How to talk to your child after they did horribly in a swim meet
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Anonymous
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Not totally sure what happened with DC, 7, tonight but he went from performing among top 3 swimmers in team to the bottom three.
Seemed very distracted. Thus far we've said nothing other then how did you feel about the meet, did you have fun etc. Should we say anything else? Not clear if they are aware of poor performance and not sure if we should just ignore it altogether or ask if something was bothering them. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you already asked all the important questions. DC is 7. There's plenty more swim meets to go. I would let it go. |
Anonymous
| Why do YOU feel the need for DC to be aware of their "poor performance"? |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
| I don’t think it’s ever the parent’s job to say anything substantive about performance. Parents are there to love and support, coaches are there to coach. What you said so far is great! |
Anonymous
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It was a B meet, right? First one of the season?
Do you expect peak perfection for every meet? You've never had an "off day"? |
Anonymous
| OP here. Their good friends will receive ribbons, but they won't and they will be re-assigned to swim with weaker swimmers at practice -- I don't know if I should wait for them to ask questions about it or prep them in advance. |
Anonymous
| I have year round swimmers that swam slower at time trials than they did in 2019. Let it go. I wouldn't say a word. |
Anonymous
What summer swim team reassigns swimmers based of of one B meet? |
Anonymous
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Your kid is 7. Slow your roll. Did your kid finish the race? Did he or she try their best? Then he or she didn't do "horribly".
Wait to see what DC says if/when ribbons are handed out and if/when lane changes are made and handle it then. |
Anonymous
^^Automatically bumped down from a poor performance at 1 meet?? There's more going on. Sounds like it's more than just an isolated incident. Is your kid struggling at practice? Is his heart just not into it anymore? |
Anonymous
Seriously. I don’t think that’s going to happen. |
Anonymous
| This thread make me really sad. I feel sorry for your 7 year old. I really do. |
Anonymous
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Oh boy. OP, your child is SEVEN. I have a 7 year old who is doing summer swim for the first time. At that age it could literally be anything. It's not an age at which you can expect much consistency. (Here is where someone with a 7 year old who is consistently fast will chime in. I can almost guarantee I have more experience with this sport than you and I really don't care what you think you know about your very young swimmer.)
You need to learn to detach yourself now, OP. There will be good meets and bad meets. It's not going to ruin your child's life to see that some kids get ribbons and they don't. It is a good thing to learn that we can't always be the best at everything all the time. Your child probably cares way less than you do. If you want your kid to stick with swimming, say nothing other than asking your them if they had fun. If they seem like they aren't feeling well based on other behaviors, go ahead and ask about that. If your child gets re-assigned at practice, they will end up running over the other kids in their lane or keep up with kids in other lanes who are faster if they're at the front. Coaches will then make an adjustment. Again, your child is 7. There are soo many more years of swimming ahead if they are actually good. And they will only stick with it if they are internally motivated. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Don't feel sad. We haven't said anything and are new at this. If it were a test at school, we would probably sit down with our kids to talk about it so wasn't sure if same approach applies here. |