Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if my clothes smelled of cigarette smoke? That smell longers

I don’t care if you take your shoes off or not but if you smoke, stay out of my house. You are disgusting.

But you invited me and I don't smoke but before coming to your party I was another party where many people were smoking and you know how that smell just sticks to you.

Then you're a bad guest. Showing up to someone's house reeking of smoke is disgusting. If you're going to go hang out with smokers then shower and change your clothes before going elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

Being a good host and being a good guest aren't the same thing. Ask Emily Post.

https://emilypost.com/advice/party-etiquette-tips-for-hosts-and-guests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

I just disagree that asking someone to remove their shoes inside your home is automatically considered being a bad host. Being a host AND being a guest come with general etiquette and responsibilities. If you are shaming one side, you really ought to be shaming the other side, and all the people who are horrible guests in other's homes.

Asking someone at a social function like a dinner to take their shoes off with no warning is rude. If we lived in a country where everyone took their shoes off all the time, you wouldn't have to ask because it would be expected. But here it is not the norm in many social circles. So unless you know all your guests would be expecting to remove their shoes (in which case you wouldn't have to ask...), if you fail to alert them to it ahead of time, it is indeed rude. If you warn people before the party and they still insist on wearing their shoes, then that is rude of them (barring a physical disability issue). But I have never been to a party where people have been asked to take their shoes off. Not once. And a lot of people have said the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

Agreed. Why people think their rules should override the homeowners requests is so bizarre to me.

For crying out loud. People are saying they would be annoyed to have to remove their dress shoes with no warning. Just like many people would probably be annoyed to show up at a dinner and find out no alcohol will be served. I don't drink a lot and I keep my feet in good shape but if I (a) brought a bottle of wine to the party thinking I'd get to enjoy it and paid for an Uber to drive us because we expected to drink and (b) wore a long dress or pants that will now drag on the floor without my heels, I'm going to be annoyed. That doesn't mean I'm going to ignore your house rules, but as a guest I would think you were being really rigid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

Nobody is saying that guests shouldn’t follow your rules. What we are saying is that if you put your rather arbitrary rules ahead of your guests’ comfort and enjoyment, you’re not a good host. So I would of course follow your rules but if I was made to feel completely uncomfortable at your home, I would know to decline future invitations from you, because you clearly aren’t comfortable with other people being in your home.

I keep a shoes-off house myself. But I would never dream of asking a large number of adults I had taken it upon myself to invite to my home for a party to take their shoes off. Their comfort is more important to me than the cleanliness of my floors for that one evening.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

I think shoes off for 40 or so people is different. My friend who is a shoeless house had her party outside because she didn't want to deal with it.

I live on the west coast. This party would definitely be outside so it would be a non issue. But what do people do in snowy wintery places? Do people insist on wearing their slushy salty shoes inside someone’s house to hide their ingrown toenails?

No, of course not.

The fact that you have to suggest anyone thinks that way should tip you off to the weakness of your argument, but I'm betting it won't.

OP, just say on the invitation that yours is a shoes-off household for everyone, including guests. Then people can decide whether they want to be guests or not.

Then what do they do with their nasty shoes in the winter?

Have you heard about winter boots? No, they aren't worn in the house. Most people wear socks when it's cold.

So they keep their boots at the door? And then what go barefoot or in socks? Sounds like people can manage without footwear just fine.

Socks, which a lot probably aren't wearing now. Sometimes people bring shoes with them if they can't be without support for long.

Interesting so they should be easily able to adapt to this because they already do it for part of the year.

I grew up on the west coast so I can understand, as I would assume you could, that people don't tend to wear socks with heels, sandals, or any other number of shoes, Are you people really this dense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

I think shoes off for 40 or so people is different. My friend who is a shoeless house had her party outside because she didn't want to deal with it.

I live on the west coast. This party would definitely be outside so it would be a non issue. But what do people do in snowy wintery places? Do people insist on wearing their slushy salty shoes inside someone’s house to hide their ingrown toenails?

No, of course not.

The fact that you have to suggest anyone thinks that way should tip you off to the weakness of your argument, but I'm betting it won't.

OP, just say on the invitation that yours is a shoes-off household for everyone, including guests. Then people can decide whether they want to be guests or not.

Then what do they do with their nasty shoes in the winter?

Have you heard about winter boots? No, they aren't worn in the house. Most people wear socks when it's cold.

So they keep their boots at the door? And then what go barefoot or in socks? Sounds like people can manage without footwear just fine.

Socks, which a lot probably aren't wearing now. Sometimes people bring shoes with them if they can't be without support for long.

Interesting so they should be easily able to adapt to this because they already do it for part of the year.

Agreed. Bizarre how people are acting like this is some insane concept when half the US probably does it all winter anyways

Bizarre how people fail to understand that most women aren't wearing socks in summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

We live in Virginia. We attend many social functions a year. We have never been asked to take our shoes off. The fact that you are struggling to understand that people are different from you is kind of shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Typical cracker response

Find me a dinner party with everyone's shoes off. How stupid and btw, pretty base. Some false idea about cleanliness- do you enjoy athlete's foot or warts? I think not.
Grow up. Put your damn clothes on and, yeah, keep them on.

You are unhinged.

Not the PP, but the idea of sitting around a formal dining room table with everyone's bare feet hanging out underneath is very odd to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

What? My kids have attended three schools so far and not a single one of them requires a change of shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Typical cracker response

Find me a dinner party with everyone's shoes off. How stupid and btw, pretty base. Some false idea about cleanliness- do you enjoy athlete's foot or warts? I think not.
Grow up. Put your damn clothes on and, yeah, keep them on.

You are unhinged.

Nope, am shoed, and completely hinged. It's very poor etiquette to take off shoes at a gathering.

Op here. The school is majority white. I have decided not to host. I would rather not have people over than have strangers in my house with shoes. The families are nice enough. The school promotes community. We can get together outside of my home.

OP, I think it's smart of you to decide not to host. Or maybe host something outside since it sounds like you have a nice house. Or something at another venue. Since you acknowledge this will cause you stress, it makes sense just not to host. I hope you enjoy your new school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

Agreed. This isn't uncommon anymore. The few people who are so rabid to keep their shoes on likely know many people who do this, they just refuse to associate with them lest someone see their nasty feet

Op here. I think it is different if I am inviting friends or our kids’ friends to our home vs complete strangers.

We keep an immaculate home. I will just invite people we actually have a relationship with or want a relationship with who would respect our wishes. I am so glad I actually asked this question on here. I thought most people would say that it would be no big deal but obviously many people would find the request to take their shoes off offensive.

[Anonymous]

I think you need a seatbelt volunteer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Typical cracker response

Find me a dinner party with everyone's shoes off. How stupid and btw, pretty base. Some false idea about cleanliness- do you enjoy athlete's foot or warts? I think not.
Grow up. Put your damn clothes on and, yeah, keep them on.

You are unhinged.

Nope, am shoed, and completely hinged. It's very poor etiquette to take off shoes at a gathering.

Op here. The school is majority white. I have decided not to host. I would rather not have people over than have strangers in my house with shoes. The families are nice enough. The school promotes community. We can get together outside of my home.

OP, I think it's smart of you to decide not to host. Or maybe host something outside since it sounds like you have a nice house. Or something at another venue. Since you acknowledge this will cause you stress, it makes sense just not to host. I hope you enjoy your new school!

Our house is built for hosting both inside and outside. When we bought the house, I thought we would host many grand parties and then Covid happened. Some of our neighbors host lavish parties, fundraisers, etc and yes, they all are parties with shoes.