Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in my late twenties when my dad had a baby, and I don’t get all the hate, honestly. It’s not like I was trying to spend a ton of time with him by that point anyway; we lived in different states and even if we’d been physically closer I was more inclined to be going out and having fun, visiting occasionally or for holidays. I definitely was not spending a weekend a month with my dad in my twenties! I also wasn’t counting on some grand inheritance. You guys sound like you are looking at it from the point of view of a cheated on first spouse, but I didn’t feel that way. I thought it was kind of a dumb move at that age, but whatever, wasn’t my life. [/quote]

Perhaps your perspective is a little bit skewed, since you don’t really have a close relationship with your father. Have you ever thought that other people have really close relationships with their father and they don’t just see them occasionally for holidays?[/quote]
All the more reason you should want them to be happy. If you’re living your own life, building your own career, pursuing your own adult relationships, you should be mature enough to allow your single father the same grace without causing guilt. For what? You’re a grown person![/quote]

All the more reason a 2nd wife should want them to be happy. These children have built a life and a career and have strong adult relationships which includes their dad.

A 2nd wife should be mature enough to allow their fully grown adult husband the same grace without causing guilt for … flying to Paris to enjoy a cafe, or Spain to taste wine, or Arizona for a long weekend golfing? You’re a grown person, you should understand These are normal positive ways adults interact with their father (even if you are at home watching tv with toddlers) … you’ll have your day in Europe with daddy when your kid is 20+. [/quote]

This is absurd. It sounds very incestuous. If my husband went wine tasting or to Paris with an adult child and left me home with a toddler I’d be meeting with a divorce lawyer and ready to serve him when he returned. He could forever continue his incestuous  relationship with his adult kid for all I care. He would owe me so much in child support and a property settlement that his trips to Arizona and Europe would be over forever, and he’d never be able to retire.[/quote]

You're never planning to take a fun vacation with your children when they're adults?  Look, all ACOD are looking for is a small bit of the normal family life they could have had. It's not unusual for families to vacation together. [/quote]

I’m not planning on leaving my husband behind to go wine tasting in Europe with my adult child, no. That’s nuts. I would 100 percent divorce him over this kind of incestuous BS. As it stands, I’m younger, more attractive and entitled to half of everything he’s made in the last 10 years, which have by far been his peak earning years. If he prefers to spend his vacations galavanting around with adult children instead of being the husband and father he promised me he’d be, then it’s his loss. My kids probably won’t have him around when they have kids anyway. He’ll be too old to treat them to romantic trips to Spain and France or Arizona that you’re suggesting . It’s now or never. I’ll leave if he fails us because there’s no pot of gold for us at the end of this journey. [/quote]

Maybe the second family kids are messed up because they are getting raised by someone like this. [/quote]

It’s wild tfat a full in adult woman is so jealous of her H’s kids.

I wonder if he’s allowed to have any friend? Can he go on a vacation with his buddies ever without her? Wild![/quote]

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