9 year old asked how gay people have sex.. How to respond?

[Anonymous]

We have had frank and age appropriate discussions about sex and reproduction. Now this! Help!!

[Anonymous]

Continue being frank!

[Anonymous]

He does not understand the connection between sex and pleasure. He just thinks of it as a tool for reproduction. So I guess that is the first thing to be frank about.

[Anonymous]

"People have sex in all different sorts of ways. Gay people and straight people. As long as both people are adults and agree to have sex with one another, it isn't anyone's business how they do what makes them feel good."

[Anonymous]

Fake post.

[Anonymous]

I always respond with "What makes you ask that?" Typically a kid is asking something for a very specific reason that you know nothing about. Then you can frame your answer accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He does not understand the connection between sex and pleasure. He just thinks of it as a tool for reproduction. So I guess that is the first thing to be frank about.

I agree. No need to talk about making each other feel good because I doubt your 9 year old knows about that aspect of sex. I would say that gay people can't make babies together , so when they want a baby they can adopt, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Why do you think this is a fake post? Sometimes DCUM comes through on good advice and I am truly unhappy with this question. It seems too early to get into how gay people have sex. I have thought about telling him that he is still too young to know. But that is probably the wrong way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Why do you think this is a fake post? Sometimes DCUM comes through on good advice and I am truly unhappy with this question. It seems too early to get into how gay people have sex. I have thought about telling him that he is still too young to know. But that is probably the wrong way to go.

What did you tell him about how straight people have sex? Did you only tell him about PIV sex? If so, that may be the source of the confusion.

However, I think that one of the PPs has good advice -- ask him why he's asking. That will help you figure out how to give him the information he's asking for.

[Anonymous]

Try to predict what questions he will ask. What are they?

Give us more. You're annoyed but provide specifics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Why do you think this is a fake post? Sometimes DCUM comes through on good advice and I am truly unhappy with this question. It seems too early to get into how gay people have sex. I have thought about telling him that he is still too young to know. But that is probably the wrong way to go.

It only seems too early because you don't know why he is asking. If you did you'd see how it's connected to what he actually does know and the answer he needs would be clearer. "You're too young to have your question answered" is such lazy parenting.

[Anonymous]

We asked him why he asked. It was because another kid in the class has mentioned it during sex ed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked him why he asked. It was because another kid in the class has mentioned it during sex ed.

This sex ed must be pretty lousy if they're not being taught about sex for pleasure/intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked him why he asked. It was because another kid in the class has mentioned it during sex ed.

Then I would tell him that there are lots of different ways to have sex, not just the penis-in-vagina kind that he learned about for human reproduction.

If he then asks about the different ways, I don't think that you have to be specific -- you can just say that in general, people do things that involve contact with genitals.

[Anonymous]

Just tell him the truth. I think it's a good question when you think about it.