Who Is Most Out Of Bounds Here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll, people. Come on!
Show us the insta or troll.

Troll.

Only the infamous DCUM troll does this much sockpuppeting on their fake troll post for 30 pages..

Jeff basically confirmed there was no sock puppeting on the blog.

But OP posted and ran.

yup

[Anonymous]

Fan Fiction Finale:

OP's foood loving baby fat on hips (HER DESCRIPTION) develops an eating disorder in college and comes home Size 0 at Christmas.

Dave's kids do too, to comofort their Mom so she can "be proud" of their "taking care of themselves."

Dave goes to rehab, meets the love of his life there, dumps wife.

Dave's wife becomes an alcoholic, switching wine for food to "save calories."

OP {as played by the trollls} remains the 29.6 BMI vengeful harpy with no self insight she has always been.

Finis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The DH over reacted but so what - I still have no sympathy for Dave. And whatever is the fallout to his family - that’s Dave’s responsibility and always was.

Would it kill you to acknowledge Daves wife?

Dave’s wife apparently married a bipolar, addicted man. How much has he hidden from her vs how much does she pretend not to know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The DH over reacted but so what - I still have no sympathy for Dave. And whatever is the fallout to his family - that’s Dave’s responsibility and always was.

Would it kill you to acknowledge Daves wife?

She married a cheating jerk who publicly humiliates other people's children. I'm guessing this is just one more thing to add to the list of jerky Dave habits. if it weren't for the DH's response the debate here would be how could she stay with such a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has an old college room mate named Dave that is a bit of a wild card. Dave struggled with alcohol and substance abuse his whole life despite being incredibly successful professionally. I have suspected for two decades that he is undiagnosed BPD.

Anyway, this was graduation weekend and I posted some celebratory pics of my DD ("Audrey") and her friends. In one of the pics he comments:

"Congrats! Audrey is going to USC in the Fall, righ? Looks like she'll enjoy the food there!"

My DD is not fat but she is still carrying a little baby weight around her hips and she is naturally large chested. To say this was out of bounds is putting it mildly.

However, my DH went into a blind rage and replied with:

"Hey Dave, has Susan (Dave's wife) found out about your affair with Nicole (Dave's ex gf) that weekend you went to Chicago yet?"

The setting on the post were public so his wife saw all this. She has called my a dozen times and left horribly unkind VMs accusing me of 'sabotaging' her marriage. I replied with a text once stating take it up with Dave and do not contact me again. Then I blocked her.

I know my DH was wrong to stir the post but wasn't it fair game given Dave's intial insult?

No. Your husband should have taken the high road. If someone stabs you you don't get to stab them back "for free" because it's fair game. You both go to jail.

Uh isn't that called self defense?

Uh it depends on the situation so not necessarily. And if you want to say that OP’s husband gets a free pass because what he did was self defense then I don’t o ow what to say to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So one guy insults family and fair game is to humiliate the other family?

Who raised you people?

People who don't humiliate other people's kids ...to ad insult, in a very public manner!

And frankly, when you go that low to publicly humiliating someone's kid, all bets are off.

Publicly humiliating the child of the person who knows that you had an affair no less. Dave is clearly a horrible idiot and it is difficult for me to muster sympathy for him.

Luckily I don’t think anyone is saying we should have sympathy for Dave. His family, absolutely. But not him. He cheated, so whatever fallout occurs as a result of that is on him. But that doesn’t mean the husband should have publicly outed him. It’s not an “all bets are off” kind of thing. You’re still responsible for your own actions no matter why you took them. So the husband is still responsible for the fact that he blasted private information in a public forum, which was a jerk thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So one guy insults family and fair game is to humiliate the other family?

Who raised you people?

People who don't humiliate other people's kids ...to ad insult, in a very public manner!

And frankly, when you go that low to publicly humiliating someone's kid, all bets are off.

Publicly humiliating the child of the person who knows that you had an affair no less. Dave is clearly a horrible idiot and it is difficult for me to muster sympathy for him.

Do you recognize that Dave also has a wife and kids? What about them?

I don't think its on OP or her DH to have to swallow Dave's horrific treatment of them and I don't think they owe the daughter and wife going out of their way to deny themselves an honest response.

I think the DH was over the line. I also think he was probably seeing red after Dave said something seemingly DESIGNED to make him see red. And IMO this is a lot of justification to get around to trying to protect Dave from the consequences of his actions.

+1
So many people willing to sweep that under the rug and blame DH only.

Show me a single post where anyone said DH was to blame but not Dave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So one guy insults family and fair game is to humiliate the other family?

Who raised you people?

People who don't humiliate other people's kids ...to ad insult, in a very public manner!

