9 year old asked how gay people have sex.. How to respond?

[Anonymous]

We tried to be vague when he asked. Then DS said, "Do you KNOW what gay people do? OK, you do know. Please tell me." Or something like that. It was kind of cute that he wasn't sure if we knew what this was about! But hope some of you see why we think its a bit early. Has no hormones flowing through him yet and was barely ready to hear about penis-in-vagina sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell him the truth. I think it's a good question when you think about it.

We may have to do so. He just wants the facts as far as we could tell. Probably would not have thought of it if some other kid hadn't brought it up. (Now do not know why that kid raised it!)

[Anonymous]

I hope you'll tell him to not speak about it to his friends at school. If they are teaching sex Ed at school, but won't answer this question when a student asks, then the school doesn't want the students discussing it amongst themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Continue being frank!

+1!

[Anonymous]

"Gay people hug and kiss each other and sleep in the same bed too and they find many grown up ways to have sex just like everyone does with their bodies. And they adopt babies and have babies too."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Why do you think this is a fake post? Sometimes DCUM comes through on good advice and I am truly unhappy with this question. It seems too early to get into how gay people have sex. I have thought about telling him that he is still too young to know. But that is probably the wrong way to go.

It only seems too early because you don't know why he is asking. If you did you'd see how it's connected to what he actually does know and the answer he needs would be clearer. "You're too young to have your question answered" is such lazy parenting.

And it's also a surefire way to send your child looking for information where he or she won't find the right answer, i.e. peers and the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We asked him why he asked. It was because another kid in the class has mentioned it during sex ed.

Then I would tell him that there are lots of different ways to have sex, not just the penis-in-vagina kind that he learned about for human reproduction.

If he then asks about the different ways, I don't think that you have to be specific -- you can just say that in general, people do things that involve contact with genitals.

Why not? The kid's question is pretty specific.

[Anonymous]

He's 9, so in third or fourth grade, is that right? What school or school system here has actual sex education in third or fourth grade? I think DC's school may have had an "our changing bodies" talk for the fourth grade girls, but nothing behind that.

[Anonymous]

Oh, for heaven's sake. Is the problem here that you think gay sex = anal sex and you don't want to talk about that? If it's any comfort to you, the minority of gay men have anal sex so there's no reason to bring it up: I assume you didn't bring it up when telling him about heterosexual sex, although the it's pretty commonly practiced among straight people as well.

Just say "it usually involves kissing and touching genitals." Done.

http://magazine.good.is/articles/gay-sex-is-not-anal-sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We asked him why he asked. It was because another kid in the class has mentioned it during sex ed.

Then I would tell him that there are lots of different ways to have sex, not just the penis-in-vagina kind that he learned about for human reproduction.

If he then asks about the different ways, I don't think that you have to be specific -- you can just say that in general, people do things that involve contact with genitals.

Why not? The kid's question is pretty specific.

No, the kid's question is pretty general. The kid is not asking for an itemized list of specific acts.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like he is. He knows how men and women have sex and wants to know how two men have sex. Just tell him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, for heaven's sake. Is the problem here that you think gay sex = anal sex and you don't want to talk about that? If it's any comfort to you, the minority of gay men have anal sex so there's no reason to bring it up: I assume you didn't bring it up when telling him about heterosexual sex, although the it's pretty commonly practiced among straight people as well.

Just say "it usually involves kissing and touching genitals." Done.

http://magazine.good.is/articles/gay-sex-is-not-anal-sex

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me like he is. He knows how men and women have sex and wants to know how two men have sex. Just tell him.

Does gay = men, these days? I didn't know that.

Also, there is more to men/women sex than inserting Tab P in Slot V. True fact.

[Anonymous]

I'm an adult female and unclear how two women do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked him why he asked. It was because another kid in the class has mentioned it during sex ed.

Just curious, what school system is this? In MCPS, sex ed, or family planning as it is called now doesn't start until 5th grade.