Started seeing this new guy. Overhead him on the phone say “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you confused by this? They’re obviously talking about you. Im guessing Michelle asked “are you in love with her”
He played it both ways said “I don’t hate her” and then pause and clarify that he’s not in love with you “it’s not like that”

Ditch him he’s obviously in love still with his ex.

How is that him playing it both ways?

It's not it's totally fine. In fact, OP should never question anything..The bar is in hell for some of you.

I never said it was fine. I was genuinely asking how was his response playing it both ways?

I’m the original poster, he’s playing it both ways because he didn’t say “I’m not in love with her” I bet you he knew she was nearby so he’s trying to be ambiguous like I don’t hate her. And when Michelle digs in, so you love her or it’s serious?, he says it’s not like that.

This gives OP “hope” if she hears this when he explains it, like he wasn’t sure of his feelings, but we all know he’s in love with Michelle.

PP, I see what you’re saying. You don’t think it’s because he didn’t want to tell his ex “yes” I like her to spare her feelings so he went with “I don’t hate her”?

Yeah you put it better, now this I bet will make OP feel better, but if a guy likes you, he’ll say it and own it. He then backtracked with “it’s not like that” when the ex asked him to clarify. I legit heard similar conversation a few years ago with one of my close friends (he was the guy and ended up breaking up with the girl he was “not hating”)

I disagree.

If he genuinely liked OP in a romantic way he wouldn’t have said “I don’t hate her”. To me that sounds like yea, she’s a cool person, “I don’t hate her”. Then the “it’s not like that” confirms the I don’t hate her. Basically he “likes” OP as she is cool to be around and sleep with, but doesn’t like her in a romantic way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

Well I just called him on FaceTime and told him I went to get my jacket and heard him on the phone. Asked if it was his ex and if they were discussing me. He just looked me. I asked again and said he just needed to tell me. He said yes it was his ex that called and yes “her” was referring to me. I asked what did his response mean and before he could answer his emergency pager went off for work since he’s on call tonight
So I’ll probably have to wait tomorrow night to find out what he meant.

Now that I know it was his ex and they were referring to me what could his response to her having feelings for me, “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” mean?

Or what he tells you that he meant. He has another whole day to put that story together.

In my opinion it’s not good. He is talking to his ex (instead of hanging out with you) and he is basically telling her that he does not hate you, that you are nice, but nothing more. I don’t think he is in to you... sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

Well I just called him on FaceTime and told him I went to get my jacket and heard him on the phone. Asked if it was his ex and if they were discussing me. He just looked me. I asked again and said he just needed to tell me. He said yes it was his ex that called and yes “her” was referring to me. I asked what did his response mean and before he could answer his emergency pager went off for work since he’s on call tonight
So I’ll probably have to wait tomorrow night to find out what he meant.

Now that I know it was his ex and they were referring to me what could his response to her having feelings for me, “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” mean?

Or what he tells you that he meant. He has another whole day to put that story together.

In my opinion it’s not good. He is talking to his ex (instead of hanging out with you) and he is basically telling her that he does not hate you, that you are nice, but nothing more. I don’t think he is in to you... sorry

Or he could just be too afraid to tell his ex that he does like OP to avoid hurting her feelings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg don’t freak out about this and ruin things. Seriously, I wouldn’t have even brought it up to him, but now you have to try to act like it’s not a big deal.

I had a serious ex who I stayed in touch with for many many years, and often we’d joke with each other about the people we were seeing. I remember when I takes to him about the guy I’m now married to (for 15 years, we have 3 kids and are super happy), and my ex tried to make some jokes about how lame he must be, and I had to tell him to stop etc.

Perhaps you were overhearing a similar conversation? BUT if my now DH had freaked out over my ex - who is still someone I’m in touch with, and he’s also happily married with kids - I’d have been totally turns off. Jealousy and paranoia don’t look good on anyone.

You could turn this into a conversation about how you want to be exclusive, but don’t act super freaked out about what you heard!

Yeah no

You have boundary issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

Well I just called him on FaceTime and told him I went to get my jacket and heard him on the phone. Asked if it was his ex and if they were discussing me. He just looked me. I asked again and said he just needed to tell me. He said yes it was his ex that called and yes “her” was referring to me. I asked what did his response mean and before he could answer his emergency pager went off for work since he’s on call tonight
So I’ll probably have to wait tomorrow night to find out what he meant.

Now that I know it was his ex and they were referring to me what could his response to her having feelings for me, “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” mean?

Or what he tells you that he meant. He has another whole day to put that story together.

In my opinion it’s not good. He is talking to his ex (instead of hanging out with you) and he is basically telling her that he does not hate you, that you are nice, but nothing more. I don’t think he is in to you... sorry

Or he could just be too afraid to tell his ex that he does like OP to avoid hurting her feelings

He sounds like a player, stringing both women along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

Well I just called him on FaceTime and told him I went to get my jacket and heard him on the phone. Asked if it was his ex and if they were discussing me. He just looked me. I asked again and said he just needed to tell me. He said yes it was his ex that called and yes “her” was referring to me. I asked what did his response mean and before he could answer his emergency pager went off for work since he’s on call tonight
So I’ll probably have to wait tomorrow night to find out what he meant.

