Am I overreacting/rude with this text?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was not a microaggression.

Yes, it is. OP, I think it's perfectly fine to let your friend know how you feel, especially if this is a pattern rather than a one-off. But you should have told her right then and there. Not later, via text. That's kinda lame.

So any disagreements between friends who are not both white are mico-aggressive in nature?

Disagreement isn’t a microaggression. People of different races disagree all the time, and that’s normal. The issue in the original example wasn’t disagreement; it was credibility. The OP, a Black woman, shared something based on her education and career experience, and wasn’t believed. The same information was accepted once a white man validated it.

My guess is that friend would have conceded based on any random stranger having interrupted (which is weird in itself) and realized she must be wrong.

This absolutely. There are a number of people who are oblivious to the fact that money and race factor into healthcare outcomes like OPs friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was not a microaggression.

Yes, it is. OP, I think it's perfectly fine to let your friend know how you feel, especially if this is a pattern rather than a one-off. But you should have told her right then and there. Not later, via text. That's kinda lame.

So any disagreements between friends who are not both white are mico-aggressive in nature?

Disagreement isn’t a microaggression. People of different races disagree all the time, and that’s normal. The issue in the original example wasn’t disagreement; it was credibility. The OP, a Black woman, shared something based on her education and career experience, and wasn’t believed. The same information was accepted once a white man validated it.

My guess is that friend would have conceded based on any random stranger having interrupted (which is weird in itself) and realized she must be wrong.

We can guess all day about hypotheticals. What happened was that she didn’t believe her, but did believe him.

That credibility gap is the issue.

Some people believe anything a man says. 🤷

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That was not a microaggression.

+1
And if I were your friend OP and received your text I would no longer want to remain friends with you.
You are beyond wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I doubt she even believed the guy at the other table. She was probably embarrassed that you were causing enough of a scene that someone else intervened and just agreed to keep the peace. You seem exhausting.

OP here, no scene was made. We were talking at normal volumes and we weren't upset. It was a friendly conversation.

You're reading way too much into this. I am not interested, at all, in having a conversation with some random person at a bar who just overheard my conversation and interjected himself into it. In your friend's situation, I'd have just said I "agreed" with him to make him shut up and go away. I don't want to debate with randos at a bar in the same way I'd have a discussion with a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I doubt she even believed the guy at the other table. She was probably embarrassed that you were causing enough of a scene that someone else intervened and just agreed to keep the peace. You seem exhausting.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are the two of you friends with each other? It sounds like you are not compatible as friends and you are both kind of rude to each other and push each other's buttons.

Hush. All women are fake friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was not a microaggression.

Yes, it is. OP, I think it's perfectly fine to let your friend know how you feel, especially if this is a pattern rather than a one-off. But you should have told her right then and there. Not later, via text. That's kinda lame.

So any disagreements between friends who are not both white are mico-aggressive in nature?

Disagreement isn’t a microaggression. People of different races disagree all the time, and that’s normal. The issue in the original example wasn’t disagreement; it was credibility. The OP, a Black woman, shared something based on her education and career experience, and wasn’t believed. The same information was accepted once a white man validated it.

My guess is that friend would have conceded based on any random stranger having interrupted (which is weird in itself) and realized she must be wrong.

We can guess all day about hypotheticals. What happened was that she didn’t believe her, but did believe him.

That credibility gap is the issue.

Some people believe anything a man says. 🤷

The moon is composed of mainly feta cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are the two of you friends with each other? It sounds like you are not compatible as friends and you are both kind of rude to each other and push each other's buttons.

Hush. All women are fake friends

sadly, this is kind of true

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m with you.
Put aside the part about the gentleman chiming in, why on earth would she push back on the factual statement you made? Mortality rates being higher in the US, and even higher for WOC in US, is something that’s been in the news for years. And it’s your field, your area of expertise!
So I think the question isn’t why does she believe a strange man over you, it’s why wouldn’t she believe what you say. Why doesn’t she find you credible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was not a microaggression.

Yes, it is. OP, I think it's perfectly fine to let your friend know how you feel, especially if this is a pattern rather than a one-off. But you should have told her right then and there. Not later, via text. That's kinda lame.

So any disagreements between friends who are not both white are mico-aggressive in nature?

Disagreement isn’t a microaggression. People of different races disagree all the time, and that’s normal. The issue in the original example wasn’t disagreement; it was credibility. The OP, a Black woman, shared something based on her education and career experience, and wasn’t believed. The same information was accepted once a white man validated it.

My guess is that friend would have conceded based on any random stranger having interrupted (which is weird in itself) and realized she must be wrong.

We can guess all day about hypotheticals. What happened was that she didn’t believe her, but did believe him.

That credibility gap is the issue.

Some people believe anything a man says. 🤷

The moon is composed of mainly feta cheese.

I am a POC and a Cheesemonger and I am here to tell you that it is made out of Stilton, you racist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are the two of you friends with each other? It sounds like you are not compatible as friends and you are both kind of rude to each other and push each other's buttons.

Hush. All women are fake friends

sadly, this is kind of true

Sad for you maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are the two of you friends with each other? It sounds like you are not compatible as friends and you are both kind of rude to each other and push each other's buttons.

Hush. All women are fake friends

sadly, this is kind of true

Sad for you maybe.

Yeah well I'm a guy but I grew up with 5 sisters so I notice things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are the two of you friends with each other? It sounds like you are not compatible as friends and you are both kind of rude to each other and push each other's buttons.

Hush. All women are fake friends

sadly, this is kind of true

Sad for you maybe.

Yeah well I'm a guy but I grew up with 5 sisters so I notice things

I am not a fake friend. Maybe fifty percent of women are.

[Anonymous]

I feel strongly that there are times where you communicate verbally and not in writing and this was one of those times.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that text is rude and your are overreacting.