Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Hire a sitter. And I seriously doubt you need them for just "15min" .

[Anonymous]

I'm a genxer.

I want to travel and have fun while I still can. I was tied down when I had kids. My choice, of course. But, once I'm retired, and still in relatively good health, I want to do what I want to do. I have lived frugally and stuck my nose to the grindstone my entire working life. Once I'm retired, I don't want to be stuck at home again watching grandkids.

I don't mind the babysitting for an hour or two once in a while, but I don't want to be a regular caregiver to my grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Parental help is overrated. I relied on my mom with DC1 and got what I paid for. Now with DC2 I’ve hired women to help who don’t stress me out and genuinely make my life easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to need my parents help raising my children, but I think it's funny that they got a ton of help from their parents raising us..... We are talking vacations together. Meals several times a week. Grandparents coming to all school functions taking us to school, picking us up from school..... But my parents who are retired or working part-time struggle to even plan a holiday nowadays. Yet they want us to all come to them. Sorry Jan, I'm not planning Christmas at your house if you don't want to take the initiative.

once again, you need to look at the differences in women's lives between the two generation.

Do millennials not understand context? Hilarious. So much naval gazing.

-signed a gen xer

My parents did not go to college and both had jobs that barely made ends meet... Do I get why they leaned heavily on their parents but they didn't give us a dime for college or for a car or anything?...... So now that they've retired early because they were able to use the money they inherited from their own parents, they still are refusing to do anything. It seems like our grandparents raised us..... And our parents relied heavily on our grandparents labor and then are now enjoying their inheritance after our grandparents have passed..... So much so that we will once again get zero when our own parents die.

I'll repeat:

Your grandmother more than likely did not have to juggle working full time and taking care of kids, on her own, because let's face it, the men in that generation weren't doing much housechores or childcare.

Your mother (because more than likely, when you say "parents", you really mean "mother") worked out of the home to try to provide for you, and your grandmother had the time to take care of you, the grandchild.

You know what it's like to work full time out of the home, and take care of kids. It's hard. Your mother is tired. She wants to enjoy her life because she was probably too busy raising you and working to enjoy her life. But, you begrudge her that.

Will you not get your parents estate when they pass? The cycle will continue. Please post back when you are retired, and your kids want you to watch your grandkids.

#entitledmillennial

Actually my grandparents both worked outside of the home. And the way my parents are burning through their state there will be zero left when they pass.

[Anonymous]

Not my parents but my aunt and uncle are totally absent from their grandchildren’s’ lives while my grandmother (my aunt and mothers mom) was extremely involved with us as grandchildren. My cousin is so upset by it and keeps mentioning our grandmother and how she showed up for every holiday and event. His parents have seen his children 4 times in their life and they are 7 and 9 while his wife’s parents see them weekly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parental help is overrated. I relied on my mom with DC1 and got what I paid for. Now with DC2 I’ve hired women to help who don’t stress me out and genuinely make my life easier.

[phone]. You get what you pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to need my parents help raising my children, but I think it's funny that they got a ton of help from their parents raising us..... We are talking vacations together. Meals several times a week. Grandparents coming to all school functions taking us to school, picking us up from school..... But my parents who are retired or working part-time struggle to even plan a holiday nowadays. Yet they want us to all come to them. Sorry Jan, I'm not planning Christmas at your house if you don't want to take the initiative.

once again, you need to look at the differences in women's lives between the two generation.

Do millennials not understand context? Hilarious. So much naval gazing.

-signed a gen xer

My parents did not go to college and both had jobs that barely made ends meet... Do I get why they leaned heavily on their parents but they didn't give us a dime for college or for a car or anything?...... So now that they've retired early because they were able to use the money they inherited from their own parents, they still are refusing to do anything. It seems like our grandparents raised us..... And our parents relied heavily on our grandparents labor and then are now enjoying their inheritance after our grandparents have passed..... So much so that we will once again get zero when our own parents die.

I'll repeat:

Your grandmother more than likely did not have to juggle working full time and taking care of kids, on her own, because let's face it, the men in that generation weren't doing much housechores or childcare.

Your mother (because more than likely, when you say "parents", you really mean "mother") worked out of the home to try to provide for you, and your grandmother had the time to take care of you, the grandchild.

You know what it's like to work full time out of the home, and take care of kids. It's hard. Your mother is tired. She wants to enjoy her life because she was probably too busy raising you and working to enjoy her life. But, you begrudge her that.

Will you not get your parents estate when they pass? The cycle will continue. Please post back when you are retired, and your kids want you to watch your grandkids.

#entitledmillennial

Actually my grandparents both worked outside of the home. And the way my parents are burning through their state there will be zero left when they pass.

They most likely raised their kids and grandkids as free range, rather than helicoptering, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parental help is overrated. I relied on my mom with DC1 and got what I paid for. Now with DC2 I’ve hired women to help who don’t stress me out and genuinely make my life easier.

[phone]. You get what you pay for.