Now that I know it was his ex and they were referring to me what could his response to her having feelings for me, “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” mean?

Or what he tells you that he meant. He has another whole day to put that story together.

In my opinion it’s not good. He is talking to his ex (instead of hanging out with you) and he is basically telling her that he does not hate you, that you are nice, but nothing more. I don’t think he is in to you... sorry

Or he could just be too afraid to tell his ex that he does like OP to avoid hurting her feelings

He sounds like a player, stringing both women along.

He’s not dating me OP exclusively so I don’t think it qualifies as stringing along. Now if he’s promised a future with OP or has alluded to it, then yes. If not, he’s a single man dating around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you confused by this? They’re obviously talking about you. Im guessing Michelle asked “are you in love with her”
He played it both ways said “I don’t hate her” and then pause and clarify that he’s not in love with you “it’s not like that”

Ditch him he’s obviously in love still with his ex.

How is that him playing it both ways?

It's not it's totally fine. In fact, OP should never question anything..The bar is in hell for some of you.

I never said it was fine. I was genuinely asking how was his response playing it both ways?

I’m the original poster, he’s playing it both ways because he didn’t say “I’m not in love with her” I bet you he knew she was nearby so he’s trying to be ambiguous like I don’t hate her. And when Michelle digs in, so you love her or it’s serious?, he says it’s not like that.

This gives OP “hope” if she hears this when he explains it, like he wasn’t sure of his feelings, but we all know he’s in love with Michelle.

PP, I see what you’re saying. You don’t think it’s because he didn’t want to tell his ex “yes” I like her to spare her feelings so he went with “I don’t hate her”?

Why would he need to spare her feelings? He;s not done with her. Raise the bar. See the horses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to ask him about it. You weren’t snooping or deliberately eavesdropping, you inadvertently overheard a part of the conversation while getting your jacket. If he gets angry about that, then he is not a good guy. But he is the only one who knows what that conversation was about, so he is he only one who might be able to give you the comfort you’re looking for.

Well I just called him on FaceTime and told him I went to get my jacket and heard him on the phone. Asked if it was his ex and if they were discussing me. He just looked me. I asked again and said he just needed to tell me. He said yes it was his ex that called and yes “her” was referring to me. I asked what did his response mean and before he could answer his emergency pager went off for work since he’s on call tonight
So I’ll probably have to wait tomorrow night to find out what he meant.

Now that I know it was his ex and they were referring to me what could his response to her having feelings for me, “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that” mean?

Or what he tells you that he meant. He has another whole day to put that story together.

In my opinion it’s not good. He is talking to his ex (instead of hanging out with you) and he is basically telling her that he does not hate you, that you are nice, but nothing more. I don’t think he is in to you... sorry

Or he could just be too afraid to tell his ex that he does like OP to avoid hurting her feelings

He sounds like a player, stringing both women along.

He’s not dating me OP exclusively so I don’t think it qualifies as stringing along. Now if he’s promised a future with OP or has alluded to it, then yes. If not, he’s a single man dating around.

You keep trying to play the exclusivity card. Not being exclusive does not mean it's okay to be a dick on a date. OP's date is behaving like a dick and a player. The end. OP should ignore you the and the posters like you, women with zero self-respect or men who enjoy playing games who try hard to convince women they aren't players. The jig is up. The bar has been raised. We see the horses, and OP needs to too, and you pp need to do Better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you confused by this? They’re obviously talking about you. Im guessing Michelle asked “are you in love with her”
He played it both ways said “I don’t hate her” and then pause and clarify that he’s not in love with you “it’s not like that”

Ditch him he’s obviously in love still with his ex.

How is that him playing it both ways?

It's not it's totally fine. In fact, OP should never question anything..The bar is in hell for some of you.

I never said it was fine. I was genuinely asking how was his response playing it both ways?

I’m the original poster, he’s playing it both ways because he didn’t say “I’m not in love with her” I bet you he knew she was nearby so he’s trying to be ambiguous like I don’t hate her. And when Michelle digs in, so you love her or it’s serious?, he says it’s not like that.

This gives OP “hope” if she hears this when he explains it, like he wasn’t sure of his feelings, but we all know he’s in love with Michelle.

PP, I see what you’re saying. You don’t think it’s because he didn’t want to tell his ex “yes” I like her to spare her feelings so he went with “I don’t hate her”?

Why would he need to spare her feelings? He;s not done with her. Raise the bar. See the horses.

Idk maybe the ex is still in love with him and he’s trying to let the ex down gently

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter what he said or about whom. He was NOT talking to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what he said or about whom. He was NOT talking to you.

And he should have been talking to her, and not on his phone.

[Anonymous]

Maybe ex asked, “do you love her, huh?”

And he said, “I don’t hate her.”

[Anonymous]

That feeling you got in the pit of your stomach when you overheard his conversation is your intuition telling you something’s not right. Whatever you do, don’t ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He picked up a call from his ex while on a date with you, not a good sign.

This. Unless they have kids, inexcusable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That feeling you got in the pit of your stomach when you overheard his conversation is your intuition telling you something’s not right. Whatever you do, don’t ignore it.

100% never ignore the gut feelings