Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child who married later in life (late 30s). My surname is perfect with my first name and DH didn't care if I took his name. I also had a son from a previous relationship and my son has my last name. DH and I have a daughter together and she has his last name

[Anonymous]

I would never change my last name unless I could get a really good, easy-to-spell last name that sounded good with my first name. My last name is often misspelled. Otherwise, no motivation to do it , though I would use both names on Facebook.

[Anonymous]

OP, if changing your surname is so great, why doesn't your partner do it too?

[Anonymous]

I don’t change my name and I never would. It’s my name. And women do t have to justify it with a “big fancy career” either. I love my name. My husband doesn’t care. OP tell why women should change their name? It’s a relic of a time when women were property of their husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Taking your husband's name in marriage offers a harmonious blend of tradition, practicality, and symbolism, outweighing the potential drawbacks for many couples. This choice, as exemplified by influential women like Hillary Clinton and Melinda Gates, demonstrates that adopting your husband's surname doesn't hinder professional growth or personal identity; rather, it can complement and enrich them.

One of the standout advantages is the ease it brings to international travel, particularly in customs and immigration processes. Families sharing the same surname often experience smoother and quicker procedures, a significant benefit in today's globalized world. This commonality in the family name simplifies the identification process, especially useful when traveling with children.

In daily life, having the same surname as your spouse and children can streamline administrative tasks related to schooling, medical care, and legal matters. It removes the need for additional documentation to prove family relationships, making these often routine yet crucial tasks more straightforward.

Beyond practicalities, adopting your husband's surname symbolizes the unity and commitment within a marriage. It fosters a strong sense of family identity and belonging, reinforcing the familial bonds. This symbolic gesture is a powerful expression of the new life and journey you embark on together as a family.

In essence, the benefits of taking your husband's name — from smoother travel experiences and simplified daily logistics to the symbolic representation of family unity — significantly outweigh the cons. It's a choice that seamlessly blends tradition with modernity, allowing women to maintain their professional and personal identities while celebrating their marital bond and family unity.

Muslim women traditionally dont take their husband's family name since their family doesnt change when they marry, they are still members of their father's tribe. A lot of muslimsowne- especially those from former colonies change there names now but it is looked down upon as something only someone from a poor background would do. None ofmcousins changed their names- our grandmother would make disparaging remarks if we did and it doesn't seem like those of us with the same last name (cousins marrying each other so same last name) and those who have different have any different experience getting through customs, border control, global entry, tea recheck or any problem life. In fact- lots of ppl have teh same last name b/c they are married to their cousins- not b/c they changed it -their father and husbands just happen to have the same name!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages say they took their husband’s last name
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten-women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name

Even amount postgraduate degrees only 26% kept their last name. Thank me later as I have cut through the crazed feminists throwing in their fake stats to this thread!

Whoa. Power down, space cowboy. It's an unpublished online survey opinion poll with weighting "in a multistep process that accounts
for multiple stages of sampling and nonresponse that occur at different points in the survey process."

That's ... not the slam dunk you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People may think you are a divorcee or a difficult person if you haven't taken the last name. I said the silent part out loud, it does matter

I think that is a very dated view. The majority of my friends kept their names.

Same.

+2

[Anonymous]

Millennial feminists are so self-absorbed and tiresome. Keeping your name is so empowering. I mean if you don't keep the name you had in college, it could totally be a setback at your fake email/consulting/wfh/zoom job. Imagine believing this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennial feminists are so self-absorbed and tiresome. Keeping your name is so empowering. I mean if you don't keep the name you had in college, it could totally be a setback at your fake email/consulting/wfh/zoom job. Imagine believing this nonsense.

Keeping your name for isn't self-absorbed. Expecting your partner to change her name to yours just because she has a vagina is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennial feminists are so self-absorbed and tiresome. Keeping your name is so empowering. I mean if you don't keep the name you had in college, it could totally be a setback at your fake email/consulting/wfh/zoom job. Imagine believing this nonsense.

I kept my name because I wanted. Is that a better reason or do I still need some excuse?

[Anonymous]

I like my last name. It’s nice. I’ve always had it and it fits me. People have used it to refer to me as a nickname since before high school. It’s part of my identity, much more so than my first name. His name is fine, but it doesn’t fit me at all. I’m clearly not from its ethnicity. It never felt right. I didn’t think too much about it. I just never filed the paperwork to change my name. Voilà!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I kept my name because I wanted. Is that a better reason or do I still need some excuse?

Fine by me!!

[Anonymous]

Women should be independent and make decisions for themselves. Their choices are their own. Unless they choose something I disagree with, like taking their husband’s surname, and then they’re antiquated, stupid, and succumbing the patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennial feminists are so self-absorbed and tiresome. Keeping your name is so empowering. I mean if you don't keep the name you had in college, it could totally be a setback at your fake email/consulting/wfh/zoom job. Imagine believing this nonsense.

It's a very small overly vocal minority. Dcum is full of them.

[Anonymous]

My wife intended to out of some vestigial feeling of obligation to tradition but never got around to it because it's a hassle. I never cared. I think she's simultaneously proud to feel independent and disappointed in me for not pressing the issue. Can't win.