Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is that it is a PITA to change your last name. Its been years and still once in a while, I will go to, say, book a flight but realize by airline FF account has my maiden name. And no you can't just update your name easily, you have to fill out forms and send marriage certificates. I knew the big things to update, but then there are also a million other things. Such a hassle.

It is a pain. I changed my name after my first child was born (10 months after I got married) and it was a pain. My surname is British but very uncommon, as is my first name. I was happy to have one name (husband’s surname) that was easy for others’ to both spell and pronounce.

[Anonymous]

I kept my name.

It destroyed my husband’s relationship with his parents, they simply can’t get over it and don’t consider us family. Haven’t seen them since 6 weeks before the wedding. To be fair, I told me then fiancé to get out ahead of it and he did not so they were shocked as the wedding approached. Sad.

My parents are more understanding but still mail cards to a name that’s not mine. It’s ridiculous. All of the above are black 63-65 year olds.

But no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing that so many people claim they didn't change their name or that no one they knew did. This is the definition of a bubble not the same as the rest of the united states or even the DMV area.

Nope, I was living in NC when I didn't change my name. It depended on when friends were married - if they married early, pre grad school or didn't have a professional job, they changed their names.

If they married after grad school or after they've been working for a while as a lawyer, Doctor, teacher, etc ... they tended to keep their names. This was back in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

A person can use their spouse's name socially, but keep their maiden name 'legally' as their govt name.

I actually did take my now-ex's name, and kept it after divorce because of my own lack of a middle name (I used Larla Maidenname Exname for over 25 years) so not wanting to lose a middle name I didn't change it legally-but I use Larla Maidenname socially, everywhere I don't need an ID.

A person who wants to keep their maidenname but have a family name could do just the opposite and that would work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married 23 years ago and kept my name. Why would I take a man's name? It's just weird to me and my husband didn't want me to do it, either. He is a feminist.

odd

[Anonymous]

I got married in the 90s and kept my name. The only issue has ever been that we can’t get like welcome mats or cheese boards that say “The Smiths” on it. Not a big deal. Sometimes the kids friends call me by my husbands ast name but that’s okay too. My husband has a unique last name and we work in the same field so I didn’t want everyone immediately thinking of me as his wife. But there’s lots of reasons to keep it.

Most women I know did not change their names—it’s probably 60/40 among highly educated women (women with graduate degrees) is my guess. Some use both names but that seems to me more clunky. I had a friend who had trouble getting on an airline because she her professional name doesn’t match her legal name and a client had bought the ticket. So you do need to worry about stuff like that once you get creative. My friends with hyphenated names seem to have lots of trouble.

[Anonymous]

Hasn't been a problem for me not changing it.

I knew at 12 years old I wouldn't. Just didn't make sense to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my name.

It destroyed my husband’s relationship with his parents, they simply can’t get over it and don’t consider us family. Haven’t seen them since 6 weeks before the wedding. To be fair, I told me then fiancé to get out ahead of it and he did not so they were shocked as the wedding approached. Sad.

My parents are more understanding but still mail cards to a name that’s not mine. It’s ridiculous. All of the above are black 63-65 year olds.

But no regrets.

Your husband's parents never respected him it seems. I can't see straining a relationship over something like this.

[Anonymous]

About 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages say they took their husband’s last name
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten-women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name

Even amount postgraduate degrees only 26% kept their last name. Thank me later as I have cut through the crazed feminists throwing in their fake stats to this thread!



Younger women: 20% of married women ages 18 to 49 say they kept their last name, compared with 9% of those ages 50 and older.
Women with a postgraduate degree: 26% of married women with a postgraduate degree kept their last name, compared with 13% of those with a bachelor’s degree and 11% of those with some college or less education.
Democratic women: Democratic and Democratic-leaning women are twice as likely as Republican and Republican-leaning women to say they kept their last name (20% vs. 10%). While moderates in each party are about equally likely to say they kept their last name, liberal Democratic women are the most likely to say this (25%), and conservative Republican women are the least likely (7%).
Hispanic women: 30% of Hispanic women say they kept their last name, compared with 10% of White women and 9% of Black women. Black women are more likely than White women to say they hyphenated their and their spouse’s last names, and White women are the most likely to say they took their husband’s last name. (There aren’t enough married Asian women in the sample to analyze separately.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages say they took their husband’s last name
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten-women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name

Even amount postgraduate degrees only 26% kept their last name. Thank me later as I have cut through the crazed feminists throwing in their fake stats to this thread!



Younger women: 20% of married women ages 18 to 49 say they kept their last name, compared with 9% of those ages 50 and older.
Women with a postgraduate degree: 26% of married women with a postgraduate degree kept their last name, compared with 13% of those with a bachelor’s degree and 11% of those with some college or less education.
Democratic women: Democratic and Democratic-leaning women are twice as likely as Republican and Republican-leaning women to say they kept their last name (20% vs. 10%). While moderates in each party are about equally likely to say they kept their last name, liberal Democratic women are the most likely to say this (25%), and conservative Republican women are the least likely (7%).
Hispanic women: 30% of Hispanic women say they kept their last name, compared with 10% of White women and 9% of Black women. Black women are more likely than White women to say they hyphenated their and their spouse’s last names, and White women are the most likely to say they took their husband’s last name. (There aren’t enough married Asian women in the sample to analyze separately.)

In the US, right? Where I am from 100% of women keep their last name. The world is big

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my name.

