4 students in University of Idaho, killed in their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I wonder why his neighbors or parents didn't realize or notify police about the car he drove? It was all over the news.

It might be because there are tens of thousands of white Hyundai Elantras coast to coast. That could be part of it.

PP here. If I knew my friend or son or brother was enrolled in school and lived approximately 10 miles away from the murder scene and also drove a white Hyundai Elantra, it would give me a reason to wonder. I might even think someone had borrowed or stolen it. You wouldn't?

"The University of Idaho has 90 white Hyundai Elantras registered to park at the school, vehicles similar to the one police are seeking in connection with the quadruple homicide just steps off campus, records show."

But not one that mysteriously dissapeared across the country with a grad student who did not return for the rest of Winter break. Kinda stands out, don't you think?

Huh?

Not literally disappeared. He drove the car across the country right after the killings and never went back. That obviously looks suspicious.

He finished out his classes for the semester and went home for winter break, like tens of thousands of other kids from the school.

And if my son had that same car that was being reported in the news, plus knowing he attended school 10 miles away from the murders, I would inform the police.

No, you wouldn’t, because you have no reason to think that your son did anything wrong.

There's a gut feeling that most parents have about a child who struggles with mental health issues.

+1

Trust your gut. Do something now, before it is too late. Making your child someone else's problem is not a plan.

Had the school system stepped in and punished the people bullying him, he might’ve felt better supported. Seems he came from a good family and his problems were in school. Had I not moved my son to a private, he might have take a dark path. He was bullied in public and the school blamed him and let the bullying continue - seemed to enjoy his pain. The private was a 180 difference and he was actually one of the most looked up to kids by the other students. He went on to college and now has a very successful career.

I agree that a bullied child/teen needs the support of the community (family, school, church etc); as we have seen a lot of these mass killings are done by people who were bullied. I understand that a HS kid might not know where to go to seek help so they can overcome the effects of bullying, but adults who were bullied owes it to themselves to seek therapy etc so they can move on with their lives and be productive members of society. Too often adults that were bullied as teens are seeking out places (online forums etc) that takes them down a dark path instead of searching for resources that will help them heal on move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder why his neighbors or parents didn't realize or notify police about the car he drove? It was all over the news.

It might be because there are tens of thousands of white Hyundai Elantras coast to coast. That could be part of it.

PP here. If I knew my friend or son or brother was enrolled in school and lived approximately 10 miles away from the murder scene and also drove a white Hyundai Elantra, it would give me a reason to wonder. I might even think someone had borrowed or stolen it. You wouldn't?

"The University of Idaho has 90 white Hyundai Elantras registered to park at the school, vehicles similar to the one police are seeking in connection with the quadruple homicide just steps off campus, records show."

But not one that mysteriously dissapeared across the country with a grad student who did not return for the rest of Winter break. Kinda stands out, don't you think?

Huh?

Not literally disappeared. He drove the car across the country right after the killings and never went back. That obviously looks suspicious.

He finished out his classes for the semester and went home for winter break, like tens of thousands of other kids from the school.

And if my son had that same car that was being reported in the news, plus knowing he attended school 10 miles away from the murders, I would inform the police.

No, you wouldn’t, because you have no reason to think that your son did anything wrong.

There's a gut feeling that most parents have about a child who struggles with mental health issues.

+1

Trust your gut. Do something now, before it is too late. Making your child someone else's problem is not a plan.

Had the school system stepped in and punished the people bullying him, he might’ve felt better supported. Seems he came from a good family and his problems were in school. Had I not moved my son to a private, he might have take a dark path. He was bullied in public and the school blamed him and let the bullying continue - seemed to enjoy his pain. The private was a 180 difference and he was actually one of the most looked up to kids by the other students. He went on to college and now has a very successful career.