And frankly, when you go that low to publicly humiliating someone's kid, all bets are off.

Publicly humiliating the child of the person who knows that you had an affair no less. Dave is clearly a horrible idiot and it is difficult for me to muster sympathy for him.

Do you recognize that Dave also has a wife and kids? What about them?

I don't think its on OP or her DH to have to swallow Dave's horrific treatment of them and I don't think they owe the daughter and wife going out of their way to deny themselves an honest response.

I think the DH was over the line. I also think he was probably seeing red after Dave said something seemingly DESIGNED to make him see red. And IMO this is a lot of justification to get around to trying to protect Dave from the consequences of his actions.

Horrific treatment? You exaggerate a bit much.

I mean there have CLEARLY been other incidents! OP's wife has long suspected him of BPD! This is obviously not the first offense.

And I guess you think differently about your kids than I do because if someone called my teenage daughter fat in any way shape or form, let alone in a way clearly designed to mock her in a celebratory moment on my public Facebook page I would lose my ever loving sh*t. I would delete the person's post, unfriend them and excoriate them on text and not blow up their life because I wouldn't want that on MY page but I would lose my mind. And talk an incredible amount of crap about them to everyone who would listen. That is absolutely a horrific thing to do.

Deleting the post, unfriending them, and sending a private text are all perfectly acceptable responses. Talking crap about them like telling people about Dave’s affair? That’s going too far. Telling people what they did? Fine, but honestly at a certain point it makes you look crazy and you need to let it go. Dave is clearly a bad guy so his comment shouldn’t mean much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has an old college room mate named Dave that is a bit of a wild card. Dave struggled with alcohol and substance abuse his whole life despite being incredibly successful professionally. I have suspected for two decades that he is undiagnosed BPD.

Anyway, this was graduation weekend and I posted some celebratory pics of my DD ("Audrey") and her friends. In one of the pics he comments:

"Congrats! Audrey is going to USC in the Fall, righ? Looks like she'll enjoy the food there!"

My DD is not fat but she is still carrying a little baby weight around her hips and she is naturally large chested. To say this was out of bounds is putting it mildly.

However, my DH went into a blind rage and replied with:

"Hey Dave, has Susan (Dave's wife) found out about your affair with Nicole (Dave's ex gf) that weekend you went to Chicago yet?"

The setting on the post were public so his wife saw all this. She has called my a dozen times and left horribly unkind VMs accusing me of 'sabotaging' her marriage. I replied with a text once stating take it up with Dave and do not contact me again. Then I blocked her.

I know my DH was wrong to stir the post but wasn't it fair game given Dave's intial insult?

No. Your husband should have taken the high road. If someone stabs you you don't get to stab them back "for free" because it's fair game. You both go to jail.

Uh isn't that called self defense?

If someone calls you a name, or in this case, makes an observation that you like food, you don't get to knife them. Only one goes to jail.

Are you responding to the correct poster? PP said if someone stabs you, you aren't allowed to stab them back. I think if my life is in danger from someone stabbing me you better believe I'd do it back and it would be self defense.

No I have it right. This wasn't an equal or proportionate response to the initial slight, there was no stabbing. It's not an eye for an eye or self defense. OP even says he was "blind with rage". Maybe the family needs to get over their shame and embarrassment over their daughter's size.

Yeah USUALLY when someone does something innocuous and a person near to them has an insanely overblown response it is because it is the 100th time something like this has happened not the first.

My dad was bullied in elementary school by a kid, constantly picked on in ways big and small for months. One day the kid comes up to him in the lunch room and makes a little dig and my dad grabbed the bottle of mustard on the table and doused the kid in it, squirted it everywhere. It was a totally out of proportion reaction to that one dig, but a perhaps underreaction when considering the totality of the relationship.

Of course it’s understandable. But I bet your dad got in trouble for the mustard, right? Like the school made him clean it up or pay for it? I think everyone can sympathize when a bully pushes you too far, but it doesn’t make you not responsible for your own actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So one guy insults family and fair game is to humiliate the other family?

Who raised you people?

People who don't humiliate other people's kids ...to ad insult, in a very public manner!

And frankly, when you go that low to publicly humiliating someone's kid, all bets are off.

Publicly humiliating the child of the person who knows that you had an affair no less. Dave is clearly a horrible idiot and it is difficult for me to muster sympathy for him.

Do you recognize that Dave also has a wife and kids? What about them?

I don't think its on OP or her DH to have to swallow Dave's horrific treatment of them and I don't think they owe the daughter and wife going out of their way to deny themselves an honest response.

I think the DH was over the line. I also think he was probably seeing red after Dave said something seemingly DESIGNED to make him see red. And IMO this is a lot of justification to get around to trying to protect Dave from the consequences of his actions.

