There is an ocean of difference between the student who is naturally brilliant but a bit spoiled by their talents (even lazy or over confident) and the scrappy kid who may not be of genius level but works his or her butt off. I will hire the applicant who has true work ethic every time regardless of what college their degree is from. In fact I do
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not as insufferable as smug know-it-alls like you who care what other people value. If you don't think it matters, that's fine, but why the need to preach about it? |
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I think they have sacrificed so much to "get where they are," that it is incredibly threatening to find out maybe it was not necessary...or even the path that was best for their family.
No, they have to insult reasonable posts like this, rather than accept that their costly approach may not have been necessary (or rewarding in the ways that really count). |
Exactly! It's so threatening to them precisely because of this. They KNOW it's true, but can't really acknowledge it because they have so much invested in it. This college board is really among the worst of DCUM. |
No it’s actually the opposite. Deep down you guys are the ones who are insecure that you’re not as successful. |
Or maybe their experience is that their kid had opportunities at or as a result of attending a prestige school they wouldn't otherwise have. You're the one who isn't allowing for the possibility that the name brand matters. No, you have to insult them and call them horrible people, rather than accept that your approach may have short-changed your kid (or denied them opportunities or rewards in ways that really count). At the end of the day, live your own life and let other people live theirs. OP doesn't have some magical answer. |
Thank you. This is why the focus on schools and salaries is so weird to me. My husband went to Williams, which is usually ranked in the top 3 colleges, and got his JD at a top 10 law school but he works in government because he was so horrified by the lifestyles of the partners at the summer he spent working in a firm that he decided he didn't want to do that with his life. He will never make more than he makes now, which is like $165K a year. I went to a SLAC that was ranked in the 10-15 range in the 90s and is now ranked in the 20-25 range and I've always made way more than him because I wanted to work in the private sector--I happen to do something that is more remunerative and I am really good at it, even though it has literally nothing to do with my undergrad major. We're both happy and have a reasonable work-life balance. We are privileged to be able to live in an area that has excellent public schools and we can afford to send our kids to college without worrying about the cost, but we have never pressured them to stress about course choices or grades or ECs or any of that for purposes of college admissions. I read these threads--or threads about people stressing about getting first graders identified for gifted services--and can't fathom why people want to spend 12 or 18 years making themselves and their kids worry about something, spending a fortune on tutors and coaches, and focusing so much on a goal that a) you can't control and b) doesn't guarantee anything. Live your lives. If your kids are smart and hardworking, they will do OK whether they go to Harvard or some school that isn't in the top tier (now or 20 years from now). |
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I completely agree, OP. It all comes out in the wash, and so much depends on your definition of a successful life, which doesn't have much to do with salary.
My parents sent three kids to Ivies. Both of my siblings make boatloads of money but haven't visited my mom in years. I would honestly rather my kids went to NOVA than Harvard. |
| Always entertaining to watch you pathetic loons argue over useless topics, your husbands are either saints or alcoholics to put up with your insane attitudes. |
Well, aren't you a helpful addition! |
Thanks, appreciate the shout out, you have a great weekend! |
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Plot twist: these are actually husbands arguing about trivial stuff to avoid doing work. |
I am someone who went to lots of prestigious schools and collected lots of prestigious degrees. I have also made tremendous career (and financial) sacrifices in order to live in the same city as my husband for most of our careers, and to be available to my children. I feel a bit like I overprepared for an environment based on hypotheticals. (If I had no dependents and no desire to make my career work with my husband's career, then I would have made a lot of money based on my education and credentials. However, in the real world, we ended up in a smaller city where salaries are lower because we needed two jobs, not one. In addition, I took a few years out when my kids were young, etc. ) Given these factors, I probably would have the same job I have now even if I had gone to a significantly lower ranked school and worked less hard in college (and high school too, for that matter!) |
And you don't have a superiority complex, thinking you are judging us from on high, at all. |