I agree that a bullied child/teen needs the support of the community (family, school, church etc); as we have seen a lot of these mass killings are done by people who were bullied. I understand that a HS kid might not know where to go to seek help so they can overcome the effects of bullying, but adults who were bullied owes it to themselves to seek therapy etc so they can move on with their lives and be productive members of society. Too often adults that were bullied as teens are seeking out places (online forums etc) that takes them down a dark path instead of searching for resources that will help them heal on move on.

+1

Just read some of the posts here, and elsewhere.

Parents, YOU OWE it to YOUR children to get them help - not other people - YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder why his neighbors or parents didn't realize or notify police about the car he drove? It was all over the news.

It might be because there are tens of thousands of white Hyundai Elantras coast to coast. That could be part of it.

PP here. If I knew my friend or son or brother was enrolled in school and lived approximately 10 miles away from the murder scene and also drove a white Hyundai Elantra, it would give me a reason to wonder. I might even think someone had borrowed or stolen it. You wouldn't?

"The University of Idaho has 90 white Hyundai Elantras registered to park at the school, vehicles similar to the one police are seeking in connection with the quadruple homicide just steps off campus, records show."

But not one that mysteriously dissapeared across the country with a grad student who did not return for the rest of Winter break. Kinda stands out, don't you think?

Huh?

Not literally disappeared. He drove the car across the country right after the killings and never went back. That obviously looks suspicious.

He finished out his classes for the semester and went home for winter break, like tens of thousands of other kids from the school.

And if my son had that same car that was being reported in the news, plus knowing he attended school 10 miles away from the murders, I would inform the police.

No, you wouldn’t, because you have no reason to think that your son did anything wrong.

There's a gut feeling that most parents have about a child who struggles with mental health issues.

+1

Trust your gut. Do something now, before it is too late. Making your child someone else's problem is not a plan.

Had the school system stepped in and punished the people bullying him, he might’ve felt better supported. Seems he came from a good family and his problems were in school. Had I not moved my son to a private, he might have take a dark path. He was bullied in public and the school blamed him and let the bullying continue - seemed to enjoy his pain. The private was a 180 difference and he was actually one of the most looked up to kids by the other students. He went on to college and now has a very successful career.

And yet it was Catholic private where my DS was bullied. And the school did nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

+1

I have seen students try to create distance with kids with issues, and the parents of the kids with issues tend to make it worse, instead of getting their kid the help they need. The administrators and the other parents know there is a problem, but the parents refuse to help their own kid. Terribly sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder why his neighbors or parents didn't realize or notify police about the car he drove? It was all over the news.

It might be because there are tens of thousands of white Hyundai Elantras coast to coast. That could be part of it.

PP here. If I knew my friend or son or brother was enrolled in school and lived approximately 10 miles away from the murder scene and also drove a white Hyundai Elantra, it would give me a reason to wonder. I might even think someone had borrowed or stolen it. You wouldn't?

"The University of Idaho has 90 white Hyundai Elantras registered to park at the school, vehicles similar to the one police are seeking in connection with the quadruple homicide just steps off campus, records show."

But not one that mysteriously dissapeared across the country with a grad student who did not return for the rest of Winter break. Kinda stands out, don't you think?

Huh?

Not literally disappeared. He drove the car across the country right after the killings and never went back. That obviously looks suspicious.

He finished out his classes for the semester and went home for winter break, like tens of thousands of other kids from the school.

And if my son had that same car that was being reported in the news, plus knowing he attended school 10 miles away from the murders, I would inform the police.

No, you wouldn’t, because you have no reason to think that your son did anything wrong.

There's a gut feeling that most parents have about a child who struggles with mental health issues.

+1

Trust your gut. Do something now, before it is too late. Making your child someone else's problem is not a plan.

Had the school system stepped in and punished the people bullying him, he might’ve felt better supported. Seems he came from a good family and his problems were in school. Had I not moved my son to a private, he might have take a dark path. He was bullied in public and the school blamed him and let the bullying continue - seemed to enjoy his pain. The private was a 180 difference and he was actually one of the most looked up to kids by the other students. He went on to college and now has a very successful career.