Horrific treatment? You exaggerate a bit much.

I mean there have CLEARLY been other incidents! OP's wife has long suspected him of BPD! This is obviously not the first offense.

And I guess you think differently about your kids than I do because if someone called my teenage daughter fat in any way shape or form, let alone in a way clearly designed to mock her in a celebratory moment on my public Facebook page I would lose my ever loving sh*t. I would delete the person's post, unfriend them and excoriate them on text and not blow up their life because I wouldn't want that on MY page but I would lose my mind. And talk an incredible amount of crap about them to everyone who would listen. That is absolutely a horrific thing to do.

And all of that is fine. That would have been the correct way to handle. DH did not do this.

People can go a bit temporarily insane when kids are involved. And what you aren't acknowledging is that Dave poked this bear KNOWING the bear knew all this. KNOWING that this bear could in fact blow up his life. If someone in my life knew I had some life altering affair I would be VERY nice to them.

So Dave’s an idiot. We’ve established that. Let’s move on from that point.

Are you saying that if someone goes temporarily insane when kids are involved they get a free pass to say and do whatever they want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So one guy insults family and fair game is to humiliate the other family?

Who raised you people?

People who don't humiliate other people's kids ...to ad insult, in a very public manner!

And frankly, when you go that low to publicly humiliating someone's kid, all bets are off.

Publicly humiliating the child of the person who knows that you had an affair no less. Dave is clearly a horrible idiot and it is difficult for me to muster sympathy for him.

Do you recognize that Dave also has a wife and kids? What about them?

I don't think its on OP or her DH to have to swallow Dave's horrific treatment of them and I don't think they owe the daughter and wife going out of their way to deny themselves an honest response.

I think the DH was over the line. I also think he was probably seeing red after Dave said something seemingly DESIGNED to make him see red. And IMO this is a lot of justification to get around to trying to protect Dave from the consequences of his actions.

Horrific treatment? You exaggerate a bit much.

I mean there have CLEARLY been other incidents! OP's wife has long suspected him of BPD! This is obviously not the first offense.

And I guess you think differently about your kids than I do because if someone called my teenage daughter fat in any way shape or form, let alone in a way clearly designed to mock her in a celebratory moment on my public Facebook page I would lose my ever loving sh*t. I would delete the person's post, unfriend them and excoriate them on text and not blow up their life because I wouldn't want that on MY page but I would lose my mind. And talk an incredible amount of crap about them to everyone who would listen. That is absolutely a horrific thing to do.

And all of that is fine. That would have been the correct way to handle. DH did not do this.

People can go a bit temporarily insane when kids are involved. And what you aren't acknowledging is that Dave poked this bear KNOWING the bear knew all this. KNOWING that this bear could in fact blow up his life. If someone in my life knew I had some life altering affair I would be VERY nice to them.

Everyone knows Dave messed up how many times does it need to be said? But this is NOT the way to handle it. At all. Two wrongs don't make a right.

What if Dave killed someone in a hit and run drunk. And that was what DH blurted out? Why is it that victims of horrible cheating dbags should have the crimes perpetrated against them hidden? I honestly don't get this. It shouldn't have come out like that but if it were me I'd think the guy did me a favor.

So you’d be thanking DH here? Ok…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

Call my daughter fat on Facebook and you should expect a debilitating disproportionate response. Also, if you don’t cheat, you can’t be called out for cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

Call my daughter fat on Facebook and you should expect a debilitating disproportionate response. Also, if you don’t cheat, you can’t be called out for cheating.

Well is she fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

Call my daughter fat on Facebook and you should expect a debilitating disproportionate response. Also, if you don’t cheat, you can’t be called out for cheating.

Well is she fat?

Doesn't matter if she is I will blow you up, if she is not I will blow you up.

You are not my friend and I don't care about you or your family at this point.

If you don't care about your family and you make destructive decisions that terribly affect them why would you hold me to a higher standard.

Bye Felicia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

Call my daughter fat on Facebook and you should expect a debilitating disproportionate response. Also, if you don’t cheat, you can’t be called out for cheating.

Well is she fat?

Doesn't matter if she is I will blow you up, if she is not I will blow you up.

You are not my friend and I don't care about you or your family at this point.

If you don't care about your family and you make destructive decisions that terribly affect them why would you hold me to a higher standard.

Bye Felicia.

I have so many questions for people like you. I really wonder how you manage to act in social, professional, and emotional situations. I mean, I guess I know, I'm just so glad I'm not surrounded by people like you. Better go get a fresh Mama Bear sticker for your minivan, you wouldn't want the old one to fade.