Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?

[Anonymous]

I kept my name because in my culture that is the norm.

Also I don't want to have to change my name again in case of divorce, or unanticipated death and remarriage.

But also, who cares. If you judge someone by whether or not they adopted their spouse's name, you've got too much free time on your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t change my name and I never would. It’s my name. And women do t have to justify it with a “big fancy career” either. I love my name. My husband doesn’t care. OP tell why women should change their name? It’s a relic of a time when women were property of their husbands.

Whose last name do your kids have? Their Dad’s? Just like you?

Newsflash: unless last names start being passed down the maternal side, your last name is STILL just the name of a man who has “owned” you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women should be independent and make decisions for themselves. Their choices are their own. Unless they choose something I disagree with, like taking their husband’s surname, and then they’re antiquated, stupid, and succumbing the patriarchy.

Being a feminist doesn't mean agreeing with every choice women make. I wouldn't lecture a friend for changing her name, butthe reality is that this is something tgat's only expected from women, never from men, and unlike many other choices, a name change after marriage is only a thing because of a sexist tradition, not because it's practical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t change my name and I never would. It’s my name. And women do t have to justify it with a “big fancy career” either. I love my name. My husband doesn’t care. OP tell why women should change their name? It’s a relic of a time when women were property of their husbands.

Whose last name do your kids have? Their Dad’s? Just like you?

Newsflash: unless last names start being passed down the maternal side, your last name is STILL just the name of a man who has “owned” you.

DP. Please stop with this sad excuse of an "argument". Yes, most people in the US have their father's name, which they were given at birth with no input of their own, so why do women, but not men, are expected to make yet another name change to that of their father in law's?

By the way, I have my mom's and my dad's and if I have children I will give them my husband's and one of mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t change my name and I never would. It’s my name. And women do t have to justify it with a “big fancy career” either. I love my name. My husband doesn’t care. OP tell why women should change their name? It’s a relic of a time when women were property of their husbands.

Whose last name do your kids have? Their Dad’s? Just like you?

Newsflash: unless last names start being passed down the maternal side, your last name is STILL just the name of a man who has “owned” you.

The difference is males AND females get the last name of their father, but traditionally, only woman have had to change their names upon marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t change my name and I never would. It’s my name. And women do t have to justify it with a “big fancy career” either. I love my name. My husband doesn’t care. OP tell why women should change their name? It’s a relic of a time when women were property of their husbands.

Whose last name do your kids have? Their Dad’s? Just like you?

Newsflash: unless last names start being passed down the maternal side, your last name is STILL just the name of a man who has “owned” you.

I just can’t with this weak logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t change my name and I never would. It’s my name. And women do t have to justify it with a “big fancy career” either. I love my name. My husband doesn’t care. OP tell why women should change their name? It’s a relic of a time when women were property of their husbands.

Whose last name do your kids have? Their Dad’s? Just like you?

Newsflash: unless last names start being passed down the maternal side, your last name is STILL just the name of a man who has “owned” you.

The difference is males AND females get the last name of their father, but traditionally, only woman have had to change their names upon marriage.

+1

Yeah, the whole "but it's your dad's name" is a stupid argument that doesn't address why only women have to change their name upon marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My name is who I am, OP. Why would I change myself? My husband never wanted me to change my name either. Our children have a hyphenated name, to reflect both our families: my husband and I each have a different national and cultural background, so it was important to us. Which means there are three last names in our nuclear family. It doesn't bother us, and it doesn't bother any medical, border control, or government administration of any country in which we hold passports or residency permits.

You seem to have lived under a rock all these years. Women have been keeping their own names and identities for generations. Any man who thinks their wife should change their name is strange and weird, unless he'd be fine changing his name to his wife's if that was her preference.

Your name is not who you are. You were you before you had a name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My name is who I am, OP. Why would I change myself? My husband never wanted me to change my name either. Our children have a hyphenated name, to reflect both our families: my husband and I each have a different national and cultural background, so it was important to us. Which means there are three last names in our nuclear family. It doesn't bother us, and it doesn't bother any medical, border control, or government administration of any country in which we hold passports or residency permits.

You seem to have lived under a rock all these years. Women have been keeping their own names and identities for generations. Any man who thinks their wife should change their name is strange and weird, unless he'd be fine changing his name to his wife's if that was her preference.

Your name is not who you are. You were you before you had a name.

DP. Ok, so men should start changing their names too. It's not a big deal, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should be independent and make decisions for themselves. Their choices are their own. Unless they choose something I disagree with, like taking their husband’s surname, and then they’re antiquated, stupid, and succumbing the patriarchy.

Being a feminist doesn't mean agreeing with every choice women make. I wouldn't lecture a friend for changing her name, butthe reality is that this is something tgat's only expected from women, never from men, and unlike many other choices, a name change after marriage is only a thing because of a sexist tradition, not because it's practical.

I don't really care as long as we all have choices NOW. And we do.

It is also practical, so I kept my maiden name as my middle name, so I have both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My name is who I am, OP. Why would I change myself? My husband never wanted me to change my name either. Our children have a hyphenated name, to reflect both our families: my husband and I each have a different national and cultural background, so it was important to us. Which means there are three last names in our nuclear family. It doesn't bother us, and it doesn't bother any medical, border control, or government administration of any country in which we hold passports or residency permits.

You seem to have lived under a rock all these years. Women have been keeping their own names and identities for generations. Any man who thinks their wife should change their name is strange and weird, unless he'd be fine changing his name to his wife's if that was her preference.

Your name is not who you are. You were you before you had a name.

DP. Ok, so men should start changing their names too. It's not a big deal, right?

Right. They are welcome do so and have that choice, just like women do.

[Anonymous]

Why are so many alleged feminists so critical of other women's choices? That is anti-feminist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is that it is a PITA to change your last name. Its been years and still once in a while, I will go to, say, book a flight but realize by airline FF account has my maiden name. And no you can't just update your name easily, you have to fill out forms and send marriage certificates. I knew the big things to update, but then there are also a million other things. Such a hassle.

This is one of the main reasons why I didn't change my name. Dealing with administrative stuff is not my forte, so I didn't even consider it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should be independent and make decisions for themselves. Their choices are their own. Unless they choose something I disagree with, like taking their husband’s surname, and then they’re antiquated, stupid, and succumbing the patriarchy.

Being a feminist doesn't mean agreeing with every choice women make. I wouldn't lecture a friend for changing her name, butthe reality is that this is something tgat's only expected from women, never from men, and unlike many other choices, a name change after marriage is only a thing because of a sexist tradition, not because it's practical.

I don't really care as long as we all have choices NOW. And we do.

It is also practical, so I kept my maiden name as my middle name, so I have both.

Would have your husband change his to yours for practical reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many alleged feminists so critical of other women's choices? That is anti-feminist.

Because choices aren't automatically right just because a woman makes them. Feminism criticizes the fact that men very rarely change their names, but most women make the "choice" to do so.