Yep, the way my mom would watch my DC was old school. Let them watch tv for several hours; let them snack all day; little exercise and interaction.

Contrast to our nanny: take them to the park and library everyday; provide home cooked meals and healthy snacks.

[Anonymous]

Gen X here, let me get out my tiny violin..
definitely not surprised millennials are feeling sad and unsupported by their parents. I do feel bad for them, their parents did nothing to prepare them for their inevitable unsupported future. Might be time to use the internet for more than complaining that your parents aren't watching your kids, find a good therapist to help gain independence and work through that sense of entitlement. Seriously, poor babes are so lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parental help is overrated. I relied on my mom with DC1 and got what I paid for. Now with DC2 I’ve hired women to help who don’t stress me out and genuinely make my life easier.

[phone]. You get what you pay for.

Wow, you think your mom's help was worth nothing? Pay attention future grandparents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, let me get out my tiny violin..
definitely not surprised millennials are feeling sad and unsupported by their parents. I do feel bad for them, their parents did nothing to prepare them for their inevitable unsupported future. Might be time to use the internet for more than complaining that your parents aren't watching your kids, find a good therapist to help gain independence and work through that sense of entitlement. Seriously, poor babes are so lost.

+1 Never expected our parents to help and we did just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parental help is overrated. I relied on my mom with DC1 and got what I paid for. Now with DC2 I’ve hired women to help who don’t stress me out and genuinely make my life easier.

[phone]. You get what you pay for.

Yep, the way my mom would watch my DC was old school. Let them watch tv for several hours; let them snack all day; little exercise and interaction.

Contrast to our nanny: take them to the park and library everyday; provide home cooked meals and healthy snacks.

That was on you, not your mom. Clearly you failed to plan for your first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to need my parents help raising my children, but I think it's funny that they got a ton of help from their parents raising us..... We are talking vacations together. Meals several times a week. Grandparents coming to all school functions taking us to school, picking us up from school..... But my parents who are retired or working part-time struggle to even plan a holiday nowadays. Yet they want us to all come to them. Sorry Jan, I'm not planning Christmas at your house if you don't want to take the initiative.

once again, you need to look at the differences in women's lives between the two generation.

Do millennials not understand context? Hilarious. So much naval gazing.

-signed a gen xer

My parents did not go to college and both had jobs that barely made ends meet... Do I get why they leaned heavily on their parents but they didn't give us a dime for college or for a car or anything?...... So now that they've retired early because they were able to use the money they inherited from their own parents, they still are refusing to do anything. It seems like our grandparents raised us..... And our parents relied heavily on our grandparents labor and then are now enjoying their inheritance after our grandparents have passed..... So much so that we will once again get zero when our own parents die.

I'll repeat:

Your grandmother more than likely did not have to juggle working full time and taking care of kids, on her own, because let's face it, the men in that generation weren't doing much housechores or childcare.

Your mother (because more than likely, when you say "parents", you really mean "mother") worked out of the home to try to provide for you, and your grandmother had the time to take care of you, the grandchild.

You know what it's like to work full time out of the home, and take care of kids. It's hard. Your mother is tired. She wants to enjoy her life because she was probably too busy raising you and working to enjoy her life. But, you begrudge her that.

Will you not get your parents estate when they pass? The cycle will continue. Please post back when you are retired, and your kids want you to watch your grandkids.

#entitledmillennial

Actually my grandparents both worked outside of the home. And the way my parents are burning through their state there will be zero left when they pass.

They most likely raised their kids and grandkids as free range, rather than helicoptering, though.

That's the way it should be. I don't expect our estate to last past my children's lifetimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are too busy and galavanting around on vacations to help their kids and grand kids, sad. Another example of boomer selfishness on top of the wealth taking and focusing younger generations to find their lifestyles, sad.

https://www.foxnews.com/media/millennials-feel-abandoned-parents-available-help-raise-grandkids-busy.amp

Dafuq.

Neither set of grandparents helped raise my brothers and me, and I have few friends now who expect their parents to help raise their kids. If you decide to have kids, you should raise them yourself.

I do have friends who are pleasantly surprised and grateful when their parents offer to help with their kids, but to act entitled to grandparents' help and get peeved when it's not given, and then to call the grandparents selfish? Look in the mirror to see the selfish one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a lot of millennials refuse to do the math. When I was small, my grandma was in her 50s. People complaining about lack of help when “my parents’ parents helped them”: how old are your parents? My guess is, substantially older than their parents were when you were born.

It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just a societal change. Complaining won’t help.

I think there a lot of truth to this- my grandma was 50 when I was born! Whereas my own mom was 63 when my first was born. The funny thing is, my mom always complained that my grandma didn’t want to babysit us so that my mom could work. But my grandma was so young (and my mom was the oldest child) that she was still raising kids herself. So it was like the opposite situation that many of ourselves are in today. I think there is a sweet spot where grandparents have “recovered” from raising their own kids but still have a lot of energy to take in a more active role.