Is this all there is to life?

[Anonymous]

I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

[Anonymous]

A nanny? Houskeeper? And a husband who helps out? Be thankful for what you DO have, and MAKE time for the interests that you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A nanny? Houskeeper? And a husband who helps out? Be thankful for what you DO have, and MAKE time for the interests that you mentioned.

Yes, I am aware there are others who have it harder. No need to go skipping down that road. My point is to reach out to other moms. One can't really admit in real life that being a wife and mom kind of sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

Too bad you got married and had a kid so young. You certainly could have packed in another 5 years of actual living / embracing your freedom. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

Too bad you got married and had a kid so young. You certainly could have packed in another 5 years of actual living / embracing your freedom. Oh well.

So you postpone it all until 35. Assuming infertility doesn't screw you, what then? Life ends at 35?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have to start saying no to some family events and occasionally take a mental health day for yourself. Toddlers can be brutal.

[Anonymous]

I am single, but love bring a mom to my almost 2 year old. Some people do like it!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

Too bad you got married and had a kid so young. You certainly could have packed in another 5 years of actual living / embracing your freedom. Oh well.

So you postpone it all until 35. Assuming infertility doesn't screw you, what then? Life ends at 35?

Just don't do it. My single over 40 friends are ecstatically happy and living the good life. They travel, look great, and sleep with whoever they want. Marriage/kids is a lie society perpetuates so we'll continue to populate the earth. OP fell for it.

[Anonymous]

I don't have time to respond at length, but I totally hear you. I wanted to quickly share that if life seems tough with one kid, do not have a second child. It is so much harder and families with one kid seems to get their lives back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

This is your problem, right here (bolded.)

You've bought into the lie that you can have it all, at least all at the same time.

Welcome to reality.

Something's got to give, OP, and it sounds like it should be your "demanding job that eats up a lot of your week." Your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

Too bad you got married and had a kid so young. You certainly could have packed in another 5 years of actual living / embracing your freedom. Oh well.

So you postpone it all until 35. Assuming infertility doesn't screw you, what then? Life ends at 35?

Just don't do it. My single over 40 friends are ecstatically happy and living the good life. They travel, look great, and sleep with whoever they want. Marriage/kids is a lie society perpetuates so we'll continue to populate the earth. OP fell for it.

No, they're not.

They are doing all of those things in compensation for not having a family. Check back with them when they are 60 and let them tell you about it.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely start declining invitations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

Imagine how single working mother feel =-0 one thing I learned from my single working mother was that you need to create balance in your life. You need to block out time to do things for yourself. To have fun. To date your husband. This will not happen on its own. You will need to be intentional about it.

[Anonymous]

It'll get easier as your child gets older and more independent. 5 will be easier, 8 will be much easier, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 31 year old married mother of a toddler and I hate it. I work a demanding job that eats up a lot of my week. When I get home, it's time for chores and negotiating child care with DH. We have a housekeeper who comes a couple of times a week and we have a nanny who provides reliable care for our child. But it's still so damn hard.

In the little time I have to myself, I am trying to maintain friendships and see family and attend 50-11 engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, baby christenings/brises, birthday parties etc. Every time I turn around, it's some holiday that I should spend with family or they'll complain. I am also supposed to find time to network and build my visibility in my profession. Oh and DH and I haven't had sex in weeks, so time to get on that. Even vacations are stressful because the to-do list is just waiting for me and DS's sleep/nap routine gets messed up.

Is this all there is to life as a married working mother?

I remember the days when I backpacked and traveled and had interests and time for those interests. My job still sucked, but the time I had outside it was mine. I remember when I always had fun plans. I remember when I had energy. I am still slim and toned and I look put together, but I am not enjoying this life at all.

I know there are so many perfect moms on this board (whatever). For those who are not posing, however, can you relate? How do you manage so that life is not just an endless cycle of work- and chore-filled days?

Too bad you got married and had a kid so young. You certainly could have packed in another 5 years of actual living / embracing your freedom. Oh well.

So you postpone it all until 35. Assuming infertility doesn't screw you, what then? Life ends at 35?

Just don't do it. My single over 40 friends are ecstatically happy and living the good life. They travel, look great, and sleep with whoever they want. Marriage/kids is a lie society perpetuates so we'll continue to populate the earth. OP fell for it.

No, they're not.

They are doing all of those things in compensation for not having a family. Check back with them when they are 60 and let them tell you about it.

The fact is you CAN be happy w/o a spouse and kids. I don't know why so many people doubt this. More people are single/childless now than any other time. Not all of them are miserable.