fact that you think that adults going to Europe together is incestuous is quite frankly insane. No joke girlfriend. You really need some therapy.

Taking your adult kids wine tasting in Europe is text book incest. This is where daddy issues come from. It’s not my problem because DH takes me to Paris, not his adult kids. If that changes we’ll both know that it’s time to move on. My affairs are in order.

I traveled with my parents including tastings and I promise it did not end in an orgy, what is wrong with you? Do you just have no idea what a happy functional family looks like?

You traveled with your “parents”, not your dad. Who left your mom home with younger siblings.

My parents are divorced you dimwit! I travel with them both. And no one is doing anything incestuous. It’s called being family.

Time to grow up and have a life and family of your own.

My dad is my family and we are happily visiting Greece this summer with my 2 brothers.

It’s sad people abandon by their parents don’t know it’s normal to vacation with their dads as adults.

You assume the kids want a relationship and want to go. By that age, usually, the mom's have destroyed the relationship. You are also talking about very wealthy families. Most don't regularly take trips like that. We don't. If we rarely vacation, I'm not paying for adults to go on vacation while I stay home.

Yes normal people want a relationship with their parents. I am sad that you don’t understand that. The trip doesn’t have to be to Europe it could be a weekend to Myrtle Beach to go golfing.

Ok, so, go visit them. If we aren’t taking family vacations, why would we pay for you to go on a yearly one because you are entitled and spoiled. You can go to his house for a weekend. You excluding his wife and child and then screaming about family. You are the problem and your mom raised you poorly.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

I’m not at all bitter? I come from parents with a long and happy marriage, and have been happily married myself for over twenty years. None of my siblings are divorced, my husband’s siblings aren’t married. I mean there is nothing for me to be bitter about, I guess. But what I am saying is that over the years I’ve known several families in this situation and universally the kids in the second family are messed up. Sorry my reality bothers you so much but I am only reporting on what I’ve seen play out multiple times.

How old are your kids? You sound super defensive and I have to guess it’s because your kids are still young.

Crazy, your reality. Usually the first round kids have abandonment and daddy issues, entitlement issues, failure to launch issues, etc. It's all over this thread.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?

All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person!

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+.

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.

People with terrible parents nothing terrible parents. The fact that you think that adults going to Europe together is incestuous is quite frankly insane. No joke girlfriend. You really need some therapy.

Taking your adult kids wine tasting in Europe is text book incest. This is where daddy issues come from. It’s not my problem because DH takes me to Paris, not his adult kids. If that changes we’ll both know that it’s time to move on. My affairs are in order.

I traveled with my parents including tastings and I promise it did not end in an orgy, what is wrong with you? Do you just have no idea what a happy functional family looks like?

You traveled with your “parents”, not your dad. Who left your mom home with younger siblings.

My parents are divorced you dimwit! I travel with them both. And no one is doing anything incestuous. It’s called being family

Yes be family - your dad should be bringing along his wife and kids too. After all you are family no?

Don’t worry my dad divorced #2, and #3 too. They don’t want to come.

You have ivanka syndrome lol

What does that mean? That I’m tall rich and blonde? Because that’s all true.

Firstly I doubt you are that rich because you wouldn't be crying over daddy's inheritance and begging for trips to Europe. Nor would you be insecure over your new siblings.
Ivanka syndrome is mini wife syndrome

Do you actually think that the dads are paying for these trips? Omg

You have literally been crying over inheritance and not getting trips and daddy paying for grand kids. Mini wife syndrome
And agree with pp

No we are not talking about that. We are simply talking about our yearly family vacation that dad normally goes to but all of a sudden he can’t because his new wife won’t let him go like he’s not an adult anymore who can make his own decisions.

I also think it’s weird he can’t go visit his new grandchild for the weekend because his new wife won’t let him and yes he tells us that it’s causing a big fight.

This is bizzare. Why can’t you invite all of them? If you want to be treated like their family, you also need to treat them like family. Why can’t you go visit them! If it is a family vacation and includes young kids that’s is bizzare your kids can come but your half siblings cannot You are creating an impossible situation.

Are you saying that you never go on a vacation without your spouse?

Alone, no never. We’d take our child but we haven’t vacationed in maybe five years. It will probably be at least another year or two before we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

I’m not at all bitter? I come from parents with a long and happy marriage, and have been happily married myself for over twenty years. None of my siblings are divorced, my husband’s siblings aren’t married. I mean there is nothing for me to be bitter about, I guess. But what I am saying is that over the years I’ve known several families in this situation and universally the kids in the second family are messed up. Sorry my reality bothers you so much but I am only reporting on what I’ve seen play out multiple times.

How old are your kids? You sound super defensive and I have to guess it’s because your kids are still young.

Crazy, your reality. Usually the first round kids have abandonment and daddy issues, entitlement issues, failure to launch issues, etc. It's all over this thread.

Of course they do when mom refuses to let them see dad and say he’s a deadbeat and all kinds of other lies to justify her behavior.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the whole thread but I will say it sucks for the kid(s) in the second family. DH is an only in his dad’s second family. His siblings are roughly the same age as his mom and he is the same age as his nieces/nephews. He went to the same high school with them and grew up being teased about being an uncle to classmates. He took care of his dad when no one else showed up (with good reason) and he will inherit everything (per my mother in law, who says the first family was taken care of by the alimony he used to pay their mother 🙄). It’s uncomfortable. The great grandkids are the same ages as the grandkids but no one in the family likes us so it’s not like our kids have aunt/uncle or cousin relationships. When FIL was alive it was hard to watch him gush over our kids knowing he ignored his first set of grandkids because he was busy on his second round of parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life.

I’m not a second or first wife or a child, but I imagine it’s in part because people see how messed up the second generation of kids usually ends up being in these situations. It’s hard to watch an innocent child get so messed up.

How are the second set messed up? They are growing up with two parents in a hopefully loving home. In our situation, mom cheated, choose to leave dad to live with the AP so it wasn't Dad's choice. She got to move on. He fully supported her and the kids despite how poorly she treated him.

I don’t know how they get messed up, just that they do get messed up. Drugs, disaster in the teen years, etc.

I mean for basically every family I know in this situation, the kids in the second round end up being disasters. It’s honestly really sad.

You sound bitter and that’s absolutely not true. In our situation the first round it pretty messed up.

I’m not at all bitter? I come from parents with a long and happy marriage, and have been happily married myself for over twenty years. None of my siblings are divorced, my husband’s siblings aren’t married. I mean there is nothing for me to be bitter about, I guess. But what I am saying is that over the years I’ve known several families in this situation and universally the kids in the second family are messed up. Sorry my reality bothers you so much but I am only reporting on what I’ve seen play out multiple times.

How old are your kids? You sound super defensive and I have to guess it’s because your kids are still young.

Crazy, your reality. Usually the first round kids have abandonment and daddy issues, entitlement issues, failure to launch issues, etc. It's all over this thread.

You didn’t answer the question. How old are your kids?