My Wife Has Turned Mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of BS here.

Anyone’s prostate bothering them? 4am pee breaks??

Old man's enlarged prostrate (about the size of a tennis ball at most) is definitely comparable to a growing fetus (about the size of a watermelon before birth) inside a woman's body.
Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

Thank you OP. I *knew* it. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, welcome to the rest if your life.

+1 A wife here, and, yes, at least the next few years. She can’t help it.

This is total crap. I have never nor have I ever heard of a pregnant woman at my office losing their shit so clearly it can be controlled. She may not be able to control how she feels but she can definitely control how she acts. When she's having a good day OP you need to sit her down and discuss this with her and tell her the way she's acting is not acceptable. Sorry, being pregnant doesn't give you a pass to be an asshole.

At your office? What does this have to do with your office? This is specific to the marital relationship. Hormones can make women mean, particularly to the person for whom they’re shouldering an enormous evolutionary burden.

The point is that if people can keep their shit together for 8 hours a day at the office they can do the same at home. As the other posted noted, more examples of what exactly constitutes being mean is necessary. Being in a bad mood is fine, losing her temper and yelling at OP is not.

I hate to break it to you, but a lot of people lose their sh*t at home because they’ve had to keep it together for 8 hours at office in order to pay the mortgage.
What an idiotic comparison.

Right, they can keep it together but they choose not to. It is so misogynistic when people perpetuate this image of pregnant women as being completely driven by hormones and unable to control themselves. [/quot

+1 c’mon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

Buck up, OP! This is how it’s gonna be for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

Omg, no, you don’t ever tell her it’s not a big deal. That’s so invalidating. “Wow they really effed up, want me to call them and we’ll go pick up the right sauce?”

When you’re huge and uncomfortable and can barely sleep, yea, it’s annoying when someone wakes you up. Just ask her (nicely) if it would be better if you slept in the guest room until the baby is born.

What did you suggest for the registry? Did she have specific things in mind and you want different ones?

Getting upset over things out of order is probably anxiety. She’s probably feeling overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

OP you have no idea what hormones do to a person. But hormones helped create this baby, they will help bring the baby into the world soon enough, and they will make other things possible (nesting, feeding the baby and more). I'm not saying your wife should be yelling at you. But a healthy dose of respect for the hormones that cause a pregnant person to be upset is always in order. Just a thought - how often are you trying to tell her what is and isn't a big deal, or what is worthy of crying and what is not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

Omg, no, you don’t ever tell her it’s not a big deal. That’s so invalidating. “Wow they really effed up, want me to call them and we’ll go pick up the right sauce?”

When you’re huge and uncomfortable and can barely sleep, yea, it’s annoying when someone wakes you up. Just ask her (nicely) if it would be better if you slept in the guest room until the baby is born.

What did you suggest for the registry? Did she have specific things in mind and you want different ones?

Getting upset over things out of order is probably anxiety. She’s probably feeling overwhelmed.

OP here. What was meant to say enough sauce. They gave her a good small container full and she mad they didn’t give her extra like asked for.

I suggested we get neutral items because our second child might not be a boy, and she flipped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

Omg, no, you don’t ever tell her it’s not a big deal. That’s so invalidating. “Wow they really effed up, want me to call them and we’ll go pick up the right sauce?”

When you’re huge and uncomfortable and can barely sleep, yea, it’s annoying when someone wakes you up. Just ask her (nicely) if it would be better if you slept in the guest room until the baby is born.

What did you suggest for the registry? Did she have specific things in mind and you want different ones?

Getting upset over things out of order is probably anxiety. She’s probably feeling overwhelmed.

OP here. What was meant to say enough sauce. They gave her a good small container full and she mad they didn’t give her extra like asked for.

I suggested we get neutral items because our second child might not be a boy, and she flipped.

Either way, telling her the sauce issue is no big deal is exactly the wrong move. No one wants to hear that, ever.

Let her get the boy items. She’s excited. And it’s not like anything expensive is gendered, she’s not getting a boy crib or stroller. Boy clothes and toys are fine.

You sound like you could use some help with your emotional intelligence. I don’t really understand why you thought telling a pregnant woman something was no big deal was okay. You’re supposed to be on her side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

Omg, no, you don’t ever tell her it’s not a big deal. That’s so invalidating. “Wow they really effed up, want me to call them and we’ll go pick up the right sauce?”

When you’re huge and uncomfortable and can barely sleep, yea, it’s annoying when someone wakes you up. Just ask her (nicely) if it would be better if you slept in the guest room until the baby is born.

What did you suggest for the registry? Did she have specific things in mind and you want different ones?

Getting upset over things out of order is probably anxiety. She’s probably feeling overwhelmed.

OP here. What was meant to say enough sauce. They gave her a good small container full and she mad they didn’t give her extra like asked for.