And yet it was Catholic private where my DS was bullied. And the school did nothing.

All schools have bullying - you have to find the right school and situation or your kid.

[Anonymous]

*for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

He would have been accepted somewhere else and 4 other students would have ended up dead. Has nothing to do with the AO decision. By that way if thinking it was the AO who accepted intuba masters program somewhere else because if he didn’t get in there he wouldn’t have gotten into a PhD program. You can play that game forever. It’s no one’s fault but the cold blooded killer’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering about his hometown and where he grew up and if he were noted as troubled and weird at a younger age.

Any info about him growing up?

seems very normal family, two sisters that are therapists, mom actually posted about tragedy of uvalde and against guns and for mental health resources.
no info on dad
fellow phd student said maybe he seemed socially awkward but nothing stood out.

Where are you seeing this? [b]God his poor family.[/b]

+1 Yes. No privacy any longer. Their work addresses and names are out there.

No, the poor families for those four victims. Could care less about his family and no I do not believe for one moment they did not know something was up with this freak show.

PP here. I agree that the parents likely knew something was amiss with him, but often families don't realize the degree of pathology.

There’s often not much families can do without the kid’s cooperation after 18.

True. Our laws need to be changed. Too many people walking aroubd freely when they need monitoring or possibly longterm hospitalization.

There is no such thing anymore. Remember? We closed all the asylums. There is truly no where for those people loved ones are concerned about to go- until after a crime is committed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

PP here.i disagree that confidentiality laws are irrelevant. Many college students are too young, naive, and inexperienced to recognize mental illness in a roommate or classmate or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Colleges and universities should be told, and our children should not be rooming or sitting in classes with seriously mentally ill individuals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering about his hometown and where he grew up and if he were noted as troubled and weird at a younger age.

Any info about him growing up?

seems very normal family, two sisters that are therapists, mom actually posted about tragedy of uvalde and against guns and for mental health resources.
no info on dad
fellow phd student said maybe he seemed socially awkward but nothing stood out.

Where are you seeing this? [b]God his poor family.[/b]

+1 Yes. No privacy any longer. Their work addresses and names are out there.

No, the poor families for those four victims. Could care less about his family and no I do not believe for one moment they did not know something was up with this freak show.

PP here. I agree that the parents likely knew something was amiss with him, but often families don't realize the degree of pathology.

There’s often not much families can do without the kid’s cooperation after 18.

True. Our laws need to be changed. Too many people walking aroubd freely when they need monitoring or possibly longterm hospitalization.

There is no such thing anymore. Remember? We closed all the asylums. There is truly no where for those people loved ones are concerned about to go- until after a crime is committed

PP here. I'm aware and think it's a travesty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

+1

I have seen students try to create distance with kids with issues, and the parents of the kids with issues tend to make it worse, instead of getting their kid the help they need. The administrators and the other parents know there is a problem, but the parents refuse to help their own kid. Terribly sad.

+1 Those 4 young people were like sitting ducks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

PP here.i disagree that confidentiality laws are irrelevant. Many college students are too young, naive, and inexperienced to recognize mental illness in a roommate or classmate or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Colleges and universities should be told, and our children should not be rooming or sitting in classes with seriously mentally ill individuals.

Most college age children are good judges of character, and know when something is 'not quite right" with a fellow student.

We are never going to be able to over ride the confidentiality laws - so teach your child to be a good judge of who is who, to trust their gut, to get out of a situation, to create distance, and to communicate with at least administration and family.

I do not agree that we should all bear the burden of the troubled kids - but how do you think they got to where they are? The troubled kids did not become troubled with involved, selfless parents who care about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

+1

I have seen students try to create distance with kids with issues, and the parents of the kids with issues tend to make it worse, instead of getting their kid the help they need. The administrators and the other parents know there is a problem, but the parents refuse to help their own kid. Terribly sad.

+1 Those 4 young people were like sitting ducks.

I am waiting to find out how he knew them. It should not matter, but it does.