Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?

[Anonymous]

Yes, for sure. Girls that age and hair....it's a big deal. And it's been a big damn scary year....so yep, I definitley would....send her back with max confidence......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

OP's question: "Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?"

NOT OP's question: "Would you pay hundreds at the salon every few weeks for your 14-year-old's highlights?"

Right, but if she likes it (which she will) she will no longer be happy with her current hair and will want them again and again. Even if you say no, now she will be thinking her hair doesn't look "as good"

This, and that's why I would only let my kid do a salon treatment that cost that much if they saved the money themselves. They need to learn that stuff like this costs a lot of money and learn to evaluate it based on how much it costs. It's one thing for kids to be surprised by how much, say, food costs as an adult. You have to eat. It's something else for them to go through their teen years thinking $200 highlights are just a question of asking nicely and wanting it bad enough.

Why set her up for a situation where your 25 year old daughter making a crap paycheck feels like she "has" to get highlights so that she can feel confident at work or get a date. Are you going to pay for her highlights then, as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

OP's question: "Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?"

NOT OP's question: "Would you pay hundreds at the salon every few weeks for your 14-year-old's highlights?"

Right, but if she likes it (which she will) she will no longer be happy with her current hair and will want them again and again. Even if you say no, now she will be thinking her hair doesn't look "as good"

Another option: OP allows the 14-year-old to get highlights WITHOUT paying hundreds at the salon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

OP's question: "Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?"

NOT OP's question: "Would you pay hundreds at the salon every few weeks for your 14-year-old's highlights?"

Right, but if she likes it (which she will) she will no longer be happy with her current hair and will want them again and again. Even if you say no, now she will be thinking her hair doesn't look "as good"

This, and that's why I would only let my kid do a salon treatment that cost that much if they saved the money themselves. They need to learn that stuff like this costs a lot of money and learn to evaluate it based on how much it costs. It's one thing for kids to be surprised by how much, say, food costs as an adult. You have to eat. It's something else for them to go through their teen years thinking $200 highlights are just a question of asking nicely and wanting it bad enough.

Why set her up for a situation where your 25 year old daughter making a crap paycheck feels like she "has" to get highlights so that she can feel confident at work or get a date. Are you going to pay for her highlights then, as well?

This. It is just a bad idea to be getting 14 yr old used to this and accustomed to having hair professionally highlighted or else they don't look their best

[Anonymous]

If you can easily afford it, sure. Be sure you know how much this will cost because it's going to be $$$$. As an adult woman I stopped getting my hair highlighted when we moved here because it was just so much more expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you cannot do highlights at home unless you want to look like trailer trash. It just isn't possible

This isn’t true for everyone. I don’t highlight my hair anymore, but when I did, people often asked me where I got it done because it looked great. It’s a skill, like anything else. Salon colorists aren’t rocket scientists. Many of them are actually pretty mediocre, and the good ones cost $$$. For a kid, I’d argue you are better of doing it at home and just going for an extremely subtle effect the first time than going to a less pricy (and thus inexperienced and potentially bad) colorist.

Also, if her hair was a really pretty natural color I would heavily lobby against it.

I don't believe ANYONE thought your hair looked good having highlighted it yourself. It is a skill, one which can be learned but not one which can be self applied as simple dying can.

[Anonymous]

I don't really know anything about this, but I let DD (12) get blue highlights and it was like $160. The blue will fade and then she can do another color on her own or pay 30 bucks for them to do it at the salon. I think I'd pay for it like once a year. I am glad that for her this is less of a "I want to look pretty thing" and more "blue hair is cool!" thing.

[Anonymous]

I paid my hairdresser to show me how to do highlights at home. Best $50 ever spent! Now my daughter and I do each other’s hair at home for much cheaper than a salon.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Already did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I already did let her. 13 going into 9th.

Same here. And I’m fine with doing it myself or a salon. Sometimes it’s nice to splurge.

[Anonymous]

I would not, but it would be a significant expense for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

OP's question: "Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?"

NOT OP's question: "Would you pay hundreds at the salon every few weeks for your 14-year-old's highlights?"

Right, but if she likes it (which she will) she will no longer be happy with her current hair and will want them again and again. Even if you say no, now she will be thinking her hair doesn't look "as good"

Definitely some truth to this. Plus, she’ll get tons of positive attention. It’s just normal for other (nice) girls to comment and say that DD’s hair looks great or whatever. It will be hard to convince her that her natural hair is just as good.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I believe I did when she was that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

I absolutely agree with this. There’s so much lamenting how the next generation won’t be able to afford buying a house on their own, but starting them on expensive beauty upkeep at such a young age IS setting them up to be in debt by spending their first paychecks on expensive hair care, nail care, skin treatments, etc. If you think that stuff doesn’t add up quickly and demolish a budget, then your head is in the sand.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it then why not? If this last year and a half has taught me anything it’s don’t sweat the small stuff. She’s not asking to start snorting cocaine. She wants highlights. If you can’t afford it that’s a different convo than if you are just being a prude or restrictive for no good reason.