Nanny wants to bring her mom to our house post covid

[Anonymous]

I would allow the mom to stay in your house until your project is complete, then give your nanny some time off so she can bring her mother to her own home to care for her (or does the nanny actually live in your basement?).

Look, you have the right to your personal boundaries when it comes to someone staying in your home. You are being portrayed as an ogre here’s but it sounds like you’ve done a lot for this family and you’re in a difficult spot. You have offered to pay for a caregiver for your nanny’s mother, at least until your project is complete. That’s very reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Let me clarify because I think I was not clear:

1) nanny, her husband and kids all live in our basement (for free if it matters)

2) nanny’s mom is being discharged today from the hospital after Covid (and 4 negative tests)

3) nanny did NOT ask for time off, but asked to bring her mom to our house (in the basement) so nanny can take care of her. Nanny cannot take care of mom in mom’s house, but nanny’s dad could take care of her (I think).

My questions are:

1) do I let her bring her mom to our house and let my nanny take care of my kids.

2) do I let mom come to my house and take time off from work to take care of my kids (this is really bad for me professionally this week)

3) say no to the nanny (her mom can’t stay here) and I think mom’s husband will have to take care of his wife

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Which is why you think she owes it to you to blow off her mom who is still quite sick and take care of your kids?

No, it is why I can tell you that if I could, I would take time off from work (like I am doing this afternoon so she can pick up her mom).

I don't understand, can you please clarify? You found a superstar nanny from another country and brought her, her husband and kids over to the US and they all live in your basement?

Are you trafficking people?

Do you work for one of this NGO or foreign countries where people hire someone from another country, have them live with them, and basically never give them time off?

You are racist and terrible. My nanny has 2-3 months off per year. But yes, we brought her here and then found a way to LEGALLY bring here her husband and two kids...

This is not what is important right now

how is that racists? You took a woman away from her own family, from another country, to BE YOUR LIVE IN NANNY. So she could leave her kids, to take care of your kids.

Pat yourself on the back that you legally then brought her husband and her children to the US, because their mother had left.

How do you look yourself in the mirror and feel ok and superior about what you have done? You have this woman living in your basement, at your beck and call? This is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Some of you are REALLY bad at reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. You are saying you cannot let the nanny take time off work and that is why you may need to let the nanny's mom stay with you/her. But at the same time, you said the nanny wouldn't want to go be with the mom at the mom's residence. So where else could she care for her?

I think the COVID risk is low - but this might be a good question for the hospital discharging doctor. I agree with others that it would be reasonable to give your nanny some time off and I totally agree that this is the issue that comes with hiring a nanny. What if your nanny was the one sick? Then regardless of your work schedule you'd be forced to deal with it. But regardless of all that...if you don't want to give the nanny time off and the nanny's mom needs to stay somewhere other than home, then I'm not sure what other choice you would have.

I think OP is saying that nanny asked for the nanny's mom to come live at OP's house -- not that the nanny asked for time off. OP please clarify.

Yes. My nanny wants to take care of her mom and she can only do that at my house (I don’t know the details of her mom’s living situation, but I think she lives in a nursing home where she works with her husband). Her daughter can’t stay there. My nanny wants to take care of her mom herself and the only way to do that is at my house.
Nanny did not ask for time off, but I am considering it so that my kids can be properly cared for (by me) and away from someone that is leaving the hospital right now...

Her mother does not pose a risk to you or your children. Period. She just had COVID and has tested negative FOUR times. What, exactly, are you worried about?

Give OP a break -- the nanny is asking a lot here. She is asking to have her mother stay in OP's house so nanny can work and take care of nanny's mother. This is stressful.

As OP said earlier, the nanny wasn't just asking to take time off -- she wants to move her mother into OP's house for whatever reason.

This is really hard, and I would say that since nanny won't take your offer of paying for a caregiver for her mother, then you need to just give the nanny time off and find another babysitter. Ask on a neighborhood listserv, ask your mom friends, check care.com as a last resort. Offer to pay for a rapid covid test & reimburse the time to get the test for the babysitter for your own piece of mind.

After you get through this, then re-evaluate your child care options. It's not going to work having someone live in your basement that wants to move more family members into your house. You should get an au pair if you want someone living in your space, or find a nanny with their own accommodations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Which is why you think she owes it to you to blow off her mom who is still quite sick and take care of your kids?

No, it is why I can tell you that if I could, I would take time off from work (like I am doing this afternoon so she can pick up her mom).

I don't understand, can you please clarify? You found a superstar nanny from another country and brought her, her husband and kids over to the US and they all live in your basement?

Are you trafficking people?

Do you work for one of this NGO or foreign countries where people hire someone from another country, have them live with them, and basically never give them time off?

You are racist and terrible. My nanny has 2-3 months off per year. But yes, we brought her here and then found a way to LEGALLY bring here her husband and two kids...

This is not what is important right now

how is that racists? You took a woman away from her own family, from another country, to BE YOUR LIVE IN NANNY. So she could leave her kids, to take care of your kids.

