Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are afraid of being a mother because they have a judgmental, unsupportive, small-minded one.

[Anonymous]

They’re both washed up. Next…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend like this; she and her sister are both single and childless in their 40s, despite both being beautiful, brilliant, accomplished, kind and lovely people.

The reason is that their father was a domineering critical overbearing ahole whom their mother tried and failed to leave. Usually when both children don’t marry there is a reason related to the family of origin; so instead of worrying about them, search inside yourself, your marriage and your parenting for why they feel more comfortable alone.

My younger sister and I both married at 37ish - I had one child at 39, but was on the fence until about 35 - not because I don’t like children (I actually really like kids and babies), but because I knew it would completely change my world. My sister is child free - but also likes kids.

Out parents marriage was not one I would want to be in - my father was highly critical and needed everything and everyone in the house to revolve around him. He also fostered sibling rivalry between my older brother and me.

And he repeatedly expressed the same sentiment you are expressing now.

My mom kept pointing out we were doing incredibly well, we’re perfectly capable of not only taking care of ourselves, but thriving while doing so.

I adore my child, don’t regret her for a hot second. But I also realized I married a man far too much like my father - as different as he is on paper, and I’m contemplating divorce.

My sister is married to a “scrub” - he’s basically living off of her, and doesn’t seem to be to “helpful” around the house. But she’s happy.

So be careful of what you wish for.

Also, the women I know like your daughters are happy, live interesting lives, and are more secure than the vast majority of women with kids I know.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the single one is gay and just doesn’t want to out herself to you.

[Anonymous]

My sister is about to turn 50 and she is loving her childless life! She dates here and there but mostly just lives life to the fullest - from traveling to dancing to being in a band to basically doing whatever she wants. I have 3 kids - whom I love - but don't think for a minute that my sister is not as happy - or happier - than me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a mom, your concern is legit, you live them and are used to looking out for them.

However, times have changed and if they build a good career, invest money, have a good support system and engaging hobbies, they'll be fine on their own.

That being said, you can push this envelope once more even at the risk of being seen as a nagging meddler. Its worth it but then you'll have to hold your peace forever.

Ask them if there is any way you can help if they want to explore this avenue before you closing this chapter? If you can arrange any blind dates through a matrimonial service, help out with marriage expenses, help with freezing eggs etc. Tell them that you feel your mom didn't do it for your sister and you don't want to repeat this and carry this guilt. You are all adults and they can explain their reasons so you can better understand this matter and move on one way or other.

OP is only looking out for herself. Her daughters are nearly 40-year-old grown-ass women! Op needs to accept she's not getting grandkids and get the hell on with what's left of her life. Actually, if she truly wants to help her daughters she should make sure hers and her husband's affairs are in order, make sure they have coverage for nursing home. home health expences. Have the house cleared out of junk etc

While this could be the case, it could also be the case that OP is genuinely concerned that they will regret missing out on something that she clearly loved. It doesn’t change what she should do (respect their decisions) but it may not be all about grandkids.

It may not be all about grandkids, but it is all about her no matter how you try to spin it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most old fashioned loving parents worry their unmarried kids would end up lonely and unhappy. Why is it so hard to believe that there are loving and faring parents out there? Not everyone is looking out for themselves, if anything, unmarried and childfree kids have more time and money for elderly parents so kids not marrying is actually beneficial for parents. OP sounds like a concerned parent.

There are loving parents, but this doesn't come from a place of love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a mom, your concern is legit, you live them and are used to looking out for them.

However, times have changed and if they build a good career, invest money, have a good support system and engaging hobbies, they'll be fine on their own.

That being said, you can push this envelope once more even at the risk of being seen as a nagging meddler. Its worth it but then you'll have to hold your peace forever.

Ask them if there is any way you can help if they want to explore this avenue before you closing this chapter? If you can arrange any blind dates through a matrimonial service, help out with marriage expenses, help with freezing eggs etc. Tell them that you feel your mom didn't do it for your sister and you don't want to repeat this and carry this guilt. You are all adults and they can explain their reasons so you can better understand this matter and move on one way or other.

OP is only looking out for herself. Her daughters are nearly 40-year-old grown-ass women! Op needs to accept she's not getting grandkids and get the hell on with what's left of her life. Actually, if she truly wants to help her daughters she should make sure hers and her husband's affairs are in order, make sure they have coverage for nursing home. home health expences. Have the house cleared out of junk etc

While this could be the case, it could also be the case that OP is genuinely concerned that they will regret missing out on something that she clearly loved. It doesn’t change what she should do (respect their decisions) but it may not be all about grandkids.

OP is a man. Geez, the level of reading comprehension gets worse here every day.

Well that makes it worse because not only is OP a busybody he's a misogynist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a mom, your concern is legit, you live them and are used to looking out for them.

