Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you did zero research before going??

This is on you or you are a troll

💯

[Anonymous]

Do you even live in DC?
Maybe you need a different forum for your stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. More pictures of inside the house. There is an ac in MILs room that is new. It is towards the top of the wall and has a cover over it. All the furniture has locks on them and they use keys to open everything. The property also has a series of padlocks to get out. The only entrance to the house also uses a padlock at night. There isn't a back door. There are two bathrooms. One is a full bath but no bathtub and another one is a half bath. My MIL probably thinks I am weird for taking pictures of the house.

https://ibb.co/GpBgRVd
https://ibb.co/My0vZbB
https://ibb.co/qjqd3Lg
https://ibb.co/tc4BG6P
https://ibb.co/yXNsXxG
https://ibb.co/7SyWXvj
https://ibb.co/rt1HmXq
https://ibb.co/yyRy8qV
https://ibb.co/NSdQS4z

Oh boy OP - I am definitely in the "make an adventure of it now and make sure you're only there for two weeks next time" but I can see why you are feeling trapped and stressed.

I'm from India. Op's post made me realize that what is normal for me - like having keys in cupboards, locks for everything, waiting for hours for a doctor visit (this is kind of like emergency room visits in the US, but done daily) is weird for someone else not from the country. We have maids, servants, random people coming and going, so the lock thing probably started as a way to prevent theft

Her home does have a decent china cabinet, crockery, a sofa, dining table etc so they are not poor. It's just the clutter and other things that add up.

I am PP - and yes, it's the clutter! It looks like a hoarding house. I don't think this is a cultural thing, I think this family thrives in clutter - and without any escape, I can see why OP is feeling like she's feeling. My American in-laws have an extremely cluttered house, and if we didn't have a car to go take off in at least once a day - plus me being able to go for walks from their house - I think I'd lose my mind. Heck even without the clutter, a month is a long time to spend stuck in a small house with other people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're right that your DH has a completely outdated view of Bangladesh.

I don't know why all the India posters are chiming in here. I have been to all three - Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan - and stayed with middle class, lower middle class, and (in my childhood) village middle class. The three countries have similar disparities. The "feel" of middle class or UMC city life is very different from rural/village life.

The pics OP has posted are very real, and reflect middle class RURAL life. Not typical city life for Bangladesh. My relatives were very similar to OP's ILs back in the 80s and 90s but have now moved to the cities where there are shopping malls, grocery stores, credit cards, nice restaurants, insta-worthy cafes, and even amusement parks. These are not just for the uber rich either.

Unfortunately OP, and the Indian posters, and painting Bangladesh to be this shithole of a country when it really has a lot of beauty and modernity.

Nobody doubts this. OP is having a village experience, middle class, and there's nothing strange about that life in any country. She can't get to the beautiful vibrant parts because of access, detailed at great length in these pages. So she's sharing what she sees. It's fine. Glad it's not me though.

[Anonymous]

Personally I'm enjoying this thread, as a Jewish mom in Boston. It feels very genuine and I'm learning a lot about life in rural Bangladesh. I especially enjoyed the pictures. I cannot imagine cooking in that kitchen. Thanks op for the entertainment. I hope your trip goes smoothly and you don't get sick and you enjoy more of it as time goes on. A fascinating experience.

[Anonymous]

Jeff needs to move this back to OFF TOPIC or set up a SE ASIANS chat room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeff needs to move this back to OFF TOPIC or set up a SE ASIANS chat room.

SE Asians are Chinese, Vietnamese, Koreans, Japanese

South Asians - Indians, Pakistanis, Srilankans, Bangladeshis, people referred to as Desis in many forums.

[Anonymous]

Given the number of Desis in these threads, a Desi sub forum is not a bad idea at all. Similar to the Abcdesis on Reddit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeff needs to move this back to OFF TOPIC or set up a SE ASIANS chat room.

SE Asians are Chinese, Vietnamese, Koreans, Japanese

South Asians - Indians, Pakistanis, Srilankans, Bangladeshis, people referred to as Desis in many forums.

Also Wrong- Japanese, Koreans and Chinese are East Asian

SE Asians include: Thai, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Laotian, etc

[Anonymous]

Fly home early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I'm enjoying this thread, as a Jewish mom in Boston. It feels very genuine and I'm learning a lot about life in rural Bangladesh. I especially enjoyed the pictures. I cannot imagine cooking in that kitchen. Thanks op for the entertainment. I hope your trip goes smoothly and you don't get sick and you enjoy more of it as time goes on. A fascinating experience.

This is just ONE perspective.

[Anonymous]

OP next time bring some books. You seem bored and thus are just complaining a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fly home early.

What, and lose this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I'm enjoying this thread, as a Jewish mom in Boston. It feels very genuine and I'm learning a lot about life in rural Bangladesh. I especially enjoyed the pictures. I cannot imagine cooking in that kitchen. Thanks op for the entertainment. I hope your trip goes smoothly and you don't get sick and you enjoy more of it as time goes on. A fascinating experience.

This is just ONE perspective.

Please, start a thread sharing yours! There's clearly an audience for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP next time bring some books. You seem bored and thus are just complaining a lot.

This^. Good books/kindle are great for jet lagged who can't sleep at night. Also you can kill mosquitos with them, read stories to kids and the gift them to family there.