Pat yourself on the back that you legally then brought her husband and her children to the US, because their mother had left.

How do you look yourself in the mirror and feel ok and superior about what you have done? You have this woman living in your basement, at your beck and call? This is disgusting.

OMG NP here. You are over the top. Chill out.

[Anonymous]

I would ask nanny to consult with her mom’s doctor - to determine if there is any risk to your family. That would be the deciding factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Which is why you think she owes it to you to blow off her mom who is still quite sick and take care of your kids?

No, it is why I can tell you that if I could, I would take time off from work (like I am doing this afternoon so she can pick up her mom).

I don't understand, can you please clarify? You found a superstar nanny from another country and brought her, her husband and kids over to the US and they all live in your basement?

Are you trafficking people?

Do you work for one of this NGO or foreign countries where people hire someone from another country, have them live with them, and basically never give them time off?

You are racist and terrible. My nanny has 2-3 months off per year. But yes, we brought her here and then found a way to LEGALLY bring here her husband and two kids...

This is not what is important right now

how is that racists? You took a woman away from her own family, from another country, to BE YOUR LIVE IN NANNY. So she could leave her kids, to take care of your kids.

Pat yourself on the back that you legally then brought her husband and her children to the US, because their mother had left.

How do you look yourself in the mirror and feel ok and superior about what you have done? You have this woman living in your basement, at your beck and call? This is disgusting.

That’s right... I am slave owner now. You are ignorant

[Anonymous]

Also - I’m assuming nanny’s husband will be present so your nanny can give her attention to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the OTT posts. I think it boils down to the fact that a) you are concerned about any health risks to your family and b) you are uncomfortable with someone you don’t know well staying in your house.

It sounds like the only way nanny can be involved in caring for her mom is to do it in your house. But I would get a sense of how long this might go on; I’d make my boundaries/limits clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also - I’m assuming nanny’s husband will be present so your nanny can give her attention to your kids.

I sure hope so, since he's unemployed and lives in OP's basement. Where else is he going to go?

This has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Which is why you think she owes it to you to blow off her mom who is still quite sick and take care of your kids?

No, it is why I can tell you that if I could, I would take time off from work (like I am doing this afternoon so she can pick up her mom).

I don't understand, can you please clarify? You found a superstar nanny from another country and brought her, her husband and kids over to the US and they all live in your basement?

Are you trafficking people?

Do you work for one of this NGO or foreign countries where people hire someone from another country, have them live with them, and basically never give them time off?

You are racist and terrible. My nanny has 2-3 months off per year. But yes, we brought her here and then found a way to LEGALLY bring here her husband and two kids...

This is not what is important right now

how is that racists? You took a woman away from her own family, from another country, to BE YOUR LIVE IN NANNY. So she could leave her kids, to take care of your kids.

Pat yourself on the back that you legally then brought her husband and her children to the US, because their mother had left.

How do you look yourself in the mirror and feel ok and superior about what you have done? You have this woman living in your basement, at your beck and call? This is disgusting.

That’s right... I am slave owner now. You are ignorant

truth hurts sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of how you got to this point, I think that you have very blurry lines of what is personal vs. professional with your nanny. It sounds like, to this point, those blurry lines have primarily benefitted you and your family. Now your nanny needs some of that same flexibility to care for her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is traveling and won’t be home until Friday. I also just started a new job in January and my main project (since I started) is due on Monday. This is suck bad timing for me

So you find a backup nanny on Nextdoor or through White House Nannies or pull a favor from a friend or you let the nanny bring her mom. Life happens and the nanny is not your personal slave.

This is so offensive. Nanny is part of the family. We helped her and her family in so many ways. We brought her whole family (husband and kids) to the uS. Gave them all a place to live, helped with college applications, fees, etc. You have no clue

Which is why you think she owes it to you to blow off her mom who is still quite sick and take care of your kids?

No, it is why I can tell you that if I could, I would take time off from work (like I am doing this afternoon so she can pick up her mom).

I don't understand, can you please clarify? You found a superstar nanny from another country and brought her, her husband and kids over to the US and they all live in your basement?

Are you trafficking people?

Do you work for one of this NGO or foreign countries where people hire someone from another country, have them live with them, and basically never give them time off?

You are racist and terrible. My nanny has 2-3 months off per year. But yes, we brought her here and then found a way to LEGALLY bring here her husband and two kids...

This is not what is important right now

how is that racists? You took a woman away from her own family, from another country, to BE YOUR LIVE IN NANNY. So she could leave her kids, to take care of your kids.

Pat yourself on the back that you legally then brought her husband and her children to the US, because their mother had left.

How do you look yourself in the mirror and feel ok and superior about what you have done? You have this woman living in your basement, at your beck and call? This is disgusting.

Also, it's curious that you say you brought the nanny, THEN, her husband and her kids. So how did nanny's mom and dad wind up here, working, in a nursing home? And how on earth can living in your basement provide better care for her then living in a nursing home?! So many things don't add up. But you do sound quite off, OP.

[Anonymous]

Does this poor nanny EVER get a day off? JFC.