However, times have changed and if they build a good career, invest money, have a good support system and engaging hobbies, they'll be fine on their own.

That being said, you can push this envelope once more even at the risk of being seen as a nagging meddler. Its worth it but then you'll have to hold your peace forever.

Ask them if there is any way you can help if they want to explore this avenue before you closing this chapter? If you can arrange any blind dates through a matrimonial service, help out with marriage expenses, help with freezing eggs etc. Tell them that you feel your mom didn't do it for your sister and you don't want to repeat this and carry this guilt. You are all adults and they can explain their reasons so you can better understand this matter and move on one way or other.

OP is only looking out for herself. Her daughters are nearly 40-year-old grown-ass women! Op needs to accept she's not getting grandkids and get the hell on with what's left of her life. Actually, if she truly wants to help her daughters she should make sure hers and her husband's affairs are in order, make sure they have coverage for nursing home. home health expences. Have the house cleared out of junk etc

While this could be the case, it could also be the case that OP is genuinely concerned that they will regret missing out on something that she clearly loved. It doesn’t change what she should do (respect their decisions) but it may not be all about grandkids.

OP is a man. Geez, the level of reading comprehension gets worse here every day.

Well that makes it worse because not only is OP a busybody he's a misogynist.

Still doesn’t excuse your lack of reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be so, so sad, if my kids didn't have kids. I've told both of them I would look after their babies!

Big hugs, OP. My cousin had her first at 37, after years of saying she didn't want children! She's not married, but she has a long-term boyfriend.

Here's hoping.

I am a PP. I actually hope my kids are not dumb enough to have kids and put themselves in a bad situation of having to do two full-time jobs. (Plus, I don't want to be a grandparent.)

Several of my friends had first kids 40-44. 37 is not old (I had one then...one-time slip in years).

With your genes, the world certainly hopes your kids will not have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a mom, your concern is legit, you live them and are used to looking out for them.

However, times have changed and if they build a good career, invest money, have a good support system and engaging hobbies, they'll be fine on their own.

That being said, you can push this envelope once more even at the risk of being seen as a nagging meddler. Its worth it but then you'll have to hold your peace forever.

Ask them if there is any way you can help if they want to explore this avenue before you closing this chapter? If you can arrange any blind dates through a matrimonial service, help out with marriage expenses, help with freezing eggs etc. Tell them that you feel your mom didn't do it for your sister and you don't want to repeat this and carry this guilt. You are all adults and they can explain their reasons so you can better understand this matter and move on one way or other.

OP is only looking out for herself. Her daughters are nearly 40-year-old grown-ass women! Op needs to accept she's not getting grandkids and get the hell on with what's left of her life. Actually, if she truly wants to help her daughters she should make sure hers and her husband's affairs are in order, make sure they have coverage for nursing home. home health expences. Have the house cleared out of junk etc

OP is a mam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a mom, your concern is legit, you live them and are used to looking out for them.

However, times have changed and if they build a good career, invest money, have a good support system and engaging hobbies, they'll be fine on their own.

That being said, you can push this envelope once more even at the risk of being seen as a nagging meddler. Its worth it but then you'll have to hold your peace forever.

Ask them if there is any way you can help if they want to explore this avenue before you closing this chapter? If you can arrange any blind dates through a matrimonial service, help out with marriage expenses, help with freezing eggs etc. Tell them that you feel your mom didn't do it for your sister and you don't want to repeat this and carry this guilt. You are all adults and they can explain their reasons so you can better understand this matter and move on one way or other.

OP is only looking out for herself. Her daughters are nearly 40-year-old grown-ass women! Op needs to accept she's not getting grandkids and get the hell on with what's left of her life. Actually, if she truly wants to help her daughters she should make sure hers and her husband's affairs are in order, make sure they have coverage for nursing home. home health expences. Have the house cleared out of junk etc

While this could be the case, it could also be the case that OP is genuinely concerned that they will regret missing out on something that she clearly loved. It doesn’t change what she should do (respect their decisions) but it may not be all about grandkids.

OP is a man. Why do people assume thay only women post here even when the OP reveals or implies his gender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you can do. It is kind of late to have these conversations.

These conversations shouldn't be had at all. You can't dictate what makes other people happy.

[Anonymous]

It is too late OP. You clearly failed to model a happy marriage and parenting to your children. Back in the day people who had terrible role models would still get married and pregnant because they felt they had no other choice. Not so today. If you want your kids to have kids you have to influence them from childhood itself, to show them it’s a happy lifestyle.

Accept your failure and move on. All the good men are taken, so don’t try to force them to settle for some random losers. They won’t listen to you anyway, they are too stubborn by now, and it will ruin your relationship with them. If you want to do a good deed then advise parents of younger children to not make the same mistakes you did.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you haven’t already, adopt a cat, find a hobby, and MYOB.