It destroyed my husband’s relationship with his parents, they simply can’t get over it and don’t consider us family. Haven’t seen them since 6 weeks before the wedding. To be fair, I told me then fiancé to get out ahead of it and he did not so they were shocked as the wedding approached. Sad.

My parents are more understanding but still mail cards to a name that’s not mine. It’s ridiculous. All of the above are black 63-65 year olds.

But no regrets.

Something is wrong with your DH’s parents. I’m AA and kept my name. It has never been an issue in my community. DH’s family is from the Deep South where family name is a huge thing.

Your DH’s relationship with his parents wasn’t strong to begin with if it was destroyed over your last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages say they took their husband’s last name
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten-women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name

Even amount postgraduate degrees only 26% kept their last name. Thank me later as I have cut through the crazed feminists throwing in their fake stats to this thread!



Younger women: 20% of married women ages 18 to 49 say they kept their last name, compared with 9% of those ages 50 and older.
Women with a postgraduate degree: 26% of married women with a postgraduate degree kept their last name, compared with 13% of those with a bachelor’s degree and 11% of those with some college or less education.
Democratic women: Democratic and Democratic-leaning women are twice as likely as Republican and Republican-leaning women to say they kept their last name (20% vs. 10%). While moderates in each party are about equally likely to say they kept their last name, liberal Democratic women are the most likely to say this (25%), and conservative Republican women are the least likely (7%).
Hispanic women: 30% of Hispanic women say they kept their last name, compared with 10% of White women and 9% of Black women. Black women are more likely than White women to say they hyphenated their and their spouse’s last names, and White women are the most likely to say they took their husband’s last name. (There aren’t enough married Asian women in the sample to analyze separately.)

In the US, right? Where I am from 100% of women keep their last name. The world is big

We in usa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages say they took their husband’s last name
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten-women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name

Even amount postgraduate degrees only 26% kept their last name. Thank me later as I have cut through the crazed feminists throwing in their fake stats to this thread!



Younger women: 20% of married women ages 18 to 49 say they kept their last name, compared with 9% of those ages 50 and older.
Women with a postgraduate degree: 26% of married women with a postgraduate degree kept their last name, compared with 13% of those with a bachelor’s degree and 11% of those with some college or less education.
Democratic women: Democratic and Democratic-leaning women are twice as likely as Republican and Republican-leaning women to say they kept their last name (20% vs. 10%). While moderates in each party are about equally likely to say they kept their last name, liberal Democratic women are the most likely to say this (25%), and conservative Republican women are the least likely (7%).
Hispanic women: 30% of Hispanic women say they kept their last name, compared with 10% of White women and 9% of Black women. Black women are more likely than White women to say they hyphenated their and their spouse’s last names, and White women are the most likely to say they took their husband’s last name. (There aren’t enough married Asian women in the sample to analyze separately.)

So what?

[Anonymous]

From: https://thehill.com/changing-america/respect/equality/4249567-women-change-names-marriage/amp/

“Carrie Baker, professor of the study of women and gender at Smith College, noted that “marriage is the one institution in society that we really have not moved beyond traditional roles and behaviors.”

“And I think the fact that women are still changing their names is a sign of that,” she said.

The tradition of U.S. women taking their husband’s last names reaches back to English common law, according to Baker.

The practice is rooted in coverture, a legal doctrine under which a woman’s legal identity was merged into her husband’s when they married.

“It was a whole system of law where a woman was subordinate in a marriage,” Baker said. “She couldn’t even be charged with a crime. If she were to commit a crime, he would be responsible.”

The system of coverture, brought to the United States by colonists, has eroded over time. But though women have gained more independence from their husbands, and men in general, the idea of a woman of keeping her name after marrying a man remains stigmatized, Baker said.

That stigma is due to American’s concept of masculinity, according to Emerald Christopher, an adjunct lecturer at Georgetown University’s women’s and gender studies department.

Culture in many parts of the country — and around the world — still upholds the belief that the man is the head of a household and with that the name follows, Christopher said.

Any deviation from a woman taking her husband’s name could be viewed as abnormal or an insinuation that her husband “isn’t a real man,” Christopher said, in the sense that he doesn’t have the most control in his home.”



This tradition has to change… and it slowly thankfully is changing. I am sure that by the time my daughters will get married 50% of women will be keeping their names

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages say they took their husband’s last name
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten-women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name

Even amount postgraduate degrees only 26% kept their last name. Thank me later as I have cut through the crazed feminists throwing in their fake stats to this thread!



Younger women: 20% of married women ages 18 to 49 say they kept their last name, compared with 9% of those ages 50 and older.
Women with a postgraduate degree: 26% of married women with a postgraduate degree kept their last name, compared with 13% of those with a bachelor’s degree and 11% of those with some college or less education.
Democratic women: Democratic and Democratic-leaning women are twice as likely as Republican and Republican-leaning women to say they kept their last name (20% vs. 10%). While moderates in each party are about equally likely to say they kept their last name, liberal Democratic women are the most likely to say this (25%), and conservative Republican women are the least likely (7%).
Hispanic women: 30% of Hispanic women say they kept their last name, compared with 10% of White women and 9% of Black women. Black women are more likely than White women to say they hyphenated their and their spouse’s last names, and White women are the most likely to say they took their husband’s last name. (There aren’t enough married Asian women in the sample to analyze separately.)

In the US, right? Where I am from 100% of women keep their last name. The world is big

We in usa

I know that… we are also in the world! It’s always a good idea to improve