Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

Out of curiosity, which generation are they from, if you don't mind me asking?

[Anonymous]

OP, has SHE asked for highlights? Or are YOU suggesting them to her for a confidence boost? It wasn’t clear in your post.

[Anonymous]

Once you start you can't stop and it will ruin her hair.

Can you just get her a blowout at the salon for first day? Might be a good temporary fix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, for sure. Girls that age and hair....it's a big deal. And it's been a big damn scary year....so yep, I definitley would....send her back with max confidence......

This!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took my 13 year old in and the stylist talked me into doing a balayage instead. It's so pretty but I was in shock at how grown-up she looked and how much it cost. I don't color my hair and was kind of clueless to the cost. So, this won't be happening again anytime soon, but it does look really pretty.

11 yo DD wanted to do something and we tried this at home. It’s not perfect but we had fun doing it. I wouldn’t pay for it to be done professionally but sure, I will let her experiment at home. Hair grows.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

Out of curiosity, which generation are they from, if you don't mind me asking?

Millennials mostly. A few Gen Z as well now.

[Anonymous]

No. It’s expensive and due to Covid I would not want her in a salon n that long.

She can choose to get them once she is a grown up supporting herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it then why not? If this last year and a half has taught me anything it’s don’t sweat the small stuff. She’s not asking to start snorting cocaine. She wants highlights. If you can’t afford it that’s a different convo than if you are just being a prude or restrictive for no good reason.

Umm, no. Not wanting your teen daughter to get highlights does not make you a ‘prude’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it then why not? If this last year and a half has taught me anything it’s don’t sweat the small stuff. She’s not asking to start snorting cocaine. She wants highlights. If you can’t afford it that’s a different convo than if you are just being a prude or restrictive for no good reason.

Umm, no. Not wanting your teen daughter to get highlights does not make you a ‘prude’.

NP here. Yes, it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

I absolutely agree with this. There’s so much lamenting how the next generation won’t be able to afford buying a house on their own, but starting them on expensive beauty upkeep at such a young age IS setting them up to be in debt by spending their first paychecks on expensive hair care, nail care, skin treatments, etc. If you think that stuff doesn’t add up quickly and demolish a budget, then your head is in the sand.

I cannot overstate how g-d absurd it is that you think the cost of highlights has a single damn thing to do with housing affordability. Yes Karen, it’s the pricey highlights, you fixed it, get the Biden administration on the phone! Skyrocketing costs of healthcare/childcare/education/housing have nothing to do with this, it’s because kids these days are just too vain and want Instagram hair!

Seriously, half the people on this thread are tying themselves in absolute logical knots to avoid admitting to themselves and others that deep down they have a Calvinist view of beauty as sin. Hey, I grew up in a fundamentalist baptist church too, with a mom who was fearful of makeup and fashion, so trust me, I get it. Also trust me when I say when you’re at the point of blaming freaking highlights for the housing crisis, you need therapy more than you need to be spouting off to other parents on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Yes! 14 is a perfect age.

[Anonymous]

We have always let my daughter experiment with her hair. When she was younger she got the tips of her hair dyed for the summer (as was popular). Now at 13, she got her hair highlighted for school. Why not let her have the confidence boost if she wants it and we can afford it?

[Anonymous]

Yep no issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you start you can't stop and it will ruin her hair.

Can you just get her a blowout at the salon for first day? Might be a good temporary fix.

Np. That isn't true. My dd got highlights once or twice in her life so clearly she is able to stop! I think in hs and now she is 20. Op don't listen to pp.