Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?

[Anonymous]

Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

[Anonymous]

OP if you can afford a salon go for it. At home no they look ridiculous and she will be unhappy.

Hair grows. A simple thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I would not pay for salon color at this age. She could save up her money or I’d buy home highlights and help her. I do think kids should be welcomed to experiment with their appearance at this age, but I don’t think it send a good message to bankroll a $100+ experiment.

I know too many people who got used to parents paying for pricy beauty treatments when they were young, and then it just becomes normalized for them that you spend a few hundred at the salon or you always get your nails done professionally, or all your skincare is from Sephora and $$$. And then it’s hard for them to make the transition to bring more financially independent later, because they are used to what their parents can afford. And making beauty care and personal upkeep an expensive line item at 12 sets your kid up for an unhealthy attitude about how to prioritize funds later on. So anything high end, whether it’s clothes or hair or makeup, they either pay for themselves or I will buy for a special occasion only (like I’ll pay for a designer dress to wear to a family wedding, or give fancy makeup as a holiday gift if she really wants it). But if it’s just a whim or “I want to change my hair” or “all the girls wear AG jeans”, she needs to save up snd buy it herself. She has to learn what this stuff costs and ask herself if it’s really how she wants to spend hard earned money.

[Anonymous]

you cannot do highlights at home unless you want to look like trailer trash. It just isn't possible

[Anonymous]

No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Yes I already did let her. 13 going into 9th.

[Anonymous]

I am letting my daughter for her 13 bday as a gift from her grandmother right before the start of school. I really don’t think any of it is setting a precedent for her self worth or how she spends money in the future. It’s a special treat.

[Anonymous]

If her hair is healthy, maybe I'd research the least toxic dye available. Adolescents are in a hectic growth period and I would be concerned about long-term toxic effects if one starts dying their hair now, and it becomes a regular thing. My DD has very fragile, breakable hair, so dye is out for now.

Henna is completely non-toxic, but permanent. You can go darker by adding indigo, also non-toxic but permanent. This is how I color my hair! It's really messy, though, so do your homework.

Then there's Arctic Fox or some such name. Not very toxic, and not permanent. It smells nice.

I wouldn't agree to bleaching or anything too toxic.

There are also hair extensions...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it crazy to do this at such a young age? She’s not feeling good about her appearance and could use a confidence boost.

Yes, of course. It's just hair. This year, I let my 14-year-old dye her hair pink, orange, and now mushroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

+1

+2

I would tell her at home highlights are tough but it was up to her. I might suggest doing an all over Demi-permanent color instead, which is more likely to look ok and still give her that thrill of changing her appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

OP's question: "Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?"

NOT OP's question: "Would you pay hundreds at the salon every few weeks for your 14-year-old's highlights?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I already did let her. 13 going into 9th.

Just to add, I am super low maintenance myself, never wear makeup and don’t even dye my abundant grays. My DD is not glam at all and never spends any money on vanity. The hair thing is just a phase because she’s been seeing a certain look on social media. I think it’s a totally harmless way to spend money for a special treat during a pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you cannot do highlights at home unless you want to look like trailer trash. It just isn't possible

This isn’t true for everyone. I don’t highlight my hair anymore, but when I did, people often asked me where I got it done because it looked great. It’s a skill, like anything else. Salon colorists aren’t rocket scientists. Many of them are actually pretty mediocre, and the good ones cost $$$. For a kid, I’d argue you are better of doing it at home and just going for an extremely subtle effect the first time than going to a less pricy (and thus inexperienced and potentially bad) colorist.

Also, if her hair was a really pretty natural color I would heavily lobby against it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. It is setting a bad precedence for very high maintenance beauty.

I don't want my 14 yr old to think it is totally normal (and necessary to be pretty) to drop hundreds at the salon every few weeks. When she can finance that type of maintenance she can have at it.

OP's question: "Would you let your 14 yo get highlights for the start of school?"

NOT OP's question: "Would you pay hundreds at the salon every few weeks for your 14-year-old's highlights?"

Right, but if she likes it (which she will) she will no longer be happy with her current hair and will want them again and again. Even if you say no, now she will be thinking her hair doesn't look "as good"