I suggested we get neutral items because our second child might not be a boy, and she flipped.

Either way, telling her the sauce issue is no big deal is exactly the wrong move. No one wants to hear that, ever.

Let her get the boy items. She’s excited. And it’s not like anything expensive is gendered, she’s not getting a boy crib or stroller. Boy clothes and toys are fine.

You sound like you could use some help with your emotional intelligence. I don’t really understand why you thought telling a pregnant woman something was no big deal was okay. You’re supposed to be on her side.

She’s pregnant, not a child. Why do we perceive pregnant women as “ weak”? You can be on her side and work voice your opinion and tell her when she is wrong. She doesn’t get a free pass at being abusive or throwing a temper tantrum because she is pregnant. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you lose all common sense and the ability to act like a mature adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, she said the sight of you makes her angry. Why are you still standing there?

Hahaha! We would be great friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

Omg, no, you don’t ever tell her it’s not a big deal. That’s so invalidating. “Wow they really effed up, want me to call them and we’ll go pick up the right sauce?”

When you’re huge and uncomfortable and can barely sleep, yea, it’s annoying when someone wakes you up. Just ask her (nicely) if it would be better if you slept in the guest room until the baby is born.

What did you suggest for the registry? Did she have specific things in mind and you want different ones?

Getting upset over things out of order is probably anxiety. She’s probably feeling overwhelmed.

OP here. What was meant to say enough sauce. They gave her a good small container full and she mad they didn’t give her extra like asked for.

I suggested we get neutral items because our second child might not be a boy, and she flipped.

Either way, telling her the sauce issue is no big deal is exactly the wrong move. No one wants to hear that, ever.

Let her get the boy items. She’s excited. And it’s not like anything expensive is gendered, she’s not getting a boy crib or stroller. Boy clothes and toys are fine.

You sound like you could use some help with your emotional intelligence. I don’t really understand why you thought telling a pregnant woman something was no big deal was okay. You’re supposed to be on her side.

She’s pregnant, not a child. Why do we perceive pregnant women as “ weak”? You can be on her side and work voice your opinion and tell her when she is wrong. She doesn’t get a free pass at being abusive or throwing a temper tantrum because she is pregnant. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you lose all common sense and the ability to act like a mature adult.

+1. Nothing wrong with OP's emotional intelligence, at least based on what's been said so far. Talk to your wife, when she's even tempered again, about how you're both feeling about these changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

OP here. We’re having a boy. We knew at like 10 weeks.

I see OP is back reading the thread, could you elaborate on how your wife is mad. Is she grumpy or is she taking things out on you, we need examples.

OP here. It’s not all of the time. She’s a very even tempered person and never really gets upset over things. She was fine the forts trimester, but has been very moody since the second trimester. Some days she is fine, other days she wakes up mad.

Examples:

We ordered takeout and she literally broke down because they didn’t give her which sauce. When I tried to politely tell her it wasn’t a big deal, she got mad and told me I didn’t understand and then went into the room for like an hour.

I will move in bed while sleeping and she will wake me up mad and tell me to stop moving

She got mad when I suggested things to put on the baby registry

She gets mad for very simple things like stuff being out of order or not clean enough

She tells me sometimes it’s not me but the sight of me makes her mad and that she needs to be alone.

Omg, no, you don’t ever tell her it’s not a big deal. That’s so invalidating. “Wow they really effed up, want me to call them and we’ll go pick up the right sauce?”

When you’re huge and uncomfortable and can barely sleep, yea, it’s annoying when someone wakes you up. Just ask her (nicely) if it would be better if you slept in the guest room until the baby is born.

What did you suggest for the registry? Did she have specific things in mind and you want different ones?

Getting upset over things out of order is probably anxiety. She’s probably feeling overwhelmed.

OP here. What was meant to say enough sauce. They gave her a good small container full and she mad they didn’t give her extra like asked for.

I suggested we get neutral items because our second child might not be a boy, and she flipped.

Either way, telling her the sauce issue is no big deal is exactly the wrong move. No one wants to hear that, ever.

Let her get the boy items. She’s excited. And it’s not like anything expensive is gendered, she’s not getting a boy crib or stroller. Boy clothes and toys are fine.

You sound like you could use some help with your emotional intelligence. I don’t really understand why you thought telling a pregnant woman something was no big deal was okay. You’re supposed to be on her side.

She’s pregnant, not a child. Why do we perceive pregnant women as “ weak”? You can be on her side and work voice your opinion and tell her when she is wrong. She doesn’t get a free pass at being abusive or throwing a temper tantrum because she is pregnant. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you lose all common sense and the ability to act like a mature adult.

I agree with this. With OP’s updates it does sound like garden variety pregnancy hormones but is PP really questioning OP’s emotional intelligence because he didn’t treat his wife like a toddler when she had a fit about a container of sauce?