How to talk to your child after they did horribly in a swim meet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bottom 3 is not horrible. Horrible is dead last a lap behind the next person.

Nope, that was my 9 year old niece. She did her best. We were proud. Horrible is the lifeguard jumps in to save you, or you have a terrible meltdown on the deck. No child in a race does “horrible”

Well whether or not that happened to your niece that’s what qualifies as horrible in my book. I was on swim team as a kid/teen and had my share of horrible meets. Merely losing isn’t it but losing by a lap is.

But a parent’s job is to talk a kid out of that kind of spoiled brat thinking not to reinforce it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

There weren’t swim meets anywhere around here last summer.

Our team had virtual meets with other teams.

same here. Also winter meets were held

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll? Let's unpack this. They were a "top performer " last year at age 6? In the 8&U? Extremely unlikely.

Anyway, size greatly determines speed at that age. So other kids probably grew more.

Different poster but last year our 6-year old was top 3 at intra squad meets in 8&U in a couple of strokes and we go to a pool with a huge swim team, so not at all unbelievable.

But to answer OP, it really doesn’t matter so long as they had fun. You don’t mention it again. Maybe they will go faster at the next B meet, maybe they won’t.

[Anonymous]

To your 7-year-old?
"How about an ice cream?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll? Let's unpack this. They were a "top performer " last year at age 6? In the 8&U? Extremely unlikely.

Anyway, size greatly determines speed at that age. So other kids probably grew more.

Different poster but last year our 6-year old was top 3 at intra squad meets in 8&U in a couple of strokes and we go to a pool with a huge swim team, so not at all unbelievable.

But to answer OP, it really doesn’t matter so long as they had fun. You don’t mention it again. Maybe they will go faster at the next B meet, maybe they won’t.

Lol, can’t miss an opportunity to brag anonymously!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll? Let's unpack this. They were a "top performer " last year at age 6? In the 8&U? Extremely unlikely.

Anyway, size greatly determines speed at that age. So other kids probably grew more.

Different poster but last year our 6-year old was top 3 at intra squad meets in 8&U in a couple of strokes and we go to a pool with a huge swim team, so not at all unbelievable.

But to answer OP, it really doesn’t matter so long as they had fun. You don’t mention it again. Maybe they will go faster at the next B meet, maybe they won’t.

Lol, can’t miss an opportunity to brag anonymously!

You enjoy those B meets.

😜

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bottom 3 is not horrible. Horrible is dead last a lap behind the next person.

Disagree. Horrible is the kid who doesn't try and won't jump in the pool. EVERY. SINGLE. KID that makes it across is going for it. Swim is about being better and beating your own times - not about the other swimmers.

-- Mom of three amazing club swimmers (even when some years they aren't)

[Anonymous]

7? What is wrong with you? Get some parenting books and talk to your pediatrician.


OP you need help.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is 7. It's a long road. You don't discuss it.

[Anonymous]

LOL at the parents here who seem to be living vicariously through their kids’ achievements. Maybe if you’d had some of your own as a kid you wouldn’t need to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll? Let's unpack this. They were a "top performer " last year at age 6? In the 8&U? Extremely unlikely.

Anyway, size greatly determines speed at that age. So other kids probably grew more.

Different poster but last year our 6-year old was top 3 at intra squad meets in 8&U in a couple of strokes and we go to a pool with a huge swim team, so not at all unbelievable.

But to answer OP, it really doesn’t matter so long as they had fun. You don’t mention it again. Maybe they will go faster at the next B meet, maybe they won’t.

Lol, can’t miss an opportunity to brag anonymously!

You enjoy those B meets.

😜

Oh my, darling, you really need some help. Please take a parenting class, for the sake of your children. Parents like you do untold damage to their poor children. Besides the fact that you’re viewed as a complete a-hole by other parents. But as long as your 6 year old is a top swimmer, amiright?

-parent of top-ranked club swimmers who has seen this nonsense and its repercussions way too often

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll? Let's unpack this. They were a "top performer " last year at age 6? In the 8&U? Extremely unlikely.

Anyway, size greatly determines speed at that age. So other kids probably grew more.

Different poster but last year our 6-year old was top 3 at intra squad meets in 8&U in a couple of strokes and we go to a pool with a huge swim team, so not at all unbelievable.

But to answer OP, it really doesn’t matter so long as they had fun. You don’t mention it again. Maybe they will go faster at the next B meet, maybe they won’t.

Lol, can’t miss an opportunity to brag anonymously!

You enjoy those B meets.

😜

Yikes. I think that people who behave like this anonymously can’t help but do it in person, too. I do feel bad for their kids when they turn out completely average and their parents have a meltdown over it.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with asking. The OP is new at this. She doesn't want to overlook the chance to say something helpful. She is sensitive to her child's sensitivity and self-esteem. Seems the consensus is to let it go, but some of you were awfully harsh about it.

[Anonymous]

I honestly do not understand the obsession with sports and kids. Sports are good for learning how to function as a team, learning good sportsmanship, and getting some exercise. Who cares about it beyond that? I am honestly worried for this 7(!) year old.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't mention performance unless he does. It may not be on his radar, which is PERFECT.

However, if he is bothered by his performance, you can begin to talk about how everyone has ups and downs, and your downs don't define you. I have a 15 year old baseball pitcher. He's pretty darn good and has dreams of playing D1 ball. It's a long shot, but if that's his dream I'll cheer him on. Part of that is reminding myself and him that a poor outing isn't the end of the dream. Giving up a triple and getting pulled from the game isn't the end of the dream. Losing command and not being able to find the strike zone one day isn't the end of the dream. Those things happen to every pitcher at every level, and if he wants to be good he has to realize that EVERYONE fails, and the only way it sinks you is if you don't keep going after failure. Baseball is full of failure - most at bats aren't hits, a third of pitches are balls - and so it offers endless opportunities to practice this mindset. At this point my son is better at it than I am, and I stew and worry about a bad outing more than he does, which I am now working very hard to change. I think I am going to stop going to some games, or I'll at least make myself go take a walk and detach. Don't be me, OP!