My Wife Has Turned Mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, welcome to the rest if your life.

+1 A wife here, and, yes, at least the next few years. She can’t help it.

[Anonymous]

OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

[Anonymous]

Nah it’s pregnancy and then she’ll be like that for the newborn stage. Seriously she’s growing an organ is probabily in pain and hates being pregnant. Ask me how I know. Between lighting crotch and varicose veins and the anxiety of birth everything made me mad and angry and I didn’t realize it was coming across like that. It’s hormones and…you know…growing a baby and organs and all that. Some women don’t have all glowy fun pregnancies. Give her space don’t take it personally ask her how she’s feeling sometimes you’ll be surprised to her the responses.

[Anonymous]

Op, this could be the new Normal if she is drinking and becoming mean. I don't think women get mean during pregnancy but your wife could be different.

[Anonymous]

OP, she said the sight of you makes her angry. Why are you still standing there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, welcome to the rest if your life.

+1 A wife here, and, yes, at least the next few years. She can’t help it.

This is total crap. I have never nor have I ever heard of a pregnant woman at my office losing their shit so clearly it can be controlled. She may not be able to control how she feels but she can definitely control how she acts. When she's having a good day OP you need to sit her down and discuss this with her and tell her the way she's acting is not acceptable. Sorry, being pregnant doesn't give you a pass to be an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, welcome to the rest if your life.

+1 A wife here, and, yes, at least the next few years. She can’t help it.

This is total crap. I have never nor have I ever heard of a pregnant woman at my office losing their shit so clearly it can be controlled. She may not be able to control how she feels but she can definitely control how she acts. When she's having a good day OP you need to sit her down and discuss this with her and tell her the way she's acting is not acceptable. Sorry, being pregnant doesn't give you a pass to be an asshole.

NP but the OP only said she "acts mean" without examples, nothing in the first post implies she is acting out. Actually she seems really aware that she is having strong emotions and clearly asked for space ... soooo don't see the problem unless OP can share some examples of how she is "acting out"

[Anonymous]

For decades she who became my wife when she got pregnant and I and I had a wild sex life. Her libido, at least for me, disappeared during pregnancy and never returned. She said it was a common normal medical thing. When it turned out she was seeing a guy young enough to be her son we had a huge fight and were talking divorce but our, at that time, eleven year old son begged us not to. He’s fourteen now but we had him very late in life and now I just feel too old to divorce. The point is, pregnancy can change everything and you can’t count on life to change back after the pregnancy ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For decades she who became my wife when she got pregnant and I and I had a wild sex life. Her libido, at least for me, disappeared during pregnancy and never returned. She said it was a common normal medical thing. When it turned out she was seeing a guy young enough to be her son we had a huge fight and were talking divorce but our, at that time, eleven year old son begged us not to. He’s fourteen now but we had him very late in life and now I just feel too old to divorce. The point is, pregnancy can change everything and you can’t count on life to change back after the pregnancy ends.

Did she give up the guy and how are things now?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. I’m in your wife’s shoes, pregnant and angry at everyone, but especially my H.

Have you talked to her about it, in a kind way? For me personally, I feel so ugly and awful about myself that it spirals out of control and I spin these ridiculous stories that my H is going to run off with a stripper while I’m home with a newborn. It’s so dumb but hormones are no joke, during my first pregnancy I blew up at a woman at Starbucks for being mean to a barista.

Ask how you can support her. I need a ton of extra reassurance, pretty much daily. Plus feeling lots of excitement from H for the baby. She may need something like that, rather than you just doing more chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, welcome to the rest if your life.

+1 A wife here, and, yes, at least the next few years. She can’t help it.

This is total crap. I have never nor have I ever heard of a pregnant woman at my office losing their shit so clearly it can be controlled. She may not be able to control how she feels but she can definitely control how she acts. When she's having a good day OP you need to sit her down and discuss this with her and tell her the way she's acting is not acceptable. Sorry, being pregnant doesn't give you a pass to be an asshole.

NP but the OP only said she "acts mean" without examples, nothing in the first post implies she is acting out. Actually she seems really aware that she is having strong emotions and clearly asked for space ... soooo don't see the problem unless OP can share some examples of how she is "acting out"

PP here and I was thinking the part about "everything sets her off now" means she is losing her temper. Maybe you're right though, perhaps OP can clarify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're having a boy - she's got too much testosterone making her crazy for it not to be

I was the same. That baby is now almost 15 and we're all still together

You'll get thru it.

No, it's a girl Stepson and I hid from DW for nine months and were successful. The craziness stopped after birth and daughter is now 17. We had a boy 1.5 years later and no craziness, FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, welcome to the rest if your life.

+1 A wife here, and, yes, at least the next few years. She can’t help it.

This is total crap. I have never nor have I ever heard of a pregnant woman at my office losing their shit so clearly it can be controlled. She may not be able to control how she feels but she can definitely control how she acts. When she's having a good day OP you need to sit her down and discuss this with her and tell her the way she's acting is not acceptable. Sorry, being pregnant doesn't give you a pass to be an asshole.

NP but the OP only said she "acts mean" without examples, nothing in the first post implies she is acting out. Actually she seems really aware that she is having strong emotions and clearly asked for space ... soooo don't see the problem unless OP can share some examples of how she is "acting out"

PP here and I was thinking the part about "everything sets her off now" means she is losing her temper. Maybe you're right though, perhaps OP can clarify.

Poster from above - agreed, the worse OP said was "everything sets her off now" but that is a pretty subjective statement. When i was pregnant and hormonal, everything set me off too! but i would realize, take a min to go for a walk, do things to calm myself ... I wasn't lashing out or being abusive, but it was hard to be pregnant!

ultimately, without OP coming back and giving clearer examples of what he thinks his wife is doing that is so mean or wrong, my default is to have more empathy for the human who is creating life inside of them, than the partner watching it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, welcome to the rest if your life.

+1 A wife here, and, yes, at least the next few years. She can’t help it.

This is total crap. I have never nor have I ever heard of a pregnant woman at my office losing their shit so clearly it can be controlled. She may not be able to control how she feels but she can definitely control how she acts. When she's having a good day OP you need to sit her down and discuss this with her and tell her the way she's acting is not acceptable. Sorry, being pregnant doesn't give you a pass to be an asshole.

At your office? What does this have to do with your office? This is specific to the marital relationship. Hormones can make women mean, particularly to the person for whom they’re shouldering an enormous evolutionary burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I’m in your wife’s shoes, pregnant and angry at everyone, but especially my H.

Have you talked to her about it, in a kind way? For me personally, I feel so ugly and awful about myself that it spirals out of control and I spin these ridiculous stories that my H is going to run off with a stripper while I’m home with a newborn. It’s so dumb but hormones are no joke, during my first pregnancy I blew up at a woman at Starbucks for being mean to a barista.

Ask how you can support her. I need a ton of extra reassurance, pretty much daily. Plus feeling lots of excitement from H for the baby. She may need something like that, rather than you just doing more chores.

OP, this is the best advice on this thread.