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I spent about a year dating almost exclusively women older than myself. What follows are my observations from that time in my life. For the purpose of this post, by "older women" I do not mean old women or women of any certain age or age range; I mainly mean women who are older than the man in question.
Older women are easier to have sex with. Older women are more confident and comfortable around men - especially younger men, since they know that their experience cancels out some of his natural power over her. This translates into sexual openness. Some men know that older women are easier to nail, which is often why they pursue them. Older women should be cynical about younger men who claim they want to date seriously, or remain silent about commitment. Older women are not as physically attractive as younger women. This is obvious. Women peak somewhere in their twenties for external attractiveness. All honest men acknowledge this, as do most women. In general, men disagree about the age at which women "peak" - partially because it varies depending on the woman and partially because guys have different taste. But I think it also has to do with the difficulty that a men have distinguishing between external and internal attractiveness; often the latter is confused for the former. Older women are still pretty hot. A woman's attractiveness doesn't take a swan dive after 30. It tapers out slowly and often quite gracefully - far more slowly than it arises in a girl's late teens. The rate of the decline is obviously affected by her genetics and lifestyle, but it is also largely a function of how willing she is to accept that decline gracefully. I think the women who become ugliest due to age are the ones that recognize they are getting older, wrongly assume that they are no longer beautiful, and therefore stop their gym membership, cut their hair short and give up. Some women go instead to the opposite extreme, getting plastic surgery or increasing their make up until they over-compensate. Neither of these is the appropriate or confident response to the onset of aging (in the same way that wearing a toupee is a poor response to the onset of male baldness, for example). An acceptance of reality is the best response, and the reality is not nearly as bad as so many women believe. Although most men of course prefer the looks or bodies of women in their twenties, we would still love to fuck those same women well into their forties - assuming they take care of themselves. Guys interested in long term relationships will not consider older women seriously. On a few occasions I was dating women who were older by six to ten years, and really enjoyed their beauty and company. However, when it came time to cut it off or have a relationship, I cut it off. Reconsidering my motivations for those decisions now, I recognize one that dominated the others: despite my attraction for those women at the time, I didn't want to look around myself ten years later and see a hotter, younger girl - closer to my own age - and think "I could have been with a girl like that instead." When my wife starts aging, I want the other girls I could have had (i.e. those in my age-range) to be aging with her, so that I won't be constantly reminded of the sacrifice I made to be with her - even if it was one I know was worth it. The grass is already always greener on the other side, and a man doesn't need an age disparity contributing to that effect when his woman starts losing her initial shine. Older women are more internally attractive than younger women. Older women have miles more personality than younger women. Since the time when I dated older women (a couple years ago now), I've found one, maybe two girls younger than me that I was attracted to and able to connect with - out of all the women I've encountered or even dated. Older women are simply more interesting to be around. This is because of the natural accumulation of experiences over time. Older women are more confident than younger women, because they know themselves and the world better. Their words carry more weight because they have experienced what they are talking about. They are comfortable in their own skin. They are relaxed in social settings. Perhaps most importantly, they are not afraid of men, so their inhibitions in a man's presence are less severe. All of this allows for an openness that makes a date or casual interaction much more enjoyable. |
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Yikes! Does one or two years older count?
I'm one year and a half older than my dh! |
| Hi Shallow Hal. I'm all out of awards tonight or DCUM's Most Shallow would go to you. My condolences. |
Lol, seriously. The "sacrifice" he made to be with his wife. Lol. |
| Omg! OP, you are a loser. I think you have a small dick. |
Well then, we know what you thinkyou know about me... But based on your response we all know one thing about you: you lack elementary debating skills. No substance to your reply. All personal attack. Try taking down my arguments in the post. You resort to food fight language. |
NP here. None of which you have written is really debatable IMO because it's your opinion and not factual. Sure, we could argue back and forth over personal preferences or I could just show you. I prefer the tactile approach. |
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Hugh Jackman is hotter, sexier, and smarter than you. His wife is also 59, and he is 46. So there!
I hope the hotter younger wife you eventually marry never gets ill or loses her looks. What happened? Are you regretting cutting off contact with a hot older woman? |
| Do you ever focus on emotional intimacy at all? You know, have a true partner? Or is it all about the sex planning and investment? |
| Hold on. OP is checking out the word "intimacy" on Wikipedia and will soon learn that he does not have experience within this area. He will now have to date another sample of older women and younger women to determine what that feels like. |
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I think that when you are an adult, if you love someone, you should be with them. Doesn't matter if they are 5 years younger or 20 years older. Attractiveness is all a matter of perspective. Your perspective is how you view women, it's not what everyone believes.
Out of curiosity, why did you decide to post your opinion? Did you not think that it would cause some people to be upset? Honestly, it seems as if you did this only to start a debate. |
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OP, excellent post! Seriously, you should expand this and try to have it published somewhere. It is wasted on DCUM.
Signed, A middle-aged woman |
Silly poster, of course he knew his demographic and stirred the pot. Some personalities do this for attention. I feel bad for him. |
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43 y.o. divorced guy here - dated "younger " and "older" women for the last 2 years and have found the "older" women are hands down so much sexier and hotter than the younger 30 year olds.
The confidence more mature women have is one attribute that I value highly. I have also found that older women are much more comfortable with their bodies and in general, are much more open to new things in the bedroom. They can actually have real conversations and if you are an intelligent, cosmopolitan guy, you can find so many more things with which you can connect with a woman - and you know that if you connect via brain, your cock can connect with her pussy. as for women hitting their peak external attractiveness in their 20s, well, no doubt I love a finely toned ass in yoga pants but I find "older" women so much more physically attractive - and they know how to wear that sexiness and sensuality comfortably and confidently. so thanks for your post - and leave the "older" women to guys like me. |
I do not understand the vitriol and bitterness. The OP was complimentary to older women, and IMO dead on. I have been involved with a woman is 12 years older than for 2 years now. Obviously her physical attractiveness is not the same as it was when she was younger (she is 63) or that of younger women. But I think she is beautiful and she works hard to keep fit. She is very open sexually and enjoys it very much. Internally she is gorgeous and I love talking with her and spending time with her. However, I would not marry her or have a serious commitment for the same reasons as elucidated by the OP. I think woman I am with understands this deep down. |