get over name brand / prestige obsession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

See the post above you talking about people who continue to obsess over their undergraduate school's ranking? You're Exhibit A. And you sound very defensive and very sad. And you obviously get off on being an anonymous internet bully. You're a real tough guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

See the post above you talking about people who continue to obsess over their undergraduate school's ranking? You're Exhibit A. And you sound very defensive and very sad. And you obviously get off on being an anonymous internet bully. You're a real tough guy.

Tell me you went to Radford without telling me you went to Radford^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference if you go to a tippy top school. Other than that, the next T50 don’t matter as much. The difference between a school like Tufts or Vanderbilt, say, is negligible even though Vandy is higher ranked. They are both great schools.

I there is another difference once you start past the T100 school. You may have more opportunities graduating from Emory than Appalachian, for instance.

But if you are talking T15-T50, it makes no difference.

You didn't understand my post at all. How old are your kids?

What are you talking about? The pp is spot on.

Sigh. I give up. Clearly you're still in the midst of all of this. Y'all can just go ahead and split hairs between schools and tiers like you always do. As I said, I should have known I was preaching to the wrong crowd.

I'm out.

Just look at the salary outcomes from the school and it obvious that IN GENERAL, higher ranked schools produce better outcomes.

You are mixing up correlation and causation. And also salaries aren't everything.

I don't have kids but I wish I'd had more of OP's attitude when I was deciding on college and law school. There's a lot more to life than going to the most prestigious college you can get into. A LOT. Also I think for a lot of us, some time out of the pressure cooker would give us the freedom to actually figure out what we like instead of just trying to run that same old race.

Curious - so why are you on DCUM??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

See the post above you talking about people who continue to obsess over their undergraduate school's ranking? You're Exhibit A. And you sound very defensive and very sad. And you obviously get off on being an anonymous internet bully. You're a real tough guy.

Tell me you went to Radford without telling me you went to Radford^

Looool good one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference if you go to a tippy top school. Other than that, the next T50 don’t matter as much. The difference between a school like Tufts or Vanderbilt, say, is negligible even though Vandy is higher ranked. They are both great schools.

I there is another difference once you start past the T100 school. You may have more opportunities graduating from Emory than Appalachian, for instance.

But if you are talking T15-T50, it makes no difference.

You didn't understand my post at all. How old are your kids?

What are you talking about? The pp is spot on.

Sigh. I give up. Clearly you're still in the midst of all of this. Y'all can just go ahead and split hairs between schools and tiers like you always do. As I said, I should have known I was preaching to the wrong crowd.

I'm out.

Just look at the salary outcomes from the school and it obvious that IN GENERAL, higher ranked schools produce better outcomes.

Not really if you look at mid career salaries the highest ones outside Ivies are generally STEM schools not the highest ranked ones either

[Anonymous]

There are many other parents on here who plea for a healthy balance, and loving the child you have instead of trying to shoehorn them into some rigid mold that you think will make them appealing to Ivy League schools.

Other, often high income parents on here are very vocal and confident, but they may be hurting their children. Often their only barometer seems to be who will make the most money (whether we are discussing college, major, whatever).

They have probably prioritized status/work/money their whole lives. They think that is the only definition of success. Notice being a good spouse or parent, and having mentally healthy children are not high on that list.

Others of us don't rely on external indicators for our sense of self-worth.

Don't worry OP, the together parents will listen to your post. All we can do for the others is sympathize with their children. The world really does not need more people who are motivated by status and materialism.

I highly recommend the film that you referenced. It was shown to parents in Montgomery County when my child was in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

time is an equalizer to an extent. Do you want to compare careers or salaries from students a decade out from a t25 or t50 to a Radford or Salisbury graduate?

How do YOU stack up compared to this Radford alum?

https://www.forbes.com/profile/randal-j-kirk/?sh=7308331b794c

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

Didn't OP say her kids DID go to top schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference if you go to a tippy top school. Other than that, the next T50 don’t matter as much. The difference between a school like Tufts or Vanderbilt, say, is negligible even though Vandy is higher ranked. They are both great schools.

I there is another difference once you start past the T100 school. You may have more opportunities graduating from Emory than Appalachian, for instance.

But if you are talking T15-T50, it makes no difference.

You didn't understand my post at all. How old are your kids?

What are you talking about? The pp is spot on.

Sigh. I give up. Clearly you're still in the midst of all of this. Y'all can just go ahead and split hairs between schools and tiers like you always do. As I said, I should have known I was preaching to the wrong crowd.

I'm out.

Just look at the salary outcomes from the school and it obvious that IN GENERAL, higher ranked schools produce better outcomes.

