My sister just tried to stage a parenting intervention with me, basically

[Anonymous]

It’s still relatively easy to be sanctimonious when your kids are 8 and 5 and completely in your control. Wait a few years and your sister will eat crow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm more like your sister, but I'm trying to understand why she would vacation with you. Even for a parent's birthday, we wouldn't do it. We'd do a celebration with them on our own, and let you do yours.

Man your poor family, especially your kids. Not getting to have close cousins because they eat fast food? That’s a terrible parenting decision.

[Anonymous]

She sounds terrible. Why are people so inflexible? We vacationed with my SIL who is a bit of a health nut (vegan, intense exerciser, very limited screens). We are much more relaxed with my DS, especially with screens. He had his own tablet but the cousins did not. The cousins all ended up watching shows together and I could tell SIL did not totally approve; but on my end, I made sure that I got the kids off the tablet after a shorter time period than I would usually enforce.

For french fries, I'm sure she never touches them, but I'm also sure she would hold her tongue if my DS came into the house with some fast food. On my end, I would never suggest that all the cousins go out to McDonalds, and I made sure that the meal that I cooked was vegan for her.

See? We all just need to get along.

[Anonymous]

Take a vacay from your crappy lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Your experience reminded me of my disastrous visit with my sister who makes very different parenting choices than I do. Here’s my thread if you’re interested-you are not alone!!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/973397.page

[Anonymous]

My parenting style is more like yours, especially on vacation I’m fine with screen time and pizza for dinner.

That said, I would really try my best not to let my kids do activities that her kids aren’t allowed to do in front of them to avoid drama. It is frustrating but I think the best course of action is to be respectful towards her regarding her parenting style and to let it go on your end.

I do wonder how the kids of very strict parents like this do with friends/at school/on play dates. It seems like there would be constant sources of envy.

[Anonymous]

Yeah she's nuts.

"Susie I know you don't allow those things at home, and that's fine because we all have to make our own choices. My choice is that on vacation my kids can use screens and eat some junk food. EVERY DAY! I won't manage your children, if you don't manage mine, ok? "

Another example would be if her family was vegetarian and she watched your kids eat meat and freaked out. Or if they were a Cult Religion and were so "sad for you soul" that you weren't part of it. How would you respond to those things? Do the same. "That's not for us, but I'm glad it works for you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

No they aren’t valid. There is no indication that OP’s kids are fat or screen-addicted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would be extra careful not to create envy in her poor children - so no pulling out of iPads, no walking in with fries, etc. It’s good for your kids to have a detox from all that, frankly. You don’t need to live like this all year - just when your families get together.

I think OP's sister was way out of line, but I would do the same thing anyway. Let them eat whatever you want when they are with you, sure, but not in front of them. And no screens outside of your cottage. It's not like it will hurt them to have a little less screen time -- they can play a game with their cousins or read a book or help make dinner or whatever together. But I'd do it because (1) less screen time is better anyway, (2) if they don't get a lot of time with their cousins, I'd rather they were spending time with them instead of glued to a screen anyway, and (3) I was raised that flaunting things in front of people who don't have them is unkind. The cousins can't help their parents' rules; show them a little grace by doing things they can participate in.

[Anonymous]

"Nah, you aren't telling me out of kindness, you are telling me because you believe your parenting is superior and if I just did it like you I would be a better mom with better kids."
Say it with a smile.
When she claims "That's not true"
Just keeping smiling and nodding sure, ok, yeah, uh huh,

[Anonymous]

I am like your sister for the most part. But you're on vacation now. The whole point of vacation is to unclench. Gotta relax the rules a bit.

She's in the wrong, your kids are fine, and if your kids aren't fine then that's your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

No they aren’t valid. There is no indication that OP’s kids are fat or screen-addicted.

They are absolutely valid. Sister has a right to be concerned about her own children's screen time and diet. No one cares what OP does with her own kids, and OP can tell her sister that. But the line of thinking that someone OP's laissez faire attitude about her kids' behavior is a beeline to collegiate success is nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

No they aren’t valid. There is no indication that OP’s kids are fat or screen-addicted.

They are absolutely valid. Sister has a right to be concerned about her own children's screen time and diet. No one cares what OP does with her own kids, and OP can tell her sister that. But the line of thinking that someone OP's laissez faire attitude about her kids' behavior is a beeline to collegiate success is nonsense.

The old adage is: Everything in moderation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to screw herself.

And in 10 years you can compare which colleges/universities and degrees each of these kids are graduating from.

I guarantee helicopter mom will be surprised.

Came here to say exactly this. Not only college, but life in general. Her kids are going to go off the rails. Just say thank you for your concern and move on. Not worth talking to her about it.

While I think OP can rightly walk away and no one should push parenting styles on other families, this is just not true. Childhood obesity is a real issue. Screen time addiction is a real thing. Inability of kids to socialize and talk to one another because they're buried in an iPad is a real thing. Sister may be overboard but her concerns are valid. And I doubt the fact that OP lets her kids eat Burger King and has no limits on screen time is an indicator of them being more equipped for college. Please.

No they aren’t valid. There is no indication that OP’s kids are fat or screen-addicted.

They are absolutely valid. Sister has a right to be concerned about her own children's screen time and diet. No one cares what OP does with her own kids, and OP can tell her sister that. But the line of thinking that someone OP's laissez faire attitude about her kids' behavior is a beeline to collegiate success is nonsense.

OP’s sister cares about what OP’s kids are doing or she wouldn’t have read her a lecture about fries and screen time. That is entirely what happened here...if SIL had in fact stayed in her own lane, this thread wouldn’t exist.