Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it then why not? If this last year and a half has taught me anything it’s don’t sweat the small stuff. She’s not asking to start snorting cocaine. She wants highlights. If you can’t afford it that’s a different convo than if you are just being a prude or restrictive for no good reason.

Umm, no. Not wanting your teen daughter to get highlights does not make you a ‘prude’.

NP here. Yes, it does.

NNP here. No, it doesn’t. (Isn’t this fun?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you start you can't stop and it will ruin her hair.

Can you just get her a blowout at the salon for first day? Might be a good temporary fix.

Np. That isn't true. My dd got highlights once or twice in her life so clearly she is able to stop! I think in hs and now she is 20. Op don't listen to pp.

It depends on hair color. If her natural color is that dark blonde/mousy brown color, yeah, she won’t want to stop. If she has a rich bru teen color or a lighter blonde, she may be ok never doing it again or might even prefer her natural color later. But sorry, naturally mousy hair looks a lot better with highlights and she will realize this if that is her

[Anonymous]

No, My DD (25) wants to highlight her hair and Zises said no. Too young, plus I advised DD I worry about all the chemicals affecting their body. I did tell DD if she wants to put lemon in her hair like I did when I was young, that’s fine. When she’s 18 I told her she can do what she wants if she can pay for it herself. Okay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you start you can't stop and it will ruin her hair.

Can you just get her a blowout at the salon for first day? Might be a good temporary fix.

Np. That isn't true. My dd got highlights once or twice in her life so clearly she is able to stop! I think in hs and now she is 20. Op don't listen to pp.

It depends on hair color. If her natural color is that dark blonde/mousy brown color, yeah, she won’t want to stop. If she has a rich bru teen color or a lighter blonde, she may be ok never doing it again or might even prefer her natural color later. But sorry, naturally mousy hair looks a lot better with highlights and she will realize this if that is her

Bru teen color?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, My DD (25) wants to highlight her hair and Zises said no. Too young, plus I advised DD I worry about all the chemicals affecting their body. I did tell DD if she wants to put lemon in her hair like I did when I was young, that’s fine. When she’s 18 I told her she can do what she wants if she can pay for it herself. Okay

highlights don't touch the skin - so no chemicals in her body
also don't you know that lemon juice is essentially ACID
far more corrosive and damaging to her hair than probably anything she could get done in a salon, ever

[Anonymous]

My DD is getting them as a 15th birthday present/start of school present. This has been a rough year plus of virtual learning and is worth it to ease the transition back.

[Anonymous]

What a bunch of snowflakes. My teens are going back, thrilled to be going back and don’t need to be bribed to go back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it crazy to do this at such a young age? She’s not feeling good about her appearance and could use a confidence boost.

I don't think it's crazy, but I would want her to pay some part of the cost herself. More important, though, I would want to try to understand why she's not feeling good about her appearance? Is this the kind of thing that a one-time highlighting is going to change -- or will she still feel like she's not enough? Who does she feel is judging her appearance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of snowflakes. My teens are going back, thrilled to be going back and don’t need to be bribed to go back.

How original, calling someone a snowflake. Nowhere did it seem as bribery. What is wrong with wanting to do something different? People get their kids new clothes too.

You are very judgemental pp about something that is small potatoes in the larger scheme of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

I absolutely agree with this. There’s so much lamenting how the next generation won’t be able to afford buying a house on their own, but starting them on expensive beauty upkeep at such a young age IS setting them up to be in debt by spending their first paychecks on expensive hair care, nail care, skin treatments, etc. If you think that stuff doesn’t add up quickly and demolish a budget, then your head is in the sand.

I cannot overstate how g-d absurd it is that you think the cost of highlights has a single damn thing to do with housing affordability. Yes Karen, it’s the pricey highlights, you fixed it, get the Biden administration on the phone! Skyrocketing costs of healthcare/childcare/education/housing have nothing to do with this, it’s because kids these days are just too vain and want Instagram hair!

Seriously, half the people on this thread are tying themselves in absolute logical knots to avoid admitting to themselves and others that deep down they have a Calvinist view of beauty as sin. Hey, I grew up in a fundamentalist baptist church too, with a mom who was fearful of makeup and fashion, so trust me, I get it. Also trust me when I say when you’re at the point of blaming freaking highlights for the housing crisis, you need therapy more than you need to be spouting off to other parents on DCUM.

I love you! Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Wow it is some twisted logic to argue that someone who doesn’t think it’s appropriate to spend $150 or more on a temporary hair treatment for a teenager is some kind of “beauty is sin” fundamentalist.

I just think that’s too much money to spend a hair treatment for a child. I’d happily treat my teen to a salon treat, but salon color is so expensive and I no from experience it can be addictive. I used box dye at that age and got good at it, and I’d happily help my kid with one of those for a little confidence boost before school. Or spend a little extra on clothes are a fun bag— I love beauty and fashion and absolutely use it as a tool to help my confidence on the first day of a new job or something. I don’t think beauty is sin!

But there’s a huge difference between “yes of course we can do something special with your hair for school” and “of course, let’s spend $300+ on a cut snd color that you are probably going to want to do again in 6 months because now you think this is what is required for a confidence boost.”
Come on. There’s obviously an in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow it is some twisted logic to argue that someone who doesn’t think it’s appropriate to spend $150 or more on a temporary hair treatment for a teenager is some kind of “beauty is sin” fundamentalist.

I just think that’s too much money to spend a hair treatment for a child. I’d happily treat my teen to a salon treat, but salon color is so expensive and I no from experience it can be addictive. I used box dye at that age and got good at it, and I’d happily help my kid with one of those for a little confidence boost before school. Or spend a little extra on clothes are a fun bag— I love beauty and fashion and absolutely use it as a tool to help my confidence on the first day of a new job or something. I don’t think beauty is sin!

But there’s a huge difference between “yes of course we can do something special with your hair for school” and “of course, let’s spend $300+ on a cut snd color that you are probably going to want to do again in 6 months because now you think this is what is required for a confidence boost.”
Come on. There’s obviously an in between.

If you can’t afford it just say so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

I absolutely agree with this. There’s so much lamenting how the next generation won’t be able to afford buying a house on their own, but starting them on expensive beauty upkeep at such a young age IS setting them up to be in debt by spending their first paychecks on expensive hair care, nail care, skin treatments, etc. If you think that stuff doesn’t add up quickly and demolish a budget, then your head is in the sand.

I cannot overstate how g-d absurd it is that you think the cost of highlights has a single damn thing to do with housing affordability. Yes Karen, it’s the pricey highlights, you fixed it, get the Biden administration on the phone! Skyrocketing costs of healthcare/childcare/education/housing have nothing to do with this, it’s because kids these days are just too vain and want Instagram hair!

Seriously, half the people on this thread are tying themselves in absolute logical knots to avoid admitting to themselves and others that deep down they have a Calvinist view of beauty as sin. Hey, I grew up in a fundamentalist baptist church too, with a mom who was fearful of makeup and fashion, so trust me, I get it. Also trust me when I say when you’re at the point of blaming freaking highlights for the housing crisis, you need therapy more than you need to be spouting off to other parents on DCUM.

“Karen”? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of snowflakes. My teens are going back, thrilled to be going back and don’t need to be bribed to go back.

New to the neighborhood I'd guess. Probably North Carolina, where they breed them insensitive from birth.