Not really if you look at mid career salaries the highest ones outside Ivies are generally STEM schools not the highest ranked ones either

Such a weasly argument. Again IN GENERAL across all majors. Obviously you have a STEM degree because you lack basic critical thinking and reading comprehension skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference if you go to a tippy top school. Other than that, the next T50 don’t matter as much. The difference between a school like Tufts or Vanderbilt, say, is negligible even though Vandy is higher ranked. They are both great schools.

I there is another difference once you start past the T100 school. You may have more opportunities graduating from Emory than Appalachian, for instance.

But if you are talking T15-T50, it makes no difference.

You didn't understand my post at all. How old are your kids?

What are you talking about? The pp is spot on.

Sigh. I give up. Clearly you're still in the midst of all of this. Y'all can just go ahead and split hairs between schools and tiers like you always do. As I said, I should have known I was preaching to the wrong crowd.

I'm out.

Just look at the salary outcomes from the school and it obvious that IN GENERAL, higher ranked schools produce better outcomes.

You are mixing up correlation and causation. And also salaries aren't everything.

I don't have kids but I wish I'd had more of OP's attitude when I was deciding on college and law school. There's a lot more to life than going to the most prestigious college you can get into. A LOT. Also I think for a lot of us, some time out of the pressure cooker would give us the freedom to actually figure out what we like instead of just trying to run that same old race.

not really, try getting a prestigious job (whatever that may be in your chosen field) coming out of Princeton vs. UVA/UMD vs. Longwood. By the time you get down to Longwood, good luck

In the DMV, there are far more grads from JMU, Longwood, UMW and the like employed in high-level government, consulting, banking, and IT positions than from Princeton or UVA. Just look at your neighbors. What a narrow view from the ivory tower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many other parents on here who plea for a healthy balance, and loving the child you have instead of trying to shoehorn them into some rigid mold that you think will make them appealing to Ivy League schools.

Other, often high income parents on here are very vocal and confident, but they may be hurting their children. Often their only barometer seems to be who will make the most money (whether we are discussing college, major, whatever).

They have probably prioritized status/work/money their whole lives. They think that is the only definition of success. Notice being a good spouse or parent, and having mentally healthy children are not high on that list.

Others of us don't rely on external indicators for our sense of self-worth.

Don't worry OP, the together parents will listen to your post. All we can do for the others is sympathize with their children. The world really does not need more people who are motivated by status and materialism.

I highly recommend the film that you referenced. It was shown to parents in Montgomery County when my child was in high school.

“There’s no nobility in poverty”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

NP: you lack reading comprehension and are defensive. See bolded above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference if you go to a tippy top school. Other than that, the next T50 don’t matter as much. The difference between a school like Tufts or Vanderbilt, say, is negligible even though Vandy is higher ranked. They are both great schools.

I there is another difference once you start past the T100 school. You may have more opportunities graduating from Emory than Appalachian, for instance.

But if you are talking T15-T50, it makes no difference.

You didn't understand my post at all. How old are your kids?

What are you talking about? The pp is spot on.

Sigh. I give up. Clearly you're still in the midst of all of this. Y'all can just go ahead and split hairs between schools and tiers like you always do. As I said, I should have known I was preaching to the wrong crowd.

I'm out.

I'm with OP. Those of us who let our kids choose colleges based on fit, without concern for prestige, will just sit back and wonder at the kids obsessing over ten SAT points of not having the right ECs while their parents breathe down their necks.

[Anonymous]

The two options are not wealth or poverty.

The vast majority of adults fall in between. You are deceiving yourself about what is necessary for a good life.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/26/how-your-salary-and-the-way-you-spend-money-affect-your-happiness.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference if you go to a tippy top school. Other than that, the next T50 don’t matter as much. The difference between a school like Tufts or Vanderbilt, say, is negligible even though Vandy is higher ranked. They are both great schools.

I there is another difference once you start past the T100 school. You may have more opportunities graduating from Emory than Appalachian, for instance.

But if you are talking T15-T50, it makes no difference.

You didn't understand my post at all. How old are your kids?

What are you talking about? The pp is spot on.

Sigh. I give up. Clearly you're still in the midst of all of this. Y'all can just go ahead and split hairs between schools and tiers like you always do. As I said, I should have known I was preaching to the wrong crowd.

I'm out.

I'm with OP. Those of us who let our kids choose colleges based on fit, without concern for prestige, will just sit back and wonder at the kids obsessing over ten SAT points of not having the right ECs while their parents breathe down their necks.

People like you ooze mediocrity .